For anbody interested, more thoughts by Julia Hollander

[emkana]

www.motherstory.co.uk/2008/03/

Hi 2shoes.Thanks for the comment.I used to get annoyed when parents gave up their children for fostering and the local ss would advertise for a foster carer and the advert would say Weekend and holiday respite guaranteed I know why,that they were trying to avoid costly residential places.Also I met a foster mum recently and she said she was shocked that the ss offered to put in an extra bedroom on the ground floor and bathroom immediatley.She said she said to ss what about the poor birth parents.Our son is almost 20 and we are still waiting,just cannot get him up the stairs at all.Anyway I think things are going to change for younger parents,I can see a big difference in just a few years,its much better

Chonky please do not worry so much,I know you cant help it.You hear such horror stories,it hasnt been like that and it won`t be like that for you.They are inspected and regularly,also there is a lot of emphasis on individual dignity.Our son is very highly strung and cannot cope with change,he is doing fine,and so will you.It does get easier,believe me.A lot of the pain took many many years to diminish and then I really started to enjoy my son,also to see how much pleasure other people got from my son,that meant so much.Your dd will be the same.She musthave brought so much joy into this world already,and it is lovely to see the Carers in Adult Services really enjoying the time spent with the adults.It does give you strength.You are at such an early stage,and poor JH,she so needed the help,and of course she has to justify everything now,but she would have triumphed.Our kids are so so unique,and inspiring,and our ds gets much more interesting.There was a pmld man of about 60 in the adult respite home,and when they said to him,we are taking you to visit your mum soon ( she was in hospital,she must have been very elderly)the way his face lit up and beamed,I will never forget it.He really knew his mums love,it was so touching.

we were lucky and were in the right place at the right time. we lived in our own house. but as it was terraced 2 bed. there was no way to adapt it. we were only on the list for a year and got our H.A house which has disbled acces. we have had to have stuff odne like hoists and a upstair shower. also stragely the front door was a nightmare to get dd's powered wheel chair over!!
Round here parents seem to get adaptions done. but there is a severe shortage of property that has been built for disabled people. which is crazy considering the amout of building taking place.