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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Can't have babysitters from Sitters!

50 replies

SixSpotBurnet · 19/11/2008 14:26

I suppose it was inevitable but it is still a drag.

Sitters have said that they can't provide babysitters any more, not because DS3 has special needs but because occasionally needs a pull-up change in the evenings. And their babysitters are not allowed to change a child who is any older than two.

DH and I have no family nearby and although we have tried getting friends to babysit it just never seems to have worked - mainly because they haven't asked us to babysit for their children in return so we feel guilty about asking them again (this has always been the case, ever since DS1 was a baby - nothing to do with DS3's autism).

As I say, it was kind of inevitable that this would happen one day but it is still a bit depressing . DH and I don't go out together that often - maybe once every two months - but it has been kind of a lifeline.

OP posts:

nannynick · 19/11/2008 16:25

Children wake up - any child who wears a nappy/pull-up may need changing, or assisting with changing (I know some children with SN who will change themselves).

nannynick · 19/11/2008 16:27

I wonder if it's been reported back to them that your DS3 does not go to bed very early, thus is up when the babysitter arrives and may even still be up when the parents get home.

Have to say, as a babysitter, I prefer it when children are still awake when I arrive, makes things a lot easier - as then they know I am there!

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 16:31

'Does your 3, 4 or 5 year old wear a nanny at night? ' a nanny? now i know where I've been going wrong with ds3

nannynick · 19/11/2008 16:37

I'm so used to typing 'nanny'... rarely type nappy - lol

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 16:39

nannynick · 19/11/2008 16:51

SixSpot - I'm wondering why they didn't say it was due to your DS3's autism. That would fit with what is on their website.
While you may not have wanted to be told that they could no longer provide care due to your child having SN, to me it would be a more reasonable reason than the one they have given, as they may be able to say that a child with SN needs a carer who is suitably trained. Not sure on the legalities of that but it would be better than basing things on a child's age and if they are wearing a nappy/pull-up or not.

At least FindaSitter has some people listed in your area, so you have the hope of finding someone who will be prepared to babysit for you.

sadbarratthomeowner · 19/11/2008 17:00

We use Sitters too and dd2 has SN aged 7 and still wears a nappy... So far, we have just been lucky that she hasn't needed changing after we've gone out, but it does happen.

We don't go out often but I think I will mention this to our normal sitter when she is next here! She is pretty unimpressed with Sitters anyway!

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/11/2008 18:08

what a load of bollocks!!

if that is sitters policy then they are fucking insane - scuse my french!!

i assumed the sitters are all crb checked and are capable of looking after children/changing a nannp if need be

it is very RARE imo to have a fully potty trained child of 2

hope you find someone sex pot

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/11/2008 18:10

whoops

meant six spot not sex pot

silverfrog · 19/11/2008 18:13

Sitters have never mentioned this to me... Have used them for the last 2 years. Dd1 is 4 and still in nappies (and they knew about her SN as specifically told them, and they never said they couldn't cope with that either)

dd2 (NT so far) is coming up to 2, and is nowhere near out of nappies, so their policay wouldn't hold here for a second.

Mind you, they are always pants at finding us a Sitter (wherever we are in the country) - maybe that's because no-one wanted to tell us about the nappy policy

AbbaFan · 19/11/2008 18:48

I work for sitters, and if this 'rule' has come into place, they seem to have forgotten to have told their employee's as I have never heard of this.

Sounds ridiculous to me.

supportman · 19/11/2008 19:43

Can't believe that they have a policy against providing babysitters for children with special needs, which is illegal for them to do under the terms of the DDA.

melmamof3 · 19/11/2008 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drowninginlaundry · 19/11/2008 20:36

We used Sitters when we lived in London and no-one ever said anything about not being able to change DS1. None of the ladies that babysat for us said anything when we mentioned about DS1's pull-ups (he's 4 1/2, we last used sitters a few months ago!)

I agree with supportman, sounds like a DDA issue. In fact, I am pretty sure that they can't discriminate against children with SN. The act was extended in 2005 and now covers 'delivery of services' as well as employment and education. Why don't you have a quick google and have a word with Sitters, I think they are on very thin ice here.

