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SN children

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Original poster

home/school book: how would you handle this?

53 replies

sphil · 13/10/2008 14:40

I have suspected for some time that Ds2's 1:1 only writes positive stuff in the home/school book and doesn't mention if he's upset/unfocused etc. I spoke to the SENCO about it (and about how much we appreciated detailed comments, positive and 'negative')and she said she'd spoken to the 1:1 about it.

Today when I collected DS2 another teacher told me that the 1:1 had said to her that DS2 'didn't want to do anything very much today'. When we got home I opened the home/school book. it says ' DS2 has had a good morning. We did X, Y, Z etc.'

What do I do about this? I know they want to stress the positive, amd I'm all for this, but I feel as if I'm not being told the truth. It's not as if this particular example is very serious, but I think it underlies something bigger - the reluctance to tell me if anything goes less than well. His 1:1 is great but very young and is(I suspect) a bit intimidated by me. The fact that he does p/t school, p/t home programme is an issue too I think - school are very keen to stress how well he's doing at all times. So how do you think I should handle it - if at all?

OP posts:

Widemouthfrog · 13/10/2008 22:32

We get good and bad in the home-school book, and its quite specific. I emphasised the importance of this to school at it allows me to unpick the events of the day with DS. I always write a reply every night and am very honest about what DS does at home - again the good and the bad. It works very well, and his teachers look forward to reading some of the crazy things that happen - my theory is if they build up a picture of what happens at home then they are more likely to understand him in school.

moondog · 13/10/2008 23:19

Quite, Wide.
Bullet, if I were you, i would insist.
This is sooo important.
I always say my job (SALT in field of SN) is 10% skill and 90% communication re ensuring consistency of approach. Get that consistency right and you're onto a winner.

moondog · 13/10/2008 23:21

Sorry, I mean !

bullet123 · 13/10/2008 23:21

I know Moondog, I'm a wimp . I could do what JimJam did with the ticks and faces.

moondog · 13/10/2008 23:26

Get a grip!
It's their job!! They're not doing you a favour.
Write a letter if you find it hard to discuss. Letters are rarely ignored, esp. if writtwen professionally. Believe me, I know.

bullet123 · 14/10/2008 00:49

It's ok, I'll just put a note in his book. Only not tomrrow as it looks like he's come down with chicken pox.

FioFio · 14/10/2008 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 14/10/2008 09:40

I had a nightmare getting the mainstream teachers to write anything (hence the tick chart). Davros also gave me the form they used at Treehouse (so it was good obviously) and they decided to 'change it a little', They were so defensive!

I'm laughing at your message today Fio.

MeganH · 14/10/2008 09:46

I even get comments like "DS1 sang hickory dickory dock at circle time" (he is totally nonverbal). Turns out he just picked the pecs symbol, that's all - didn't participate or show any enjoyment. But they still do it! Maybe they don't like to sound negative and depress us.

Seuss · 14/10/2008 10:01

LOL Fio - why does everything happen as the bus pulls up? Always! dd needs a poo, can't find the doorkey, phone rings, realise dh has gone off with ds' coat in the car - not nits yet though! yet...

Our home school book works pretty well, sometimes think they must think I'm a bit deranged when I start rambling. I think you need to know the negatives but I used to hate picking up ds from mainstream and be given the whole gory run-down of who he hit, what he threw blah blah blah. I think you have to find some positives even during the bleak times. I like the idea of stars earning Wii time!

Tclanger · 14/10/2008 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

sphil · 14/10/2008 12:28

Moondog - I get the 'DS2 has enjoyed himself today/has had a happy morning' comments nearly every day. And the thing is, he's pretty much happy all the time, so in our case it really doesn't tell us anything! To be fair, they do usually follow it up with a comment about what he's done, eg 'DS2 worked on recognising numbers 1-5 today' but they very rarely say how he's done with the activity iyswim. When they do I ALWAYS write a comment like ' We really appreciate hearing specific details about Ds2's progress' and I've mentioned it in meetings until I'm blue in the face. So you'd think they'd have got it by now...

OP posts:

pReachyTheExorcist · 14/10/2008 13:54

we get those had a happy day today things as well- meaningless! And we get work sent home whch is quite clearly done by someone else LOL< luckily the new 1-1 has been at the job years and known ds3 since he was 3, so has a better idea. His last TA was lovely and exactly what I requested (mumsy lady, lots of caring) but didn't have that awareness that can see through things, iykwim? We'd get 'really enjoyed visiting historian today', whereas now we get 'sat attentively throughout but I don't think he took anything in'.
Which is far more accurate, but it takes a while to realise that about ds3.

