has anyone payed private for a dx of Aspergers ? if so how much?

[trace2]

we been told it can take years to get a dx for ds so thinking of going private, do we wait for nhs or pay? does anyone know how much it is?

but i can not understand how it takes so long on nhs, where when you pay you can find out in a day!

sorry i wewnt away was getting so upset reading all thr posts, i think i have been in denial to as reading the posts isee what ds is really like, hes still my son and i love him loads i relise even more we need help dh is shouting at him all the time as he can not cope but i havesaid dh is not coping with himself as much as ds we know dh is on thespectrum but never done any thing about it,

i want to thank every one whos posted you are all a great helpas i have no where else to turn

hello,
my DS was dx,d AS privately 2.5 yrs ago, it is on his statement but took us 3 tribunals to get it on

the LEA,s HATE private dx,s with a passion,this is because private professionals actually recommend what a child needs not what is within sources available,eg

our private psych recommended for DS that he need a highly specialised school with 1-2-1,small classes of no more than 6,counselling,anger management therapy,help with life/social skills,teacch methods.

after 2 years of him not being in school and the tribunals we got it for him BUT it was only on the strength of the private report.

I dont know where abouts you are in the UK but the psych we had we got details from the NAS,im in the north of england, it is worth getting a private opinion but bearing in mind that the LEA,s will fight it!!!

HTH

jenk am in yorkshire i got the number from NAS to its in bingly we could chose that or nottingham for where we live! could you tell me where you went please i dont care about what the lea thinks

just been to school and his teacher and head says we carnt go for a statement as he dont need it, and she reeled of things ds as done and when we got out side ds said i dont think i did those things mummy i said you must have hes not wrong usaly is she making it up or got him confussed with some one else,

trace - I think, if it is anything like my DS's teacher last year, they don't want to look like they are failing. They have got your DS to a certain standard but they aren't interested in whether or not he is reaching his potential so they big up the positive and talk down the negative.

I don't think your DS is lying. Most children are more likely to take credit for things they haven't done than admit to not having done things others say they have. Especially AS children who have a natural sense of justice - fairness is very important to them.

Did you say that he had been verbally dx'ed?

yes by the comuntity pead only with him 5 mins and asked us question and said yes i think your ds as asperger but he deals with under 5s

Sorry, I didn't word that very well.

I meant did you tell the teachers that had a verbal dx?

Trace, we were also told we couldnt get a dx with either of hem- at the time ds3 wasnt even talking! Some schools just dont like statements- it flags on ofsted reports etc.

Look at ipsea, see if you think he needs one and go from there. Ignore the school, I did. DS1 gets 1-1 for 10 hrs a week, ds3 gets 16 hours plus the school make up to full time (because, er, he didnt need it right? pmsl)

Hope my post didnt upse you Trace, it can be a hard time

Niecie yes i did tell her

peachy yes it upset me but so does ds as i can not help him he tells me things at bedtime about school and i get so upset as i carnt seem to help him! and all dh is do is shout at him when he needs help

i think you all are fantasic mums and inspiring me to help ds more i hope i cope aswell as you all do ! to make things worse for us dd 15m is being watched for cernt things as shes lots wrong with her and knowing theres two children with sn in the house hursts like hell

can i show you whatwe have wrote down about ds?

of course you can Trace

I know your dd's problem are more complex but ds3's issues hit me like a sledgehammer, being 6 months after ds1's dx. You have to give yourself lots and lots of timre and understand that it is a grief reaction. To an extent the dx is irrelevant: it hits everyone differently, you can't change how youa re affected and you need to go through it. Is your dh's anger possibly a trauma reaction? DH used to get rpetty angry with ds1 too, until he understood that it wasnt a failure of us, it was just- ds1.

That took years, and one nervous breakdown that cost a job, house and more- but not everyone reacts t that extent (or has a boss that is such a shithead)

Niecie, you'd asked if I could describe the sort of 'hurt' when things overload for those of us with an ASD? Nope. Not pain as in burning or headache, no. Really can't describe it. I can end up shaking, or quietly crying, or just completely unable to say a thing, or if people just won't leave me alone, I'll have to scream at them to do so (not violence, just a screamed warning to keep away). I'll also wrench away from anyone who tries to touch me or hold me.

amber you just descrided dh thats what hes like! ok here goes its long and not yet finished please give honest opions.

Early life specific.

Talking very early, especially full sentences.
Counting very well (100+) from age of 2.
Stacking and ordering of items (tins in cupboard, cars in perfect lines).
Standing in corner/gaps between furniture.

Nursery & School specific.

Is he deaf? Reception Class teacher had issues getting Jack to take notice of her. He WAS listening, and taking everything in, he just didn't appear to be.
Wants to do 'Show and Tell' but can't.

On-going issues.

