7 month old - ADHD / ASD

[Kstar7]

I know this sounds like another post from first time mum with a health anxiety, but I am getting seriously concerned about my 7 month old DS and would appreciate any advice / input from other mums who might have experience with this.

DS was born 10 days overdue, traumatic vacuum delivery. I suffered with some anxiety during pregnancy - in fact i have suffered with anxiety most of my life, which I now deeply suspect is actually related to undiagnosed ADHD, and i have booked a private assessment for myself.

The last 7 months have been very difficult, we initially experienced a lot of feeding issues, trapped wind and painful tummy, very bad sleep from very beginning. I was hoping things would improve, but in fact they seem to be getting worse.

DS seems really unsettled most of the time and like he cannot relax. He never stays still and is always squirming and moving around. When i put him on his back, he immediately rolls onto his tummy and is pivoting on the floor, like a Duracell bunny that just can't stop. He will play with some toys but almost immediately will try to move to something new and does not stay engaged with anything for long.

He does not want to cuddle or show any physical affection, if i try to cuddle him, he will arch his back and try to get away.

After few minutes in his high chair he also arches his back and wants to go down, he looks around all the time and will rarely focus on me / food.

I stopped taking him to any baby groups / cafes etc as he just cannot stay still, and will complain after few minutes in his pram / highchair, or after squirming on the floor for a while he will go into meltdown mode. He will not sit on my lap.

When i take him on walks in the pram, he usually puts his legs over the handle bars and always figets and after 20 min or so starts crying and wants to get out of the pram.

He is making a lot of unhappy grunting / moaning sounds throughout the day, sometimes i am not sure why.

He seems to get frustrated easily and usually cries / grunts when i change his nappy or clothes. Despite us doing various gentle sleep training methods and working a lot on his sleep, he will usually cry for naps / bedtime, and often wakes at night crying.

He is very sensory seeking and always sucks on something, like his own clothes, toys, furniture, my hair.

I am trying to show him as much love as possible, i talk to him in calm voice, play with him, sing to him, carry him, and in general try to be as affectionate as he will allow me, to try and help him relax. We have a calming bedtime routine, with a bath together and a gentle massage, but nothing seems to work, and he seems to be so restless and crying more and more recently.

This is really heartbreaking for me, I love my DS so much and i just don't know what else i can do to help him? Looking after him is so draining as he just never stops and seems unhappy to stay still at all. We tried few sessions of cranial osteo and chiro but it didn't seem to make any difference.

Has anyone else experienced this? I am worried as i feel there are some strong indicators of potential ADHD / ASD, and he is still such as a small baby, so I worry how bad can this get in few years? Is he more likely to be a severe case considering he seems so dysregulated already?

I understand most suspected ADHD cases are flagged much later in nursery / school age, so it makes me so worried that this is happening so early on. I want to help him as much as I can, are there any early interventions / techniques or anything else at all that i can do to help my baby be more relaxed and regulated? I have not yet contacted health visitor as i suspect they will be dismissive, but i might do.

I would appreciate any input or words of wisdom as i'm seriously struggling with this situation and my mental health is now rock bottom.

If you are concerned you should speak to the HV &/or GP. You won’t get anyone to even think about ADHD at 7 months though. You could also look at the Ages and Stages Questionnaires. Some of what you describe can be normal. Does DS have reflux?

My 9mo is constantly on the move, and has been since he physically could - he loves it!

Have you had your LO checked for reflux? It could explain being generally unsettled and the arching (as this is usually due to trying to find a more comfortable position).

Both my children have had terrible reflux as babies!

I think you're describing a typical 7 month old who is struggling with wind or reflux. Many babies this age are not really relaxed or regulated! (Though they should not be in pain.) They cry a lot. They wriggle constantly so they can learn how to move. They don't sleep through. They are very sensory seeking. The mouthing you describe would be atypical in a 4 year old but is absolutely normal in a 7 month old. It would be more concerning if he wasn't mouthing objects. He's not expected to engage with toys for more than a few seconds.

In short, if you were describing a 2 year old, yes, some things would be concerning. But your son is 7 months. The reason ASD is often suspected during nursery is because many of the skills that are delayed or absent aren't expected to emerge until 18 months plus.

I think you should get your baby checked for reflux and yourself checked for postnatal depression and anxiety. Not because I think you're seeing things but because you sound really low and like you are isolating yourself. It shouldn't be a problem for him to be wriggling on the floor at baby sensory or rhyme time.

Thanks for replying. DS does not have reflux, all his tummy issues cleared around 3 months and no signs at all of reflux. I'll contact HV.

DS does not have reflux. I expect babies to be active and on the move, DS just seems hyperactive 100% of the time, and unable to relax or calm down.

Thanks for your insightful post. DS does not have reflux though. No signs plus we checked with GP.

It worries me that he grunts / cries so much and cannot remain still even for 30 seconds and is so relentless.

I'm exhausted and feel like my head is underwater and I can't carch a breath. Looking at other babies I can clearly tell how different my DS is and this seems to get worse every day. I don't want to isolate myself - for example in baby groups I'm happy for him to wriggle on the floor, but this is followed by frustrated grunting and then crying / screaming. I'm fed up of people saying "oh, is he hungry/ tired?". No, he's like this all the time (I want to say yo them, but don't).

