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Diagnosis meeting tommorrow. Come and give me your good cheer please.

35 replies

nikos · 13/11/2008 20:01

So tommorrow is D day. We're going for the feedback session on the ADOS and DISCO test with the paed and OT. Know it's going to be bad news and I've been strong through lots of things with ds. But feel tommorrow is going to hit me hard.
You are such a supportive lot. Come and give me your words of wisdom and perspective.

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amber32002 · 15/11/2008 07:20

Fish and chips, with wine (or cake) is an essential part of any post-diagnostic process, I find. I'm pretty sure we had the same thing after finding out about son...and there was definitely wine when I'd had my formal diagnosis and a lot of me thinking "What the..." and "Hell..." etc.

Nikos, whatever the diagnosis, he's lovely, with as much to offer the world as anyone else. Different things, perhaps, but every bit as valuable. Never ever let anyone convince you otherwise .

Have a post-diagnostic-day cuppa...

nikos · 15/11/2008 09:11

Thanks Amber.
Had a right good bawl last night when I kissed ds' sleeping head on the way to bed last night. I'm assuming this is normal.
Onwards and upwards and all that.

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twocutedarlings · 15/11/2008 09:16

Yes, nikos the way you are feeling is all very normal!!

I still have my moments like that (DD was dxd 14mths ago) but thankfully its not all that often now.

Have a good weekend and be kind to yourself .

nikos · 15/11/2008 09:16

Amber-the paed very much takes the line you have in terms of what ASD children can do. She was saying the ASD was a label that we can use as a tool, revealing it to who we want or not. She thinks of it as a permission for teachers to treat ASD children differently (she means this in a positive way) and not just get them to tick the boxes of the national curriculim.

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RaggedRobin · 15/11/2008 09:45

sounds like a wise paed, which must have made things easier for you. and nice to hear that they recognised all you have done to support your ds.

amber32002 · 15/11/2008 10:15

Nikos, very glad you had a positive paed.

My work in faith settings has given me a lot of insights into how valuable every single person is, whether they are able to talk or walk or hear or see or anything else. Each is as worthy of respect as the next, for all their differences. Someone once said that of all the people he'd worked with, it was the ones who could not talk who taught him the most valuable things. I think the same is true of almost any situation. Making our children's world a good place for them to be, that's vital. Making sure they're safe, well cared for, not in pain, have the chances of love and security, of knowledge and purpose (in their own way), those are good things indeed.

I remember going to an NCT meeting when son was young, and being tutted at by the other parents whose children were 'just perfect'. I came away with tears in my eyes, not so much for my son's differences, but for their lack of insight and prejudice. Years later, one approached me and apologised. She'd had another child who was very much like my son, and realised just what it must have felt like to have been on the receiving end of their comments and attitudes and exclusion.

He's a fine young man, all 6ft of him now. I'm proud of him. Nothing can change that.

nikos · 15/11/2008 10:46

I was just thinking that despite the difficulties, I wouldn't want to go back to being the mum to NT children only. There is a depth to the experience of motherhood with a child with SN. Some of it is very painful, but there is a depth there none the less.

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moondog · 15/11/2008 10:57

Your paed. sounds great Nikos which is good to hear. Some have no bloody idea. (I particulalry hate the way that 95% of letters from them start with 'X is a delightful little girl'. Of what bloody relevance is that???)

Can really relate to the tears flowing at the comments. I find it easy to be hard as nails in the face of adversity but crumble when someone is kind and encouraging.

Please read over my comments in this thread.
Here

moondog · 15/11/2008 10:57

And lovely thoguhtful comments Amber.

Tclanger · 15/11/2008 20:11

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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