Dislikes change in routine, no matter how small (e.g. 'missing' lunch-box or school slipper issue, dislikes new clothes).
Doesn't like to wear coats.
Plays in small groups (i.e. with two others) but prefers to play with just one friend and will accept being alone if this is not possible. Invited 30 kids to his birthday party but played with just one. Also has problems with his peers, prefers the company and interaction of adults or younger (by three to four years or more) children.
Paddy-ing ? not naughtiness or determination to get his own way, rather to avoid change.
Literal-minded issues. If told to 'Wait a minute' will sit and count to sixty and then repeat the request maintaining that a minute has passed.
Food ? very limited diet (sausages, fish fingers, turkey shapes, chips, bread, biscuits) and drinking (apple juice, cola, lemonade) habits. Unwilling to try new foods or drinks, even small amounts.
Dislikes hands being dirty or sticky (when baking will insist on constant wiping/washing if involved in mixing ingredients).
'Flapping' when worried or stressed.
Comfort in the familiar (watches the same DVDs and TV programmes time and again).
Hates clothing labels.
Cannot walk anywhere ? has to bounce, jump or hop.
Lacks true empathy (expresses feelings of sorrow when someone is ill/upset but doesn't act on the feelings).
Obsessed by numbers (comparison of Top Trumps cards, constant monitoring of speed limits and vehicle speed, reading of road signs for distances and road numbers).
Dislikes shouting and loud noises (claims to be scared) but shouts and makes loud noises even when told to stop (doesn't realise he's doing it?).
Collections ? has to have a complete set of something when interested in it (i.e. Mr Men, Horrid Henry, Astrosaurs, DVD film series, Thomas the Tank Engine toys).
Develops new fears from time to time (being in a room alone is most recent) or 're-discovers' fears that were conquered (fear of the dark and heights).
Dislikes being questioned and refuses to answer or acknowledge the enquiry.
Perceived anti-social behaviour (failure to greet new people or even familiar people who enter a room, inability to make or maintain eye contact).
Tics ? Grunting under breath when unsettled, growling when angry.
Things have to be for a boy or for a girl (e.g. songs by men are for men, pink items are for girls, football is for men, flowers and gardens are for girls), middle ground (i.e. yellow clothing) can be confusing.
Hides behind (and grabs legs etc.) Mum/Dad when uncomfortable in situations.
Happy to allow someone to cut his hair (particularly women) but HATES having his hair combed, styled or washed.
Very good reader (even of difficult subject matter).
Doesn't know when to stop (continues a behavioural pattern despite being instructed to stop, sometimes doesn't realise he's continued to do the action).
Gets 'in your face' literally.
Refuses to accept praise (thinks he isn't a good reader) but constantly seeks praise or reassurance.
Cannot admit to having enjoyed something or had fun.
Rarely gets excited about future events or helps plan them claiming 'I don't mind' or 'I'm not bothered.'
Would happily play DS or computer all day and no-one would hear from him.
Spur of the moment events cause problems (e.g. a trip to Meadowhall has to be mentioned in the morning before school so that Jack is prepared for it after school).
'Forgets' he needs the toilet or ignores the urge to go.
Rhyming ? enjoys rhyming words (e.g. cat, hat, bat etc.) but also creates his own nonsense rhymes (e.g. announcing 'I'm not sitting on the settee, I'm sitting on the pettee, fettee, lettee).
Intense anger. Allows feelings to build up under the surface for a long time before frustration is eventually vented in a fashion that appears totally out of proportion with the event that caused the outburst.
Talks to himself a lot.

Trace, thatss fantastic- you describe him really well.

so do i need to put an extras in like when things happened and the out come not just the facts we have put? thank you peachy, does ds sound like he as AS?

there are some signs of as yes but only a paed could tell you after meeting ds, or other qualified person. almost everyone you meet has some traits anyway.

case tudies might be good of specific events- but you will need to chat with your professional so they will ask for what they need

my sil went private and they said what the hospital said, her son is now 4 nd been diagnosed

Trace, your ds sounds a lot like mine, who has Aspergers.

And mine, who is dx autism.

Good luck with the dx. And in the meantime, remember that strategies which work for children on the spectrum mostly don't do other children any harm! So read up - there's so much info out there, and then you don't feel like you're waiting for the dx to be able to do something.

He sounds text book AS to me trace. But as Peachy says it would take a psych meeting him to know for sure. I think there are things in that list that are behaviours that only a child on the spectrum would do. If you google on hand flapping for example, (and I have many times) all you get are references to ASDs

A lot of the things are normal but it is a question of how often he does something which is where the expertise of the psychs come into it.

I don't know if you are looking for more ideas for the list but you don't mention (I don't think) imaginative play. AS children aren't necessarily without imagination but they tend to base their imaginative ideas on what they already know rather than thinking up novel ideas for play. How does your son play?

I think you are doing a great job, trace. I bet your DS would be very proud of you if he fully understood what you are doing for him.

thank you once again, we are learning more every day how to cope with him, like how we talk to him howwe handeldiffrent situations and so on,

Niecie he does not do imaginative play i thought we had put this, never and when i do now with dd like i pick her dolly up and put a bottle to its mouth he just laughts at me and says mum its a doll! and when he plays with trains or cars he only does what he knows they do, do i make sence?

LeonieD wow that was quick! but like you said i think the area where you live makes a diffrence.

id like to add my sil and her sons diagnosis also took less than a yr , he is now in a school that deals with special needs .
Hope u get sorted soon

thank you kat