Glad your LO doesn't have reflux!

My DD has ASD and ?ADHD and we only noticed sensory sensitivies before 1 yo. The hyperactivity was more obvious for us around 1.5-2yo. But ever child is different. Good luck!

If he is genuinely crying/grunting all the time, you need to take him to be checked because the most likely cause is physical. Did you start weaning him at 6 months? It's very normal to get some digestive discomfort then as their bodies learn to cope with food. He may have an allergy or intolerance to something.

If you take your 7 month old to the drs saying you think he's autistic or has ADHD, you'll be told it's impossible to tell so young. So go with an open mind, a detailed diary of the crying/discomfort over a week, and videos of the grunting.

I do know how distressing it can be when a baby is in pain that you can't help. My second child got the most awful trapped wind at night until about 16 months. She'd scream for hours until it moved. It was exhausting, but it was just wind and did resolve after that.

Please do seek medical advice about your own mental health. I believe you when you say you're exhausted. Do you have a partner? Can family or friends watch the baby while you rest or do something for yourself?

In a way I wish it was reflux, as it would be better than the alternative I'm worried about, if you know what I mean...

I know all children are different, but if you don't mind me asking, how is your DD doing now?

Yes, we started weaning and he seems to enjoy food most of the time. His grunting / crying started way before weaning, so don't think this us related. He just seems frustrated rather than in pain, if that makes sense.

I have a very supportive DP and I'm trying to look after my mental health but it honestly is the most stressful time of my life and seeing my DS struggle is one of the main factors. I hope I can get stronger and prepare mentally for whatever might come. But I'm not there yet.

Of course I don't mind you asking...

DD is 6 now, and has sensory issues. She is verbal and very clever. Her struggles are more emotional / social, and if routines change. Every day is different, some days she copes better than others.

I think it’s a bit too early yet to be worrying about ASD and certainly too early for ADHD. Some of what you describe sounds normal for some babies, they want to be on the move but can’t yet, but it sounds like more of a physical issue to me. The arching the back/poor sleep/grunting… have you considered milk allergy or some other intolerance?

I bet if my sister in law read this she would say her daughter was the EXACT same. Honestly he sounds exactly like my niece was as a baby, she made life very difficult for my brother and SIL. She was a very, very hard baby and nothing made her happy.

Anyway without going in to too much detail, my SIL worried like mad but she is now a happy, healthy and very neurotypical toddler. She chats away to you, plays lovely, goes to nursery happily and those days are a distant memory for my brother and SIL.

I would be going back to the GP for a second opinion on the reflux and also because if the signs you describe aren’t reflux, constipation or some other stomach or bowel condition, there may be another physical cause.

To be honest he's been the same on breast milk and various types of formula that we tried, haven't noticed any link to milk / allergy, but who knows... I will have to look into it a bit more

Thanks for this. Happy to hear it worked out for them. I sure do hope my boy will turn out to be one of those "happy kids who hated being babies"...

You wouldn’t be able to rule out an allergen by breastfeeding unless you excluded the item from your diet (which you shouldn’t do without speaking to a HCP about it first).

You could be describing my 5 month old! He’s groaning and grunting all the time, so so squirmy! He does have multiple allergies suspected through my breast milk though as he had blood in his poo, but that’s settled now with a nearly total elimination diet. That said I also suspect he is autistic, his older brother is. I knew my eldest was autistic from 6 months, but I saw signs before. He’s very clever and verbal aged nearly 3, but we have challenges with his behaviour. Yes they can’t diagnose until later but as a mother I truly believe and have heard many say they knew early on. That said, this does not mean your baby is autistic. However the hardest part is waiting to see how they develop as they start to go through different milestones. Of course you’re anxious, all mothers just want their children to have as few challenges in life as possible. It’s natural to feel worried. I’m here any time if you want to chat x

Thanks for your post! My strong gut feeling is that even if there was any milk allergy at play here, there is definitely more going on and my DS is far from typical. His behaviour and how he interacts / communicates is moving away from "the norm" every day and I'm just heartbroken. As you said for now all I can do is just watch his development as he's so small still, but I can't help but obsess over how bad things will get :(

Hi just wondering how your LO is doing? Have similar concerns x

Hi, sorry to hear you have concerns about your child. How are they doing?

Sorry for the delay in responding, I've actually stopped going on Mumsnet for my own mental health.

My son is now 10 months old. I'm still concerned and life continues to be very hard. He is delayed across communication milestones and HV wants to see him again before he turns 1. Still extremely restless and fidgety. I'm in the process of doing occupational therapy assessment for sensory processing issues. OT came to the house and noted a number of sensory issues, but they want to come back again after Christmas before writing a raport.

Trust your own instinct as a mother, I knew my son has issues from very early on, and is not developing "normally". Not sure how much help I'll be able to get for him, but I have to try. Good luck to you.

Hi,

Just wanted to check how your little one is doing, similar concern for my 8 month old son xx

how are you and your little one doing now? My 7 month old is exactly how you described. I hope you’re both doing ok.