Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

For anbody interested, more thoughts by Julia Hollander

128 replies

emkana · 27/03/2008 23:34

www.motherstory.co.uk/2008/03/

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/03/2008 20:35

Being a sad excuse for a person is irrespective of class.

oops · 29/03/2008 20:47

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 30/03/2008 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 30/03/2008 11:59

having read her blog and other stuff. I find it very odd that there is no mention of where the money from the book is going.
it may not be a lot but would be interesting as if it is going to Immie then maybe I can accept this biased book.

chonky · 30/03/2008 12:22

She really is insufferable. It annoys the hell out of me that she uses money as a reason for not keeping Immie. Surely with an Oxbridge degree and a poncey job she could (if she chose to) earn enough to employ carers or a nanny into her home.

Oops - sorry, I forgot, that would cost in the region of £30K gross salary. Just think of the cut-backs she's have to make on her Mini Boden orders.

FioFio · 30/03/2008 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 30/03/2008 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

yurt1 · 31/03/2008 21:25

She's replied to you riven.

It looks as if she's not going to allow my comments to be seen. Perhaps she will but she's replied to 'Shirley' so she's been on her website but my comment is still 'awaiting moderation'.

So it's here:

Louise Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation. 
March 29th, 2008 at 10:08 pm


It?s very unfair to suggest that families just accept their lot and therefore allow the dreadful state of affairs to continue.

My son is profoundly disabled and over the years I have written to MPs and counsellors, I have demanded a properly written statement, I currently have a complaint in against our local authority. My friend?s with disabled children are all the same. 
One thing I have learned over the years is to choose my battles. Fighting takes time away from my family. Usually armed with the facts I can get some sort of result, but sometimes it?s not worth the time taken and energy it take. I will now go hell for leather for a battle I think worthwhile, one that will make a difference to us. But I leave others and instead spend that time enjoying my son and his siblings.


Saying: ?Why don?t they use their parental rights (which are very solid in law) to force the system into helping them?? is not particularly helpful. It?s too vague. Which parental rights? Parental rights for what? Share them on here if you want to help. Tell us which parental rights we can use to force action. Save us having to search for them. 
Most people can?t afford access to solicitors. If we have parental rights we don?t know about we need to be told them.

Parents are ?letting them get away with it? because we can?t be bothered to battle for every little thing - especially when we?ve done it for years. This doesn?t actually mean we?ve given up, or we?ve not taken on the cause, it means we have some balance in our lives. People who spend their whole time on a cause become very dull.

I have to agree with Shirley I don?t think you really understand the complexities of fitting in fighting with all the day to day caring (and working- the majority of parents at my son?s SLD/PMLD school work as do I). 


Families don?t parent a disabled child in isolation, they do it around the rest of their (usually full and active) life. Sometimes we?re too busy enjoying ourselves to start some battle just for the sake of it. After a day of working caring for my disabled child and his siblings I find a glass of red wine over dinner with my husband more useful for my health and happiness.

yurt1 · 31/03/2008 21:25

oh some weird formatting thing going on.

sarah293 · 01/04/2008 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 01/04/2008 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

yurt1 · 01/04/2008 10:12

Are you not being moderated at all riven?

KarenThirl · 01/04/2008 10:31

Fab post, yurt. You've described how you've made your life natural regardless of how difficult it is, and shown how much you gain from having disability in your life. You've highlighted the pleasures that JH is missing out on by not having her daughter as part of her immediate family. And not a flicker of 'how great am I for doing it' either, which I hope she sees!

Villette · 01/04/2008 10:38

I think Yurt's post definately should be included in the book that's being put together. It was moving without being mawkish and Yurt puts into words the attitude of many mothers I've met who care for profoundly disabled children.

sarah293 · 01/04/2008 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

yurt1 · 01/04/2008 17:00

It's been posted and replied to ......

FioFio · 01/04/2008 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 01/04/2008 17:24

well? does itseem different once you have read it?

FioFio · 01/04/2008 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wannaBe · 01/04/2008 17:31

did you pay money for it?

and... now that you've read it, has your view changed in any way?

FioFio · 01/04/2008 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jenk1 · 01/04/2008 18:11

The woman is vile.
i too had a well paid job before i had DS, i gave it up, i figured that i had travelled enough and been fortunate in a job i loved but my son came first, although he isnt as severely disabled as immie, he is extremely challenging, and then i had dd who is classed as severely disabled but i love the pair of them so much and will continue to fight for them.

Parental-rights? where? please direct me to them ms hollander cos im very interested.

FioFio · 01/04/2008 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 01/04/2008 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 01/04/2008 18:23

I have to say taht the one thing this woman seems to forget is
LOVE