ADHD 7 year old boy

[joroxy27]

Hi this is my first time using this website so I hope I've come to the right place.

my only child has been struggling with his behaviour on and off since he started nursery and it has gotten worse and more often the older he has got. At first i thought maybe it was just phases he would grow out of it but now he is in primary school he needs a lot of support.
He does have his education coordinated by SENCO and they offer him so much support and I couldn't fault them.
He has been on the waiting list with the NHS for an assessment but you know what the waiting list is like its horrific! i decided to go privately so he is having the assessment in May.
Now his behaviour is what i struggle with the most, ill be honest I have no clue what I'm doing or even know how to help him. I've looked into parenting classes etc but there is nothing available in my area i have researched and researched different things strategies etc but it just all seems a blur to me.
He really struggles with concentration, can have the most horrific meltdowns where he gets so angry and is unable to control his emotions , he is unable to rationalise and once he gets in that heightened rage i am unable to calm him down it can take over an hour at times, breaking things, hitting other children, shouting at adults, making horrific tantrum noises, i just don't know how to manage it.
at least 3 times a week i have a chat with his teacher where he has had these meltdowns in school, the teacher has had to remove the class from the room at times he can get that bad and it breaks my heart that i don't know any strategies to help him and that's all i want to do. he is so remorseful afterwards doesn't know why he is like this he says he just cant control it. He is a loving funny bubbly child and i hate seeing him struggle.
Are there any parents out there which a child with ADHD? how do you manage the meltdowns? how do you manage the restlessness he can never sit still? How do you bring out the best in your child? Is there any sensory things that could help him, strategies, tips anything? i just dont have a clue!
i know once he has the diagnosis i could maybe look into EHCP assessment (i dont really understand that either) and i know he will have medication as an option ( i dont understand children on medication is a good thing or bad thing either).

anybody please help me lol
from a very confused, stressed out mummy!

You might want to ask MN to move your thread to the SN boards.

You can apply for an EHCNA yourself now, you don’t need a diagnosis. IPSEA have a model letter on their website you can use. An EHCNA can include EP, OT, SALT and MH assessments which will all help you understand DS’s needs better and give recommendations on how to support DS. I would have expected the school to apply for one before now.

If you do want to do a parenting course speak to the school nurse, there will be something locally e.g the Triple P parenting course. However, many do not find them helpful.

How do I ask MN to do that?

You can report your post and ask MN to move your thread by clicking on “report” near “add message” and “message poster” etc on your posts. Or if using the mobile site clicking on the dots first near your post. I will report your thread now and ask MN for you.

Have a look at the ADDitide online magazine - it has some helpful articles about adhd. Don’t rule medication out, it can be life changing.

Hi OP, we're moving your thread over to our SN Children topic now.

Wow there is so much on your post. My 6 year old has ADHD. He got diagnosed a year ago and since then i joined a lot of support groups so i know loads of parents with similar kids now.

I’ll try and respond to some of the things you said in no particular order…

It’s not your fault. You are a good parent. If he does have ADHD, it’s genetic not something you have done.

Go see the docs. Private sounds sensible if you can afford it. We got the nhs to ‘accept’ my son’s diagnosis and take over his care after a while. The doctors can help.

Meltdowns: they are hideous aren’t they. I’m sorry. My son is the same. If your son does have ADHD, meltdowns are really common. They are awful though. Advice is: once a meltdown has srarted, you can’t stop it, just keep your son and everyone around him safe. Try and keep a log of them - what caused them, and see if you can identify triggers you can avoid. Might be things like sleep or food or random stuff. With my son most of the time it’s just him not getting his own way but one mate found out it was sugar which is easier to fix :-)

Get a crew. You need a group of parent mates with kids with adhd. Trust me, this will be everything. Strangers on mumsnet are nothing compared to real people you can meet for coffee or wine. Look on facebook, google etc. Someone added me to a random ‘parents of sen kids’ whatsapp a year ago and the support has been invaluable.

EHCP: oh man it’s so complex i’d have to write you an essay. My advice is, make some SEN parent friends and get them to explain it over a glass of wine / cuppa.

Good luck. Stay strong. You sound like me a year ago x

I also don’t want to overwhelm you with info but something we discovered was that a diagnosis and EHCP have got nothing to do with each other.

You or your son’s school can ask for an EHCP now. They don’t need a diagnosis, just evidence he’s struggling in education.

If he gets a diagnosis that will open some doors on the NHS for things like getting medication which can help with sleep and restlessness and stuff, but the NHS doesn’t usually cover much therapy or anything. They have said to us that therapy (occupational therapy and speech and language etc) should be provided by the local authority not the nhs.

I hope some of this is helpful.

Hi @joroxy27 just wondering how things are going with your son?