Hi, I've gone anon for this because it's such a sensitive topic.
DD is almost 11.
She has a significant intellectual disability, other diagnosis too including ASD and global development delay. She is non verbal, in a wheelchair and has the comprehension of a toddler.
She can't really do anything for herself and probably never will.
We feed her, wash her, dress her, brush teeth and hair basically everything you need to do for a baby, we need to do for her.
She will always be in nappies.
She is now going through puberty and started her periods 8 months ago. They are very heavy (her consultant is seeing her in November regarding this but I'm pretty sure we can't do anything to help manage them until she's a bit older, and even then, hormone therapy is something I'd need to think about as I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it.
Not to mention it would consist of depo injections as she can only have medication in liquid form)
Anyway, I'm rambling.
We've spent the last few months shaving her pubic hair (electric razor so no danger) because it it much easier to clean (think pee, poo and period not to mention sudocrem all in one nappy, and a (quite hairy) 11 year old who doesn't particularly like nappy changes)
It's working well, is much easier to keep her clean and fresh but I'm wrecked with, I'm not sure how to explain it, guilt? Shame?
It feels like what I'm doing is inappropriate and I fear judgement from her SNA's at school (they obviously change her at her high needs special school)
I don't shave her anywhere else, why would I? It's not like she has any idea if her legs are hairy or not but I can't help just feeling like I'm doing something wrong every time I do it (usually just before her period is due)
I suppose I'm looking for someone to tell me that I'm doing the right thing by her.
Please be gentle, I'm so sensitive about this but I just want to make things as easy as I can for her.
Thank you.