sorry but I have to say it. where do all the stirres come from

[2shoes]

I seem to have spent the last week argueing the toss with trouble makers who insist on their right to use words even if they cause offence.
I can post and moan in here as this is my "home"
surely it is easy not to use words like midget, spaz, mong or even stupid if you are told they cause offence.
(sorry I soooooo needed to moan)

It's perfectly possible. It's called having consideration for other people's feelings, for crying out loud (exasperation at them not you).
I accidentally put my foot in it loads of times. But if someone categorically comes out and says that something upsets them, I do my best to remember not to say or do it.

I have always found use of those terms deeply offensive, even since I was at school and certainly well before having my own child with SEN. I've never understood how people think it's acceptable to thoughtlessly use words which might cause others such distress. I guess all we can do is educate our own children, and even some adults when the situation arises.

I do know what you mean and try not to do it myself, but I do have a very bad habit of saying 'oh my god' to vicars, and then having a david brent basil fawlty moment of sheer cringeworthiness...

that said - a lot of people just don't understand the etymology of the words, and so have no idea at all why they might cause distress to some sections of the community...

I tend to smile knowingly and educate them in an 'honestly i'm not patronising you but do you know where the word x comes from?' tone of voice, preferably followed by introducing dd2.

or i get cross, spit 'ignorant cow' and cross the road.

not that i'm implying that anything bovine is necessarily...

It drives me mad particularly adults who understand the potential offence of misusing words. Kids call ds stupid which upsets me (and him) too!

Adults who continue to use words that they have been categorically told cause upset and offense, are usually attention-seeking or lack emotional intellligence.

The "it's a free country, I can say what I like" brigade annoy me.

Of course you can say anything you like, but as an adult you need to accept that there are some things you shouldn't say.

We sometimes have to put up with comments re dyslexia equalling stupidity, but that is a walk in the park compared to what some parents of children with other SN have to endure.

I think you ladies show immense grace under fire.

2shoes, sadly there are a lot of ignoramuses out there.

In many ways people with disabilities have been overlooked in terms of language/everyday speech - there has been a greater emphasis on racial, religious etc terminology but more needs to be done with regard to the casual denigration of children and adults with special needs of all kinds.

They are usually people who know all about their rights but know bugger all about their responsibilities.

riven and coppertop - yes, that sounds about right!

first time i always assume they dont know and explain, i refuse to expend the energy of being upset unless they use it agaihn or get arsey

but why would i choose to bother myself about people clearly n ot worth my time and energy? because its a good sign they're not

there are loads of nice people in the wrld, i'll just seek them out instead

riven- if you fancy a coffee at cribbs between now and summer hols let me know - i feel confident driving there

he's still tinyn (9lbs) and very coo-able lol

he is weighed (obv has to be followed) on a tuesday am, can manage most other times- bit of a change from before lol!

not liking the car?

I read a book recently and to say it wasn't exactly politically correct is an understatement; English writer, using midget retard etc. I cant believe that someone who is obviously educated can be so bloody ignorant.

There are a lot of people who exert their rights but dont want to know about responsibilities. I cant be bothered to explain to one more person why you should not use the P word or any of other offensive term. I feel like I'm fighting too many battles for my DS who has SN and is half Asian.

I can not understand it. there seems to be no rules on mn to stop people. I reported the poster who as talking about "murdering" disabled children the other week. Mn hq just said it was her opinion and let it stay
yet UCM got banned for racist stuff!!!!
In rl I find it easier as you can wither with a look or comment back.
harder when it is brats dc's doing it though.

I have seen quite a few racist comments on MN that have not been picked up on/ deleted.

I can only assume they wern't repoted.

let me mention....

People often say "Are you blind/deaf." why didn't you ladies put that in the thread? That could be offensive too, yet loads of people say it.

On the other hand, I've heard loads of people who have visual impairments refer to themselves as "blindos."

It's tough to say waht is/isn't appropriate if the person with the disability refers to himself as such.

You either do one thing or the other.

And should we call people stupid/nutters/weirdos if we don't want them to call people with disabilities these things?

In that case, 2shoes and a lot of others, think about what you say before you type. Call them a fucker or something.

If you want to educate people not to say stupid, nutter, retard, don't call other that online.

And to make myself VERY clear so no one gets excited, I haven't seen any of you call anyone a retard, but nutters and stupid are always used here. I use them too without thinking.

One more thing:

I'm disabled. So please don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've had over 50 years of experience.

If I sound annoyed, btw, it's because I am.

Why, why, WHY can't you just ignore people who make comments online? I'm getting so tired of listening to everyone fighting. Some people won't change, no matter how many bloody times you try to tell them.

I've spent my life with a physical disability. If i argued with every ignorant person I met, I'd be a very sad, cross person. There are plenty of nice people out there. Why do you have to argue with people who won't change??
I have spent most of my life working with people who have disabilities. I'm currently living in the Caribbean. We had 2 girls a few years ago who tried to bring guide dogs to the island. The dogs were turned downed everywhere. One of the girls was a police officer. She was denied access to her job because of her guide dog. They wouldn't let her take it in any of the vehicles, etc. These 2 girls fought so hard to get access to buildings, supermarkets, etc. it burned them out and one of them had to send back her dog. What was the point in fighting all of this? There are so many ignorant people and they won't change overnight.

I'm ranting because I've had enough of this.
I'm having a shit day and all this is making me very

GRRRRRRRR

I haven't slept btw, so I'm exceptionally bitchy

i am sorry you are tired and having a shit day.
but I posted in sn.