If you get respite, how often do you have it?

[Thomcat]

We have just set it up for DD.

At first I wasn't sure. Felt like I was pushing her out, maybe being a bit ott, we could cope fine on our own etc. I initially got in touch with them soon after DD3 was born as it was a bit mad round here and she was great with DD3 but not so good with DD2 so...

Anyway, things at the moment are exhausting. We don't seem to be coping very well with the constant 'no', the screams, bickering, stubborness etc. Our patience is at an all time low and our relationship is being tested.

Think I might need this respite care thing to kick in. I have 2 groups lined up, both offering 3 hours a week which we can use over the weekend. That feels way, way too much. I still want to be with her, just need her to have a break from us really and give her and DD2 a break from each other.

So how often do you have respite?

totally second what thingy said.
I am sure you are entileteld to more help as you have a under 5(my freind got help) and a play sceme comes from a different budget than respite.

Agree with CRH. Go online to your council's webpage and there will be a complaint form for a stage 1 complaint. That's all I had to do for the complaint about the DFG and suddenly I have windows being thrown at me and they're even offering OT. They were helpful in a way that I never seen before.

My friend complained about DPs (she was refused them- her dc is similar to ours, and her dh worked away)- she was then showered with them.

Have a look at the directgov website- lots of info there- I think things like short breaks are becoming a legal responsibility.

Honestly all I did was one email, and then the help started coming.

the playscheme we use in the summer is completely seperate to social services, they have no involvement in at all. Its run by two people who work at dd's special school then they get lots of young and enthusiastic volunteers. Plus its just up the road from me in the next village, couldnt be easier.

I know I should complain to SS I just cant be bothered atm and I know its a cop out but at the child in need meeting I had PND and cried in front of my daughters teacher ffs and I was still refused any more dps or any more help for that matter

We are both seriously considering moving back up closer to family in a few years time because I cannot stand the system down here at all. It wasa completely different story where we moved from. Amazingly the county we live in now must have the most richest people in the country living here yet the services are piss poor

Fio- they don't give a shit about people crying (my friend cried when they said no to dps - the SW remained unmoved) but a one page letter saying basically 'you seem to have no accountability and make up dps on the spot' led to her being showered in them.

I'll write the blinking letter for you. You can have all the chunks cut straight out about rights to appeal after stage 1 etc.

last year I asked for an increase in dd's respite. we get a good amount. BUt I know that if They think I am coping, I will have problems when she is older.
I was turned down flat. I said I wanted to complain. I was going to take it to the top,
well one phone call to the sw(told him a private thing) and we got the increase.
so complaining or at least threatning seems the only way.

We dont get any respite as such but Ds is now old enough (8) to go to a SN club which runs (10 -3) in some holidays and occasionally on a Saturday! Theres fierce competition for places so he has had 3 sessions in 5 months.
Ds enjoys it immensly it gives him some independence and its the first time in years I've been out for lunch with my dh!! I worry it will stop for us once SS start using it more as respite as obviously they have priority (and believe me if SS say yes to respite they deserve every second)! We have only Ds so will never get official respite here! Parental stress/ exhaustion is the lowest priority for respite.
Don't feel guilty about respite for DD1. As long as she ( gets to) enjoys it see it the same way as clubs for other children - time for their own fun.

Re Summer Schemes etc we have access to (paid by the family, but subsidised a little) either 2 weeks at a scheme aimed at children who will find it hard to access schemes due to SEN (and who are on SS register) or they will fund 6 hours per day of a 1-1 worker, and you pay for the scheme. Well, allegedly anyway...... Excuse me if I sound a bit doubtful, as they cancelled the summer scheme last year, as they forgot ro OFSTED (their own!) scheme!! Beyond belief... I don't always have a lot of faith in our local team.

This is in addition to any respite, but the families have to pay for this service.

Sorry - my post was unclear. I mean 'children who will find it hard to access mainstream summer schemes due to their Special needs'. Sorry, was typing quickly.

Get 4 hours a week, but I use it for a play worker to come and take J to clubs instead.

Didn't want respite as in someone's house, don't know why, but wanted him to be able to go to clubs like the other kids, without mummy having to be there.