7 month old - ADHD / ASD

[Kstar7]

I know this sounds like another post from first time mum with a health anxiety, but I am getting seriously concerned about my 7 month old DS and would appreciate any advice / input from other mums who might have experience with this.

DS was born 10 days overdue, traumatic vacuum delivery. I suffered with some anxiety during pregnancy - in fact i have suffered with anxiety most of my life, which I now deeply suspect is actually related to undiagnosed ADHD, and i have booked a private assessment for myself.

The last 7 months have been very difficult, we initially experienced a lot of feeding issues, trapped wind and painful tummy, very bad sleep from very beginning. I was hoping things would improve, but in fact they seem to be getting worse.

DS seems really unsettled most of the time and like he cannot relax. He never stays still and is always squirming and moving around. When i put him on his back, he immediately rolls onto his tummy and is pivoting on the floor, like a Duracell bunny that just can't stop. He will play with some toys but almost immediately will try to move to something new and does not stay engaged with anything for long.

He does not want to cuddle or show any physical affection, if i try to cuddle him, he will arch his back and try to get away.

After few minutes in his high chair he also arches his back and wants to go down, he looks around all the time and will rarely focus on me / food.

I stopped taking him to any baby groups / cafes etc as he just cannot stay still, and will complain after few minutes in his pram / highchair, or after squirming on the floor for a while he will go into meltdown mode. He will not sit on my lap.

When i take him on walks in the pram, he usually puts his legs over the handle bars and always figets and after 20 min or so starts crying and wants to get out of the pram.

He is making a lot of unhappy grunting / moaning sounds throughout the day, sometimes i am not sure why.

He seems to get frustrated easily and usually cries / grunts when i change his nappy or clothes. Despite us doing various gentle sleep training methods and working a lot on his sleep, he will usually cry for naps / bedtime, and often wakes at night crying.

He is very sensory seeking and always sucks on something, like his own clothes, toys, furniture, my hair.

I am trying to show him as much love as possible, i talk to him in calm voice, play with him, sing to him, carry him, and in general try to be as affectionate as he will allow me, to try and help him relax. We have a calming bedtime routine, with a bath together and a gentle massage, but nothing seems to work, and he seems to be so restless and crying more and more recently.

This is really heartbreaking for me, I love my DS so much and i just don't know what else i can do to help him? Looking after him is so draining as he just never stops and seems unhappy to stay still at all. We tried few sessions of cranial osteo and chiro but it didn't seem to make any difference.

Has anyone else experienced this? I am worried as i feel there are some strong indicators of potential ADHD / ASD, and he is still such as a small baby, so I worry how bad can this get in few years? Is he more likely to be a severe case considering he seems so dysregulated already?

I understand most suspected ADHD cases are flagged much later in nursery / school age, so it makes me so worried that this is happening so early on. I want to help him as much as I can, are there any early interventions / techniques or anything else at all that i can do to help my baby be more relaxed and regulated? I have not yet contacted health visitor as i suspect they will be dismissive, but i might do.

I would appreciate any input or words of wisdom as i'm seriously struggling with this situation and my mental health is now rock bottom.

I noticed some comments, apologies for late response to those who asked.

My DS is almost 2.5 years old now. What I can say is that he is an amazing little boy. He speaks really well for his age, is very curious, imaginative and friendly - he loves other children! He also now is more intrested in us, his parents. He'll often come and say "mummy come play toys with me". He shows kindness and often shares toys or snacks with others. He recognizes how others feel and seeks to comfort others when they are sad. We recently started potty training and he's making good progress. He loves nursery.

However. He is still a very intense "high needs" child. Just as he was at 7 months old. Always on the go, unable to sit still, really poor attention span. I am amazed when i see children his age that can sit and draw or play in a highchair in a restaurant. He would never. He would walk around touching everything and pushing furniture etc. He hates being contained and always wants to escape from wherever we are. Always more intrested in his environment than the activity itself, rather than play in a sandpit he will try to scale a fence around it. People say that all toddlers do that, but it's not true. If your child runs around for a few hours but then can sit and do some arts and crafts for 10 min, or play quietly in one spot doing one activity, then it's not the same. My son can't "switch off", constantly jumping between activities and is very sensory seeking. He struggles with transitions. We've had some private consultations and accept he might likely be ND. I now know I have ADHD and ASD.

It's still difficult but life is so much easier than it was at 7 months old. It was such a dark time in my life and i'm still grieving my experience of motherhood, in a way. He was such a hard baby, obsessed with movement. I couldn't sit down holding him, always had to walk around holding him, bouncing. He needed to be facing out. He cried so much. Everything was a struggle, everything. I now see this as signs of dysregulated nervours system and sensory issues.

I'd say trust yourself and don't let others minimise your struggle or make you out to be "just an anxious mum" as so many people did to me. Do all you can to survive, get help, don't feel you need to attend "normal" baby/toddler activities if it makes you feel bad. I stopped going as my son was so different and it just made me feel so lonely and neither of us enjoyed it.

It's not an easy ride but my God i'm doing so much better now than when i first wrote this post. And my son, despite his challenges, is doing so well, he's clever, funny, loving and happy! He's doing so much better than i thought possible even a year ago.