I have noticed something though: if I start with a positive comment,. ds3 has always had a god day; a negative and its a bad day. Even when I am deliberately being ntrue to test the theory LOL

' even get comments like "DS1 sang hickory dickory dock at circle time" (he is totally nonverbal). ' We ahd an assessment 2 years ago by Ed Psych where ds3 apparenlty made a complex snowman by verbal instreuction only . He couldn't do that now- has never picked up a pen or paper through interest- and I couldn't find one person to say they'd witnessed it or seen the finsished article.

Original poster

sphil · 14/10/2008 18:07

I once got 'DS2 took part in an activity to choose our favourite foods today. He chose pizza and vegetables'
DS2 has never eaten a pizza in his life and I can only get him to eat veg if I process it into oblivion.
PMSL but also - it was so obvious that he'd chosen the pictures at random.
I suppose I can't expect them to be experts on his diet - but if they'd asked me the day before I could have suggested some foods he DOES like.

OP posts:

moondog · 14/10/2008 19:15

Inn that case Sphil I would write a short letter report in which I would have two headings

UNHELPFUL COMMENTS

HELPFUL COMMENTS

cOPIOUS EXAMPLES OF BOTH SO THAT THEY GET THE MESSAGE. (Oops) Photocopy it and either a. Personally present every relevant person with a copy
b. Print out a list of names of all relevant people on back, 'round robin' it and gtet them all to sign and date it under something like

'I have read and understood the following as received from Sphil'

That should do it. Sometimes you have to be as blunt as that.

Original poster

sphil · 15/10/2008 10:10

You see, if I was that blunt I think the 1:1 would just shrivel up on the spot.

OP posts:

Peachy · 15/10/2008 10:54

Sphil- we once had a call from a SALT that mentioned how much ds1 loved cheese. I was a bit ??? as he is casein intol and has never tried it. When the report arrived the entire discussion was about cheese and pickle V cheese and onion sarnies, and he was eulogising about cheese and pickle . Still never got to the bottom of that!. Bizarrely a few years later they ahd to do sandwiches at school, guess what ds2 planned to make (before I stepped in). And his favourite stim now (many times a day)? cheeeeeeese.

If the tips MD suggested are a bit harh for your 1-1, write out exactly as MD suggests, leave for a few hours then come back and spend time softening without losing the actual info; I often do that with e-mails (usually end up sending as is but putting in a falsely effusive greeting and / or joke comment).

Original poster

sphil · 15/10/2008 13:46

DS2 has a different TA occasionally. Interestingly enough she wrote me a long, informative and very honest note today saying how agitated he'd been and how she'd dealt with it (very well!). But she wrote it on a separate piece of paper!!!

I will think of a way to broach it next week at the review meeting - also DH is coming and he's a lot lessofawimp-- more assertive than me!

OP posts:

Original poster

sphil · 15/10/2008 13:47

Damn lessofawimp--

OP posts:

tink123 · 15/10/2008 18:55

We had this with dd when she went to child development unit. Her book said she had been good, behaved well, no problems. Well when it came to review meeting, same nurse who wrote in book was surely talking about another child - clingy, hit out, did not know how to interact.

I was gobsmacked. I would rather we did not get a book.

Novacane · 15/10/2008 19:28

My DS has just started reception and has a home/school book. It's awful! All it seems to say is he hit so and so, struck out when we asked him to do so and so,.I dread reading it!

'Mininova had a bad morning today,had to be told repeatably not to hurt people'- that was yesterdays.

When he has a good afternoon, they say 'he had a good afternoon' and thats it.

So I am experiencing the other side of the coin!

Peachy · 15/10/2008 22:14

Just got ds1's book written in after 3 weeks

it was buried in his bag each day and he wasn't handing it in

why can they not figure that a child in need of a book / statement / etc might just need promptimg to hand it over?

Original poster

sphil · 15/10/2008 22:15

Peachy - have you seen my carnival question post? [smile}

OP posts:

Peachy · 15/10/2008 22:16

Novacane-

ds1's (when filed in)

reads in weekly blocks:

Mnday- hit 2 people, kicked one

Tuesday- hit 3 people, swung bags at lunchtime

etc etc. never ' worked well i art today', or anything like that: just basically a tally chart

Peachy · 15/10/2008 22:16

Sphil- which section is it in???

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