Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

[danni0509]

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

Phe sent me a PCR it hasn’t arrived yet, I’m booking one for the covid site tomorrow morning so I’ll do that, then I’ll do the one they send me in another couple of days.

Pleased you had a positive trip to school, hope tomorrow is successful.

Good plan.

Ds has gone in! Picking him up after two hours

So pleased. I hope it goes well.

Well done ds

How are you feeling danni?

I’m fine thanks open. I think I was just sweating as I had my dressing gown on and it was warm, sometimes my legs do ache (too fat) so I don’t think it was anything sinister as I feel normal today.

Not heard anything from school though, nothing at all! Would you be expecting to have some work set or some sort of communication? They haven’t impressed me at all this past month he’s been there!

It seems to be the same as old school just 20 miles away..

Not a full school day, mostly working out of the classroom with an adult, being missed out of the assemblies every week again that they post to parent mail, never mentioned in the weekly newsletter like the other children are, he’s been banned from swimming because he is struggling with the transition (aka! He won’t get out of the pool when they tell him too) so I’m struggling to see how it is any different to what we’ve just put up with for 3 years!

All I ever read on here is special schools are amazing, children finally have their needs met, thrive etc etc.

I’m not seeing it at all.

Ok maybe a bit better than old school as he’s allowed to play with the other children after lunch at least.

But it’s not a dramatic change.!

I’ll obviously give it time, he only started 5 weeks ago.

But do you know when you just have a gut feeling.

I think the difference here is that they have a plan to integrate him and they are increasing his time in the classroom with an aim for him to be full time from September. The old school weren't doing that. It's a shame about the swimming, hopefully they can try again once he's settled down a bit. Ds went through a phase of not wanting to get out of the pool when we would go, it was a nightmare.

He should be receiving work. Ds was given work to do while I had Covid though he didn't do very much at all, it was the last week before the Christmas break. I would email them and ask for it, though of course you shouldn't have to.

Really sorry to hear that @danni0509. I don't think it's worth trying to test DS. We're testing kids weekly now until the end of term (nursery asked us to and there is no way DS will do it if DD isn't doing it too) and I'm never really confident I'm getting a decent sample with DS so it seems quite pointless. DD can actually do her own now which is good - I thought I'd give it a try and she went further up her nose and for longer than I would have dared (still nothing like 10s or whatever they say it should be!! But you take what you can get). But when I tried that with DS he put it about 2mm in for about 1s and said "done" so I had to do it myself, and even then he was very wiggly.

I just think the risk that you accidentally hurt him if he is thrashing around is quite high, and the chance you can actually get a decent sample to test is quite low.

Sorry to hear about the transport problems. At least it seems she is improving but still far from what is acceptable. I guess there's quite a high chance he will have somebody new in September anyway, unless she can find some wrap-around care for her kids?

DS has just gone into today after 10 days at home self-isolating. It's lucky I was really quiet at work as even squeezing in a couple of hours a day meant working evenings most days and was generally stressful trying to just stay on top of e-mail and urgent stuff. Gargh! I really hope they make it through to the end of term now....

@danni0509

Maybe DS needs more time to settle. Or maybe it's not the right special school. Either way I think it's too early to say at the moment.

Finally got the letter through the post confirming DS is going to the new school in September. His first transition morning there yesterday went well. Celebrating the wins!

Magrat that's great!

I spoke with someone from the new austism school that I mentioned and dh and I have been discussing it this evening. I think we will ask to consult with them at ds' annual review in a couple of weeks. Really not sure it it's the right thing to do but we do not have to accept and he would not start until Jan, but equally it could be fantastic and it's worth looking into.

Brilliant magrat.

Open it's totally worth looking at even if it seems like a way off. Well done for getting ds in today.

We had a weird morning. They changed the bus group yesterday without telling us, so we got ds on but he was clearly unhappy with the change. This morning his absolutely refused to get on as, again, there were kids sitting in 'his' seat.
Anyway he flipped out for a bit, we managed to get him upstairs and he was very upset with us. But after a while of talking to him, he calmly got in my car and we took him to school with no problem. The school are sorting the seating problem on the bus and they are coming to do a home visit on Thursday.
Amazing to see how well ds (eventually) processed the idea that he was going to school in spite of the change of plan. I was really proud of him.

Danni I'm sure he will need time to settle, Covid has been so disruptive as well. Did you contact the school to ask why they haven't been in touch?

Finger's crossed for you light! Glad ds is finally back in!

Light glad ds is back at nursery, that sounds difficult. Tricky testing the dc weekly too. I guess they are just desperate to get to the end of term all clear.

liv glad ds managed to adjust to the change and go to school. I hope the home visit helps. Do they have any idea of what caused the resistance?

Re. the school. If it’s for autistic kids that are academically good but struggle with large classes, for instance, then he most likely won’t get in. If their criteria is a bit broader then hopefully he’ll have a good chance. It’s about 6 miles from us but the journey is mostly via a busy a-road so I won’t relish the journey but it would be worth it for the right school.

Actually it’s just under 10 miles.

Magrat that's great news on the school.

Open hope that the new school fits your boy's needs. Well done to you and Liv for getting them in.

Danni it must be frustrating but it is early days so hopefully things will get better.

