Julia Hollander responds

[emkana]

www.motherstory.co.uk/?cat=9

She's just another one of these people who don't want to be 'judged' unless the judgement is glowing and positive. Time to grow up...

I think it is really hard for parents of kids with SN to mix as often they come from a wide geographical area so there is no schoolgate mentality which is vital for creating a sense of community and solidarity.

More energy and money needs to be put into developing this,for example, making sure every school has a parents' room with resources,regular get togethers (for courses,resource making and so on. Aside from anything else,it would save public services a tonne of money in the long term as parents could provide each other with the support they need instaed of seeking all of it frome harassed and overstretched workers.

In my work as a SALT I notice that althoguh many people won't necessarily access my help, they just want to feel cared for and not ignored. i have quite a few families where just a cheeety phone call every month or so to 'touch base' is enough. We catch up, I remind them where I am if they need me and we are all happy and up to date. But, if I didn't do this,I bet the first thing to come up in a review would be something along the lines of
'We never get SALT of hear from them from one year to the next'

MD, apparently Newport LEA is trying to set up an internet SEN forum- wehad a card through. How long do you think it will last before they cotton on it strengthens parents claims, not takes the pressure off the LEA?

"that dysfunctional single parenting tends not to benefit children"

really???

Foster aprents- the ones I know do very much see it as a job, and wouldn't do it otherwise, brilliant though they are. However some of the things they have to do- !. Depending on who they work for, some have to apply to their managers to be able to spend a penny of the DLA the child gets, even if its on nappies or cartons of special food- whats that about?

ok ..dysfunctional parenting of any kind is bad...

i still think that what the family has gone through is awful, but to write a book stating that you wanted to smash your childs head on a wall is alos awful.

The less coverage of this the better.

It has to happen Peachy and fast.At the moment, these people (and don't forget,I am part of the 'system') lurch from crisis to crisis, making it all up as they go along,'giving in' to the mouthy ones,ignoring the more vulnerable ones and hoping that everynoe just gets tired of it all and fucks off.

The Internet is making SUCH a difference, it really is,they are realizing that at the touch of a button,people can access the info and support they need.

I don't think any of it is done deliberately, it is due to the fact that those of us at the coalface have huge caseloads and just about manage them without any major upset. There is never any time to look at operating in a way that is proactive as opposed to reactive UNLESS someone comes along and makes such a fuss that they have no choice but to plan an overhaul.

I tell people (parents and staff) quite openly that there is no way that I can provide anything like the service their pupils/children need but what i do tell them is that there is no point moaning about it to me or other parents.

You have to go for the jugular staright away.
Letter to Chief Exec. copied in to all and sundry (even if ccs not sent)
If still not satisfid you go t Ombudsman or ask for an Indpenedent Review.Sll of this stuff is easy and detailed in complaints procedure of SS or nHS.

Afraid that moondog is right.

The service you get is rarely based on need and usually on things like:

This person knows the councillor.

Lives next door to the MP.

Set a rather nasty solicitor on to us.

Complained to the Ombudsman.

The needs of the child are in there no where.

Also when a child is in care they will automatically cue jump for any services that are out there.

I wonder sometimes how legal all this is and if there is not the basis to take a test case forwards.

I was sat between 2 FCs (with dfcs similar in need to my ds) at a meeting. It was quite an eye opening and we only discussed a couple of things! (I have a sil who is a FC so also know how poor the support for FC can be) There is a huge difference in the levels of support in our county!! They were very helpful!! (Magso will start by going to gp to ask for prescription for big nappies/ waterproof bedding and filling out DLA forms. You are right about knowing what and who to get help from! Perhaps we need a referance section on here!

I also know several very lovely people who foster children who to all intents and purposes are thier own but they won't go the final step and adopt as then they will not receive the extra financial support that allows them a decent quality of life, and quite rightly so.

Maybe we should all nominally foster our children to each other???

Really good idea magso - I've gleaned so much useful info from here. Getting some of the practicalities sorted does help.

"Looking after such children is not a job for one person,". but Tania is one person, is she not? Not only that, from reading Tania's blog it is apparent that she has not one, but two severely disabled children. or am I missing something?

moondog was wondering if I could pick your brain - could you email me? [email protected]

kinda proves her writing a book. wasnt s smart move

me too Km...yet other dc was left in their care

she doesn't make sense anyway- somewhere she says it's impossible for mothers to work with profoundly disabled children elsewhere she says that Tania gets enough allowances to not have to work and so she doesn't have to seek a job like JH would have (although I would presume Tania's income is somewhat less than JH's.

This whole "going to kill the child" thing sounds a bit coached to me.

In the past I have advised people the key phrases to use when trying to get a service, things like making professionals think a child is at risk are a key route in.

When a SW thinks they might have to explain why they didn't do something to a coroners officer they really come out of their corner.

Mot always though, I have also helped someone who was accused of physically assaulting a child where part of the "evidence" was the fact they had been telling everyone they could not cope for weeks.

The sort of strange things that go on when you get the child protection team on the plot.

I agree FioFio. JH comes across as very status and money obsessed. When she discusses Women's Hour she makes a point of describing herself as "middleclass", she says it's all right for David Cameron to look after his disabled child as he has £50,000 a year ( I don't know where she plucked this figure from ) and she says most families with disabled children are living in poverty. I gave up my job to care for my son and I suppose that we are poor in that we don't have a second car or plasma TV but I really couldn't give a .

Some people on this site have said that they are friends with JH and I do feel that some friendly advice would be for her to start taking a lower profile as the more she says the more she seems to antagonise people.

Taliesintraction can you ezplain something to me please.
if she told them her child was in "danger" why was the other child left in her care?

Shame her zeal didn't extend to fighting for help to keep her.

I can't come up with any sympathy for the mother. I just can't.

She wriotes like she is justifying what she did. Nothing can. She gave her child away. End of.

I find that one hard to understand as well 2shoes. Why did ss not come round to assess the wellbeing of the other child too? If Immie had been nt and JH had said she wanted to kill her then wouldn't both children have been taken into care? so why is it different because Immie has a disability?