We had problems with them before regarding their stupid system and found them pretty unhelpful, but as we had no other option, we kept using them. Found some really nice sitters though them who we ended up contacting directly.

lazymumofteenagesons · 19/11/2008 20:59

DS1, now 17 and would be mortified if he knew I was posting this, wore nappies at night until well after 5th birthday - no special needs. In fact I asked a paediatrician if this was a problem and he said 10% of boys between 5 and 7 are still wetting at night and not considered a problem until 7+. He advised me to keep nappies on until they were dry in the morning, otherwise I would be changing sheets every day. He was dry by 6!

mm22bys · 19/11/2008 21:12

Bollocks.

We have been using Sitters for years (DS1 is 4.6) and DS2 has just (today!) turned 2. There has never been any suggestion that they would not change either's nappy because of their age or needs or otherwise.

I have no idea if a sitter has changed either of their nappies (not that DS1 has been in a nappy for a while), I would have thought and hoped that if the need arose they would have no problem.

In fact, one sitter we had, after DS2 was born, told us that looking after two would be a "doddle" as she had experience in looking after children with SN (no idea what dx those child/ren had though).

Who at Sitters told you this?

I have actually had more problems with their Sitters turning up late (same Sitter, two different occassions, one time she accepted a booking and told us the day before that due to her day-time work commitments she would be "late").

mm22bys · 19/11/2008 21:16

Have read the "T&C", I must have missed it, but where does it say they will not change a child over the age of two?

sadbarratthomeowner · 20/11/2008 16:03

I think it is almost certainly discrimination against SN children, but they are using the nappy issue as an excuse as they know they're on dodgy ground. I did mention to our regular sitter that it says no SN children on their website and she was appalled. Said she had no problems with dd2, who while physically disabled and with learning disabilities doesn't cause her any trouble at all 90% of the time.

Verso · 21/11/2008 04:52

I agree that this is discrimination. I have used Sitters for the past three years and DD is in a nappy at night and they have never batted an eyelid about it. I'm and disappointed to hear they have behaved this way to you as I've always found the service really good.

tomsmumautism · 21/11/2008 06:50

I@m sorry I don't believe this. We were told by one nursery that they couldn't change my son's nappy (he was 8 at the time) as it "infringed his human rights". Strangely the play group he goes to now have no such problem. So - clearly they are using double speak to get out of providing a more specialist service. I would imagine you could challenge this under DDA if you had the time, energy or inclination. Can you get direct payments towards a sitter? I know they are hard to find - it took us two years - but now we have two and direct payments fund them. Many children over 2 wear nappies, and even if they didn't your child does. It sounds like an excuse to cut back a service that is hard to recruit into. I'll test call Sitters and see what their response is also. In principle any service you offer to the public should be just as available to someone with SN as not. That's the basis of DDA as far as I'm aware

chin up - there will be a solution somewhere

ScummyMummy · 21/11/2008 07:11

Write them a letter threatening dda action against them, sixspot. The website entry alone would be evidence of a breach, I reckon.

p.s. I'd love to babysit for you if findasitter doesn't come up with the goods. Let me know a few days in advance and I'll do it like a shot. It would be a pleasure. If you feel bad about it you can always look after the twins of scum in return sometime or pay me a nominal fee to get a taxi home.

p.p.s. pmsl @sexspot!

ScummyMummy · 21/11/2008 07:11

sex pot, even

ScummyMummy · 21/11/2008 07:23

I think I've lost your email, six. I've had 2 accounts go all weird on me and am back to using a very old one. I'll give you it on Saturday so we discuss further offline. I really would like to do this if you'd have me- am CRB checked and have worked with kids with range of needs in the past.

mm22bys · 21/11/2008 07:24

I can't believe they have not already been challenged - I bet most people never get that far.

I wonder how they define "special needs" anyway? Is a child who would require an insulin injection before bed "special needs"? And back to the nappies, they may as well say they only have sitters for children up till their second birthday - I know no child, SN or not, who is dry overnight the day after turning two.

I am shocked.

Original poster

SixSpotBurnet · 22/11/2008 14:41

Thanks everyone.

I've had a nice email back from the lady at FindASitter so I think that is definitely the way forward for us, but Scummy thanks so much for the offer - that is very kind!

Thanks everyone for their input. All of you who use Sitters and have children over the age of two who need to be changed - I advise you just to carry on discussing this with the individual babysitter and don't mention it to the people at Sitters who deal with the bookings!

OP posts:

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