Can't have babysitters from Sitters!

[SixSpotBurnet]

I suppose it was inevitable but it is still a drag.

Sitters have said that they can't provide babysitters any more, not because DS3 has special needs but because occasionally needs a pull-up change in the evenings. And their babysitters are not allowed to change a child who is any older than two.

DH and I have no family nearby and although we have tried getting friends to babysit it just never seems to have worked - mainly because they haven't asked us to babysit for their children in return so we feel guilty about asking them again (this has always been the case, ever since DS1 was a baby - nothing to do with DS3's autism).

As I say, it was kind of inevitable that this would happen one day but it is still a bit depressing . DH and I don't go out together that often - maybe once every two months - but it has been kind of a lifeline.

have you seen my review for findasitter? The person who runs it is very helpful.

Oh dino. if you were close by i'd offer to help. We could alternate

Now wouldnt that be good? A Sn babysitting swap club?

checks arse- nope, still too arse (geddit? Sorry!) lazy to do anything about it

Thanks Jimjams - I shall check that out. I keep forgetting about your website, really I am a dofus.

Peachy - I wish! It would be great to parachute you in and I think you wouldn't have too much trouble finding your way round my boys - mirror images in many ways as they are of your own!

"babysitters are not allowed to change a child who is any older than two." - Oh this is just getting bit silly isn't it. Their babysitters are all Enhance level CRB checked.

If you're near me (Surrey/Berkshire/North Hants border) I may be able to babysit - see profile for info.

Ask your local NAS branch, they may know of babysitters, as this problem must occur for other families in a similar position.

Have Sitters said what the actual issue is? Manual Handling training needed perhaps? Child protection issues?

ds2 wasnt trained at 2, how many boys are nt or not?

Jimjams - I see that several of the babysitters in my area claim that they can care for children with learning difficulties and chronic conditions. Do you think that would cover DS3, stinky pull-ups and all??

Am very excited about this. Sitters have annoyed me quite a bit down the years so it would be great to find an alternative and just kick them into touch.

peachy, do you know what, that occurred to me too and what also occurred to me is that it could be construed as Sitters' way of discriminating against children with special needs, without actually saying "No, we can't provide a sitter for your child because s/he has special needs". iyswim?

but i shouldn't post things like that or we will end up in another Gina Ford situation

nannynick - how lovely of you! I'm afraid we are in East London otherwise I'd take you up on the offer!

There is nothing on Sitters website as far as I can see that says their sitters cannot change children older than two.

The lady I spoke to also had the temerity to try and say that I was in the wrong for not disclosing that I have a child with SN who is still in a pull-up at night - although we have used Sitters since DS1 was a baby, and I have always told every single babysitter all about all three of the DSs. She did acknowledge that there is not anywhere on the Sitters website where you can state that you child has extra/special/different needs.

About 10 or so years ago, I cared for a boy aged 6, who was NT, but who still wore nappies at night. I've known many children aged 2+ who wear nappies, particularly 3 and 4 year olds, who while being dry during the day, may well have a nappy at night.

Maybe we need a Mumsnet Survey - Does your child aged 2+ wear a nappy at night? Asking age of child in years.
I bet there will be quite a lot of children aged 2 years 1-day old or older who still wear a night nappy.

nannynick, I'm sure there are!

Sixspot - I'm sure it does. If I said LD's I would assume that I might be dealing with nappies. Do email Sally who runs it though I emailed her to ask a few questions and found her really helpful. She may even know the people in your area.

I'm on FindASitter, can't say I've had any enquiries, but I'm a bloke which may affect things! Saying that though, I think the site is great for finding local babysitters (especially now with the map feature). Hope you are able to get in touch with a few people who can be of help to you, and who are not put off by having to change a stinky pull-up

Sitters terms and conditions seem a bit hidden to me. It is not until stage 3 of the registration form, that you find a link to their Terms and Conditions - so here is the link for anyone wondering what their terms of business are. Can't see anything in that myself which says about Special Needs, changing nappies etc. Expect they may send through a more comprehensive Terms and Conditions when a parent registers - do they?

Make sure you cancel your Membership, as you don't want them to re-bill your credit card every 3 months.

I thought more than 10% of 5year olds are not dry at night! Goodness knows what it is at 2 - most perhaps.

more about respitey stuff here. You might recognise someone on that link.....

Sally may even respond on this thread - she's a fellow Mumsnetter

Is she?

Good job I've said nice things about her

I am stunned at this.
Can't change nappies on kiddies over 2?
FFS!
Of the 6 2-3yr old friends offspring - all 6 are in nappies at night.
And what would happen if an older child had an 'accident' whilst in their care? Could they change them?
Not much of a service for anyone really, is it?

I'd actually be really interested to know if any parent of nt children has ever been told this...

and Saint Jim of Jams - thank you for your reply - I will indeed contact her - thanks again - what would I do without you

jimjams - this is embarrassing but I can't work out how to log in to your site - it is asking me for the email address I registered with but if I was ever registered, it would have been with my old work email address, which obviously is no longer valid. Is there a way in which I can re-register?

You don't need to login - (that's for me) just click on blog or scroll down and click on respite in the right hand column

Yep... there are NT children aged 2-5 years who wear nappies/pull-ups at night.
Chat thread: Does your 3, 4 or 5 year old wear a nanny at night?

what a dimbleweed I am

sorry

thanks nick - I saw that thread!

to be fair, I guess a lot of two/three/four year olds might be already asleep by the time the babysitter arrives and therefore might not need changing.

One of the great (?) things about DS3 is that he likes to stay up until at least 9 p.m., often more like 9.30 p.m, and has been known to be last man standing out of the Burnet brothers...

Sitters does say in their Questions Answered that they can't care for children with Special Needs.

But that isn't the reason they have given you!
Plus they have been happy to accept your membership fee - are they now offering you a refund?