We are self-isolating whilst waiting for DS's covid test result. He is coughing a lot. My neighbourhood is currently a covid hot spot so there is a chance that it is that. We have an appointment with the continence team on Monday which we have been waiting for for 6 months. I don't have high hopes of it but I'll be gutted if it can't go ahead. Hopefully it could be done over the phone if we don't get negative test result. I'm amazed we got a swab to be honest. My sister was an absolute superstar

Oh no dimples. I hope you get the result soon and it’s negative.

Ds went in again today. He was more reluctant but we were on time and he had a good couple of hours.

Dimples I hope your tests are negative, I had to cancel ds orthotic appointment for tomorrow. Been waiting ages for his shoes. It’s been re arranged for 3 weeks so not too long. He could do with an incontinence appointment more than shoes though! 🙈😕 toileting is a total nightmare here and at school, we get a telephone call every few months from incontinence, laxido on repeat when we need it which we don’t! and some shit (pardon the pun) leaflets, how’s ds doing with it? Hope it can go ahead as planned.

Open the school sounds good, especially an autism specific. Ds school is an all round special school, they have all sorts of disabilities/ needs. I’ve noticed (not being rude at all when I say this, just an observation I made when I see the school buses when I did my 2 week stint) ds school have a lot of children with Down syndrome.

I did my PCR test, so just waiting for the results not that it even matters I’m still not allowed out 😅 although yesterday when I went to post the test I took ds for a drive for half hour the long way back home, no harm done. The COVID police can come knocking I’ll put the handcuffs on myself to get away from this mad house!

Still not heard anything from school, no email / call. No work set. I haven’t bothered with them, if they can’t be arsed to get in touch they can sod off.

He’s done some bbc bite size maths games yesterday, some reading, handwriting and he’s been playing in the garden a lot so that will do.

He’s in a really silly mood today, he’s been up since 3.30am again. Roll on bed time! My favourite time of the day xx

Magrat well done to ds for a good settling in session.

To everyone else, I know it’s early days with ds school. He’s only been there 5 weeks, 1 of those weeks was half term, this week he’s not allowed in and the first 2 weeks he only did 3 hours a day and 1 week of 4.5 hours a day.

I just get vibes (I hope I’m wrong, but I’m not often 😏) …. Just from calls with the class team / emails they send and then knowing what ds is like. It’s like he’s really pissing them off with his behaviour. His teacher said he often looks for the full moon 😂 I know it’s a joke but he must think it to say it. I didn’t take offence I laughed. but with him mostly out of the class and doing reduced hours it’s just all we’ve ever had, they’ve already moved the goal posts a few times, he was going to be in the class full time before the summer break, then end of September now they say by Xmas so I’m wondering when it will change again.

I don’t think this will be his forever school iykwim.

I get that Danni and I think that it is bad that they haven't contacted you this week.

I told my line manager about the situation and he said, just do what you can. I hope that zero is acceptable! I had signed up for a seminar today which was on Zoom (with participants muted) so I projected it to the TV screen. DS was rather mystified by my work - I think he now wonders if I just watch TV all day!

Yes, I get it too danni. Our guts are often right, aren’t they. I hope things improve for you all in the next few weeks, once you’re all out of isolation.

Ds had a wonderful play date with family friends today. He was so kind and thoughtful and I was so, so proud of him. It really showed how much he’s maturing.

Ahh @danni0509 I hope your gut feel is wrong but I know what you mean, you learn to trust yourself after a while. On the plus side, he is at least having some classroom time and his teacher seems engaged - and they got to see what he could do academically really quickly whereas DS's previous school never really even seemed interested ... so I think it sounds like a step in the right direction, even if you're right and it's not his "forever" school.

@MagratGarlikInDisguise congratulations on having the new school place confirmed!

@livpotter well done to your DS. You would have thought the transport organisers would have foreseen that as a problem, or are there not many autistic kids on the bus? Anyway well done DS for adjusting and managing to get in.

@openupmyeagereyes well done to your DS for going in too. New school sounds potentially promising - definitely worth being aware of the options anyway!

@Mumofsend - really hope you get a good response to your letter - that alternative school sounds completely unsuitable. I can't believe they are suggesting that her social needs can be met by children what 5-6 years older who are presumably leaving next year?!

@dimples76 good luck with the cough - really hope it turns out not to be Covid and you can keep your appointment. Apparently this new variant is less frequently with a cough, more often snotty nose/headaches - so fingers crossed it could be something else.

We are all fine here. DS is back (slightly snotty but he's testing negative so I think it's just hay fever) Both kids have a sample day at their new school on Friday. I'm kind of excited but nervous. DD doesn't seem too anxious about it - it really helps that she's going with other kids from her school I think. Still a bit worried for drop off and for the lunch, which will be in a canteen and she's never done before! But I assume they'll have plenty of adults and her friends will help her if need be. Just hoping nobody gets sick before then so she can't go, as it will help her transition so much if she can get a bit of a taster before September!

Trying to think of a good thank you gift for her lovely TA now. He's done so much for her I want to get him something a bit special but not over the top/embarrassing. I am terrible at gifts so find this stressful!

Light I hope the sample day goes well with both of them. Good luck choosing something special for dd’s TA, he sounds great.

Dh and I both moved up our second jabs to this weekend. I might buy gifts and cards after mine on Sunday.

I hope I can get ds in for a third day today. We have our play therapy session at lunchtime which will be interesting. I hope ds likes it.