URGENT - any SS worker who could advise proedure re CA allegation pls?

[52andblue]

My ds, 16 has been accused by another child of confessing to her that he is worried he might have behaved inappropriately around 4 years ago, with his younger sister (now 13).

The other child has a long history of both bullying my ds (who had a sucidide atttempt in Aug due to this) and making false allegations (phoning the school during lockdown to claim he had run away). She is a very damaged kid. School and Cyps are aware of this but little support has been offered to us. I have recently made a complaint to school with the backing of Cyps.

School called SS and then called me to discuss at 3pm yesterday. They have previously suggested that I sort this with the girl's Father and did so again!. I think I can prove all the above by paper trail but I am concerned about ds being interviewed by SS. I realise I cannot prevent that but he has a tendency to admit to things when being questioned that are simply not true so I am worried. I have carefully questioned both my children separately. My dd says@ nothing has ever happened. My ds says he once saw her getting changed and she once asked him about 'the birds and bees after I'd told her about them but nothing happened'.
I am satisfied that this is true but I appreciate SS have to do their job and be satisfied too.
School describe ds as a 'vulnerable young man'. So does his Psych.
SS say this is a 'very serious allegation'. I agree.
Should he have a lawyer with him or something? (scared for him!)
They called me last night and are due to call back sometime today 'after the SS worker has a conversation with her manager'.

Can any SS worker advise please? Pm if possible.

I don't mind if any replies are PM or not actually I don't know why i put that.

But if anyone can advise on normal procedure (if there is such a thing) I would be grateful. I want to do all I can to support both my children but I am afraid for ds at this point as he is very naieve for his age.

perhaps this is not an appropriate post or no one can say ?

well they've not called yet, I don't know if that is a good or bad thing

Hiya I'm not sure if I can be of much help as I am not a SW but am a police officer who used to work in child protection and have experience of exactly this kind of scenario. There will be lots of maybes in my answer I'm afraid.

As you say you understand there has to be an investigation. Initially this will probably be SS alone (ie not with the police) as it's a third party reporting it (ie not a disclosure made by your daughter). There is a possibility they may insist on immediate safeguarding whilst they carry out their investigation, this may look like your son having to live elsewhere for a while, they may not do this if they are satisfied you are able to adequately safeguard within the home. The bottom line is that they will not progress this if there is no disclosure from your daughter or no supporting evidence from elsewhere.

It may be that they appoint an advocate to speak with your daughter and build up a trusting relationship with her and communicate with her in such a way that if she does have anything to disclose she feels safe to do so. I would not ask either one of them any further questions about it.

I could tell you more about what would happen next if she did disclose as that was the point we got more involved

More positively, if they conclude their investigation and there are absolutely no concerns then they will eventually leave you alone. This process will be quite intrusive as they will look at the whole family situation and any other concerns or dealings they've had with your family but ultimately if there is no evidence and no disclosure that will be the end of it

@Desmondo2016
Thank you. that is helpful.

You’ll probably find anyone who is able to answer your questions are at work at the moment so are unlikely to be browsing mn. Perhaps they’ll be on after office hours!

Do not question either of your children further - this is rule number 1

Ultimately if this girl is worried your DS has been inappropriate with her sister then she's done the correct thing by reporting it. It seems like you believe this to be a fictitious and false allegation, which, most people in your shoes would think in the first instance.

Everyone involved with the investigation will be use to, and trained to, interview children and assess risk.

Nothing will happen if your daughter does not disclose anything, unless your DS has been inappropriate with anyone else and they disclose.

Thank you both.

To answer @JabberGiraffe
I did not realise I shouldn't speak to the children. I won't now.
The girl herself found my dd at hometime and told her that 'ds was in trouble' and why so the cat was 'out of the bag' that way.
There is a documented history of the girl bullying my ds and making up other things so I am less worried about that.
What I am worried about is ds saying something innocent but phrasing it badly - he is Autistic and does this ALL the time. but this is serious and involves folk who don't know him / his ways.

No contact so far.
I don't know if this is a good sign or a bad one?
I also don't know whether to send ds to school tomorrow.
My email re dd today was not picked up by them by lunchtime (when they called to say she'd been in a minor accident at school). They'd 'lost it in spam'.
He does have an appointment with Caamhs tomorrow anyway so is still very visible. I just don't feel he is safe from this other child atm and have no faith school will keep them apart.
Dd is fine, and had a good day at school which i'm so pleased about.

