Is it awful or understandable or just human that I...

[emkana]

... don't really like listening to my friend telling me all the things her dd, who is 4 months younger than ds, can do.

A part of my is pleased for her, but it still stings.

I find it hard to be around other children, especially younger than Ds2. Our whole family went go to a sort of yearly reunion with old university friends and there are about 10 or 11 other kids there around the same age or younger than Ds2. Last time it was really hard, especially seeing Ds1 play with another boy who is almost exactly the same age as Ds2 and wishing that he could play with Ds2 like that. Also seeing Ds2 withdraw into himself when he couldn't keep up with the others. Dh and I found it so hard that we have decided to skip the next meet up (which is quite soon and for us too soon after the last one). We won't never go again because we like to see our friends. I think most people with SN children feel like this - it is inevitable and you shouldn't blame yourself.

Saker - next month we have a meet up with old uni friends, one of whom has kids a bit older and bit younger than DS. am dreading it.

could you politely tell her to fuck off be a bit more sensitive? She most probably doesnt even realise she is doing it. People get so wrapped up in their own children they sometimes forget you have more worries

I do agree with everyonbe else though it does get easier. I even have a few friends with 8 yr old daughters and I dont even think about it. Out of the blue though sometimes it hits you but its soon forgotten

Please don't drop out of social contact just because there are a few tactless people around boasting about how clever and wonderful their children are.

I know this is easier said than done and I've been upset in the past by people's remarks but I just tell myself that these people are just living vicariously through their children/grandchildren and possibly it is because their own lives are missing something. I haven't said this out loud yet but perhaps one day I might snap and do so.

I think this friend lacks tact - I have very vague acquaintances who are still more sensitive than her about telling me what their DC can do which my DS can't. Tell her as nicely as you can that sometimes it's hurtful to hear these updates, or if you can't be arsed to be nice tell her to shut the fxxx up about her boring brat! Actually, I find mums who boast about their kids annoying even in the NF world, as I think a little modesty goes a long way! You are just being human.

In some ways it is a relief to feel outside of the competitive talk (i know some mums who know what spelling group all the kids in the class are in because they made a point of finding out). People I see all the time are great and notice achievements my older sons make, but i do avoid my cousin who has a "gifted and talented" child, he is always interrogating my shy oldest boy about school just so that he can "casually" mention how advanced his son is. I must admit that I do boast a bit about my youngest who is quite bright (and also the size of his feet!), i know it is wrong but find it hard to stop. On a positive note, my DS2 (7 with AS)is never "naughty" in the same way as other boys his age and is easily the best looking boy in his class and I do enjoy feeling a bit smug about that, I'm only human!

I have a young neighbour with two small ones and I love hearing about all their achievements and marvelling at the way they are advancing.
Then again, my ds with SN is nearl eight, so maybe the feelings of unfairness and 'why us?' do go away.
My DS will always be my baby

I met someone once who had a daughter 2 years younger than mine, and who was 2 at the time. After my daughter did something - I think it was bottom shuffle to get a toy - the other little girl copied and did the same. The mother said 'yes, she does that, BUT YOU KNOW BETTER, DON'T YOU?' ! Not explaining my daughter can't walk, or anything like that....

I don't see her now. It was a mutual thing, we just stopped seeing each other. I realised I didn't like her attitude, and she seemed to think CP and epilepsy could be contagious... So, best all round really.

hehe manxmum I was talking to some of my friends outside ds1(nt) school gates. We were talking about having daughters and I said i always wanted all girls but at least my one and only girl (dd, sn) would live with me forever

Seriously though,you can get those stretchy shoe laces that don't need tying if you tire of Velcro.