DS(8) has autism. He is very quick to anger and this has resulted in him harming his younger brother (3). Today I left them alone for 2 minutes to go to the toilet, and in that time Ds8 slapped his brother incredibly hard around the face because "he was annoying me".
How the fuck do we deal with this!!
I immediately removed DS8 from the room (sat on the stairs). I comforted DS3 and made sure he was OK. I stayed with him while DS8 had time out, during which he was crying, shouting and spitting as he didn't want to be on the stairs. I explained in calm, measured tones that his behaviour was unacceptable and tbst I was very disappointed etc.
This is becoming far too common an occurance. He has held him under duvets and pillows, pushed him and I stopped him from jumping on his arm the other day - it would have broken if I hadn't stopped him 😭
This all feels so overwhelming and I am struggling with both disciplining an autistic child, which is pretty pointless but I do it anyway; and with protecting my youngest who is only guilty of being a typical 3 year old.
The thing is, my DS8 is the loveliest, kindest child the majority of the time. When he is angry or thinks he has been wronged, he becomes so violent. Its hard to witness.
We are talking with our GP on Monday but I am so out of my depth here. I have cried so much and don't know what to do to help them both.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
How do you protect the siblings? 😢
Peachyqueen · 12/05/2022 20:07
AReallyUsefulEngine · 12/05/2022 21:37
I thought you had applied for an EHCP? You can’t apply for an EHCNA without applying to the LA. It’s the LA who are responsible for EHCPs.
Behaviour outside of school doesn’t necessarily mean the problem is at home. Many DC mask at school and explode at home due to unmet needs at school. It’s called the coke bottle effect. DS’s tolerance at home could well be none existent if he is using all his energy to ‘cope’ at school. And if his needs at school we’re better met you may find there are less explosions at home.
Peachyqueen · 12/05/2022 20:46
EHCP submitted this week. OT assessment pending, hopefully in September. No social care assessments.
Am not aware of ABC reports or Sibs but will look into it.
It's so difficult when you are literally diagnosed and discharged immediately 😫
jamoncrumpets · 13/05/2022 10:17
We are having a social care assessment for this exact reason, as my DC cannot tolerate their sibling. It's looking likely that we will receive direct payments towards a PA for weekends and after school, and there will be holiday club access during school hols. It's a heartbreaking process to go through but if it leads to a happier and calmer home it has to be worth it.
AReallyUsefulEngine · 13/05/2022 10:57
What a rude poster. I think you find I also answered your question including posting about social care assessments.
AReallyUsefulEngine · 13/05/2022 12:01
I don’t know how you could read any of my first 3 posts as a criticism or how you don’t think they didn’t answer your question. The fourth wasn’t a criticism it was pointing out you didn’t need to wait. And if you perceived that as a criticism I don’t know why you didn’t perceive jamoncrumpets’s second post in the same way as it was saying the same thing.
At the risk of a rude reply again, you didn’t need to wait for a diagnosis for any of the support mentioned. It is all based on needs, not diagnosis.
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