AIBU to wish that people would realise that there is more than one child who needs help one here

[2shoesdrippingwithblood]

sorry but I am getting really pissed of.
there seems to be a couple of do gooders who seem to think that there is only one child on the sn topic.

riven oh I know, this happened with dd's freind, he died the week the f* adaptions were going to be finally put in.

tclanger have bumped the thread.

here it is

I think the issue of singling out one child is very difficult. I do think that people read of one child's issues and unintentionally don't realize about all the others that need support.

And I personally think that it's far more effective to do something for all than just for one, not necessarily because of unfairness etc but because the more people you have the more successful you are likely to be.

for example. x' child needs a piece of equipment, and someone who is close to that child's parent feels they would like to raise some money to help buy it. They put the word out, and everyone who knows that person decides that they'd like to raise money for that child. But next door lives y, whose child needs a similar piece of equipment. And one of y's friends talks to all her friends and they decide to raise the money to buy the piece of equipment. Now if x and y's friends would just all get together and collectively raise money, they would be able to reach that many more people, and raise that much more awareness that one joint effort would be far more likely to raise more money than two little (in people terms) efforts, iyswim?

bloody hell don't know what happened to my punctuation there.

of course. But I think the issue here is that generally, if you knew more than one child with the same need, you wouldn't just think of trying to help one and not the other.

Often people who fundraise for someone's transplant/trip to the states/ are doing it for someone they know well - it's often a friend or family member etc.

I think the issue with mn is that it is well known that there are several children with similar requirements/needs, (most are children of well-known, long-term posters who have always posted openly about their children's sn), so to fund-raise for one only must leave the parents of the other children wondering "why is my child not immportant enough to fund-raise for in comparison to another child".

I am positive it's nothing personal when people get upset about that, but when everyone has to fight the same systems and sympathy/fund-raising only comes to one child and not others I imagine it must be immensely frustrating.

Apologies to any of the other parents if I am speaking out of turn

I don't know if I've got this all wrong or not. I thought the OP was having a vent at posters (like me )who appear to sympathise with a particular poster or posters. I post, perhaps where I shouldn't, sympathising where I can't empathise and bumping Unanswered threads that I can't answer. It seems I've got the wrong end of the stick I think
If it is about fundraising, I can completely see where OP is coming from and agree with wannabe re:comparisons to other similar children. All I can say is, I try to read every thread, maybe I post naively but I can only respond to the threads that are there. If I've still got it wrong and have offended anyone now, or previously, then I sincerely apologise xx

Riven forgive me if I am wrong. Do you and your Dd both get DLA? And does your DH get Carers allowence? As you have 4 kids (as do I) and I assume you get 2 lots of DLA, then you will be on a similar amount each month to us, and TBH its a fair whack.. I don't understand why you can't afford the car.. Are you getting all the benifits you are entitled to?

SGK - afaik Riven and family bought their home and have a mortgage so i assume that takes up a large proportion of their income/benefits.

i see..

at the turn this thread is taking, seems to be getting a tad personal now. and hope my post hasn't just made things worse!

so,I just thought that Riven might not be recieving all she is entitled too. I wantedto make sure she was getting everything.

so,I just thought that Riven might not be recieving all she is entitled too. I wantedto make sure she was getting everything.

so=no, trying to type with little fingers about lol

i am sorry If it seemed like I was attacking Riven, that wan't my intention.
I suppose I started this thread out of frustration.
I am still waiting for the phisio to arrange for us to see the rep. untill that happens and I get the bit of paper with the price on it, I can't hit the charitys. I can just see time slipping away. I really want to get her trike by spring.
seeing the threads made me feel a bit
that people were helping someone else. very childish I know. I jsut feel people do miss the point sometimes.

sorry missed loads of this stuff before and haven't read other thread

2shoes - we got tomcat trike for dd. Saw them at naidex and they put quote in post. Applied to children today - physio filled in some of form and got bulk of the money promised 1 month later. Is there no chance whoever you wish to procur trike from can just send you quote? Talk to em and explain what yr after without all the faff of reps coming out

Oh I am being a bit over prickly/over protective - it's an awkward subject, as it's so shite that on top of all the day to day stresses it's such a palaver getting appropriate equipment for your kids.

it's a pity that there is a hold up on the quote - does the rep have to see DD to recommend the right trike? just wondering why physio can't tell you the trike specifications and then you speak directly to the rep.

ejb1976 thanks for that I will give phiso another week as her imput is so importanet. the trouble is dd will need major adaptions, some of these will be done by the engineers at her school. so I have to keep the phisio involved all the way.
what I might do is contact tomcats direct and ask myself about a rep comming in.
if the rep comes to the school he might get more sales as there might be othe parents who want to see him.

TotalChaos my fault I started the thread in the heat of the moment. I do get annoyed at people saying that charitys shouldn't be needed. the goverment can only do so much.

The bloke at Tomcat is really friendly 2shoes.. fab bloke

is he a looker?

no lol!!

In all fairness 2 shoes you never told us you needed anything and I can't split myself in half.

charities are important- quite often they work againt givernment agendas or ime pick up the shite the funded agencies mess up

at homestart most of my work was picking up famillies ss couldnt deal with not my job, and we had to pull volunteers out of shite situations more than once.

I do generally see myself as a do gooder. if i weren't i'd be a do badder or a do nothing-er. no ta.

dd has a symetric chair and the man who cam out was calle dmr Jolly and he was jolly