It must be really, really tough for you. Sending a virtual hug and a massive, squeezy hand hold.

Hang in there. If your DS has an ASD diagnosis then he should have an advocate in for interviews. Talk to his psychiatrist about this as someone in their team may be trained in an advocate role.

Personally, I would not send him to school unless school had guaranteed that there would be no contact between DS and the girl.

I would also be ensuring that school have told the girl that whilst there is a live investigation ongoing she must not discuss it with anyone - the last thing anyone needs is a rumour mill.

Hi I am a child protection social worker.
The social worker who called you will most likely be from the MASH team who screen referrals and decide what action needs to be taken. As this is a serious allegation I would expect the referral to be sent to the locality team for further assessment. The social worker may put a safety plan in place for your daughter which would be that your son can not have any unsupervised contact with your daughter while the assessment takes place and then they will review this.

It is difficult to tell you what will happen etc as each case is very individual, but what I can tell you is that your children will be dealt with in an age appropriate manner and any disabilities etc will be taken into account.

Try not to worry to much, if this is truly another child stirring the pot it will all come out eventually.

Thank you so much for this info.

I have emailed School to say that ds wont be attending whilst we wait to hear from SS.

My dd is going in.
She was approached by the child who made the allegation on Monday (just after she'd done it) to tell her what she'd done.
I sent an email yesterday to say I wanted her kept away from dd as there is an ongoing SS situation and so inappropriate for her to discuss with my dd who has Autism and is unable to 'bat her off'.
Despite this, she approached my dd again with questions about Ds.
I have sent dd in again today with a further email documenting this.
If she is approached again I will have to keep her off too I feel.

I really hope SS come back to me today and that this doesn't escalate further.
Ds has a routine appointment for his anxiety with Caamhs today.

Should I let them know what is happening so they can ask him or is it strictly SS that should be involved please?
@crazymare20

I have also just left a message for his Psychiatrist (on books as he has meds for anxiety) to let him know what is happening

Have actually now spoken to Caahms and they were very helpful.

Had reply from School saying that other child 'not able to access Autistic dd due to year group bubble and she knows where to ask for help anyway'. I think that is very poor in the circs. If she is approached by the other girl again I will keep her home too.

Still no contact.
Don't know if this is 'good' or 'bad' ?
ooof.

Bumping for you. I'd hope they'd have an appropriate adult if you can afford a solicitor to be the appropriate adult I would.
This is terrible for your DS especially as he has suicidal tendencies.
I'd remove him from the school if the rumour mill starts.

thank you @Emeraldshamrock
I am keeping him off temporarily, supported in that by Caamhs.

I just dont know how long this will all take?

(sorry, am aware that no one can accurately predict this)

I am going to report this thread and ask for it to be moved to the SN threads as I think his Autism is relevant to my concerns about him being questioned.

@52andblue I would expect that if the referral has been sent on for further assessment then you should expect someone to contact you before or on Tuesday. If you haven’t heard anything by Wednesday I would call to ask for an update. Some local authorities or really stretched at the minute and it’s possible they might have closed the referral but not called to update you.

I had a call yesterday afternoon.
They are proceding with a #Child and Family Assessment.

They will call at the house 'sometime next week' to question ds and dd separately.

Does anyone know if ds can have an advocate with him?

He is Autistic and suffers from severe anxiety (which causes non epileptic 'fits' which are medically documented)

thank you, @crazymare20

@52andblue if you want an advocate with your ds then he can have an advocate, the choice is yours as you are his mother.

Good luck OP. I hope it is sorted swiftly.

@crazymare20

thank you, that's good to know.
I don't know where I'd FIND one? esp as SS attending 'this week'

Any ideas who I could call please?
He is under the care of Cyps (children and young peoples service) so has a Psychiatrist and a support worker for anxiety but I don't get the impression they would get involved?

Is there anyone I could call for advice re this that anyone knows of pls?

@crazymare20

Just spoke to SS. They want to come tomorrow.
Person had very strong foreign accent. Only an issue as Ds has auditory processing issues so watches TV with subtitles and doesn't cope with accents. I said I wanted time to arrange an Advocate but he was not happy. Said he'd speak to his boss and call me back later.