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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Hope no one minds, but thougth Id post this as some of us seem to have had a crappy day

46 replies

alfiemama · 28/11/2008 22:40

The Special Mother, by Erma Bombeck.

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for
propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a ?spoken word?. She will never consider a ?step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side". "And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

OP posts:
2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 28/11/2008 22:50

yuck
yuck
yuck
ffs
nice thought but yuck
anc cringe

PipinJo · 28/11/2008 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madmouse · 28/11/2008 22:56

Like the idea, hate the last line. A mirror FGS

I am a believer, and I struggle with the idea that special babies have 'special mummies'.

I like the bit about no step being an ordinary step.

have just made an expensive vow to two friends that I will never complain once ds starts crawling that I wished he would sit still etc. Ever.

madmouse · 28/11/2008 22:58

oh and I don't like the bit about God giving someone a 'less than perfect child', they are all perfect in His eyes. That's how he made them...

alfiemama · 28/11/2008 22:59

I know, corny, but sometimes it good to be corny

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alfiemama · 28/11/2008 23:00

oh well I tried, now someone please remove this

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alfiemama · 28/11/2008 23:02

alfiemama skulks away never to be seen again she was last seen searching google for another mums forum

OP posts:
PipinJo · 28/11/2008 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 28/11/2008 23:06

I believe God choose us because we are special mum
oh please
god didn't choose me
the overworked underpaid staff at the hospiatl
who cocked up chose me.
I HATE this crap

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 28/11/2008 23:07

alfiemama I have to say I am not having a go at you, you posted this with only nice intentions. but I just hate stuff like this and find it offensive in the extreme.
please don't leave

alfiemama · 28/11/2008 23:13

Im sorry, I feel shit now ( and I dont normally swear) I didnt mean to offend you, like pipin said I was trying to cheer people up.

I do understand though, my ds2 who is 2, I was told when I was 20 weeks it was the worse news I could have expected his heart was totally back to front and probably wouldnt make it, I spent all my pregnancy thinking he wouldnt make it, then I was told he needed a switch op when he was born and to be rushed to a hosp miles away and wouldnt get to hold him, and do you know what he fixed himself (yes his heart is back to front still) but it found a way of working. so I am sorry but I do believe in miracles and this crap, it is this that gets me by each day and stops me thinking why did it take me 5 years to have 2 children who have problems and concerns.

Once again I am sorry for offending you.

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alfiemama · 28/11/2008 23:13

sorry x post

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2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 28/11/2008 23:16

as I said I know you meant well.
but as the mum of a teen who can't walk/talk/ or do any normal stuff, and as a mum who has been to 2 funerals of dd's freinds.
I hate poems like this.

alfiemama · 28/11/2008 23:19

I dont know what to say, I feel totally and utterley crap now, and am actually sat here crying, so sorry

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saadia · 28/11/2008 23:21

alfiemama, everyone has a different perspective on things and you have every right to yours.

One line that struck me particularly was about the child having to live in her own world and that will not be easy.

alfiemama · 28/11/2008 23:24

Im sorry, I saw this on another forum and everyone said how nice it was, I have obviously really misjudged this, dont know what else I can say, I suppose the icing on the cake for the day Ive had, dont worry wont post again,

OP posts:
PipinJo · 28/11/2008 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 28/11/2008 23:34

alfiemama don't be upset. it was the poem I was attacking not you. honest. I know you only posted it to make people feel bette.
you doing that made me feel better.
so plese don't take it personally.

mm22bys · 29/11/2008 00:05

Hi Alfiemama,

Thanks for posting this.

MN is not a "normal" place, and I think certain posters pride themelves on that, for what reason(s) I don't know.

I know you had the best of intention, MN can be a brutal place!

Don't be embarrasessed! (I know i have been embarrassed enought times!)

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 29/11/2008 00:16

why the digs because I say I don't like something?
I read the poem and commeted. I told alfiemama
that I understood that she posted it with the best intentions..
bruatl???
please realise that not everyone thinks that having a severly diasbled child is a gift from god, and that we have been chosen.
sometimes I just don't get the sn board.

TinySocks · 29/11/2008 06:35

oh alfiemama, this brought a tiny drop to my eye! (I didn't like the last line, but the rest was really lovely)
Thank you.

TotalChaos · 29/11/2008 07:28

We all have different ways to responding to the thoughts of "why us, why our family". I don't think it's brutal for 2shoes to feel that this sort of writing doesn't appeal or resonate to her. For happy moments, positive media stories of the achievements of people with SN tend to go down better on here. or simply talking about why we are proud of our kids.

vjg13 · 29/11/2008 08:59

Alfiemama, I don't normally like this kind of thing, (really don't like the 'wanted to go to Italy but ended up in Holland'one) but I did feel present at a miracle when my daughter walked for the first time so please don't feel bad.

mm22bys · 29/11/2008 09:07

Oh dear....

I wasn't talking about 2shoes's post when I used that word. I meant in a general sense.

MN generally isn't as fluffy as other parents' forums, and I think MNers generally pride themselves on that!

Sorry 2shoes...

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 29/11/2008 09:11

thats ok
I just hate crap like that(weirdly I like holland though!)
my dad who is into god, once said to me that "god must have chosen us"(sm and mum both had long illness) I said "no we are just bloody unlucky"