AAAAAaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhhh

[Jimjams]

Just got the report for ds1's statement review on Friday from the school and have 2 words to say F* Off!!!!!

There I feel better now I HATE all this shit. Especially all the political shit.

I have to say that the head EP in my borough is fighting to set up more units with m/s access for ASD. So far she has set up a nursery with 4 places and a unit with infants/junior for 10 children. They also practice inclusion but with a pinch of reality! Finances of course the problem and there's just not enough places but an attempt at choice is the plan ....

Jimjams ...
Just caught up with this thread .... am and on your behalf. Wish I could give some pearls of wisdom like others but I am hopeless, have no knowledge in this ... sorry

Good luck tomorrow hon, sending lots and lots of positive vibes your way ...
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G xx

The autism outreach worker is ringing me tomorrow morning so we can chat before the meeting (she is VERY good) so I'm pleased about that. Also his new LSA has requested that she attend and has been told by the head that she can, but "only as an observer!"

I'll be pleased when this is over!

Thanks ghosty Now you know why I;ve been crap at returning emails this week

Thinking of you tomorrow JJ: Hope it goes better than you expect.

Me too. xxxxx

everything crossed!!!XXXX

Good luck for tomorrow, Jimjams.

Best of luck Jimjams, let us know how it goes. xx

Good luck for tomorrow Jimjams
Try not to worry, I am sure it will be fine!

Jimjams I find it bizarre that his ISA is not allowed to speak. I know she is quite new, but surely she must have a good understanding of his mannerisms and triggers.

808state The ed psych who staememnted my son at four was great and even gave an accurate forecast of his level of need. However, my LEA choose not to listen to professionals and the rumour is that the ed psychs are restricted in what they write.
It is terrible that with only a few exceptions provision is so poor for those who are so vulnerable.

Quite agree maddiemo. I suspect they'd tell me I wasn't allowed to speak if they could - bet they'd like to It's OK though as I've told ds1's SALT that she is managing his behaviour well so I think the SALT will be asking her to explain what she does.

Hope it went well today Jimjams.

Well some good things came out of the meeting. SALT hours will be specified on the statement. The school will be visiting a local special school (SLD) for PECS training where the head is apparently crazy about PECS. There shouldn't be any problem with ds1 accessing the school (once a week was suggested) for sensory work- maybe even joining a class. Just looked at the school's OFSTED report- it's excellent, the Head sounds great from stuff I heard in the meeting, and I vaguely know someone whose son goes there and she's really happy with it. Apparently the facilities are amazing- hydrotherapy pool etc.

The school got very defensive about the behavioural stuff and apparently his new LSA was told off afterwards for saying that he doesn't pinch or headbutt her! Nothing was really sorted but they did seem shocked that I hadn't known about kicking and headbutting and I defintely got accross that I'm very concerned if he is doing that. Better home-school communication will be set up (I'd taken some sample forms for ideas- thank you Davros-).

Afterwards his class teacher took dh into the classroom to see ds1's workstation etc.

Just seen the SALT, and she is of the same opinion as me about the behvioural stuff. That if it isn't dealt with appropriately now that we are in danger of it escalating to a full repertoire of behavioural problems. She has spoken the the NHS SALT who is going in after 1/2 term- so she is aware of the situation. I will have to continue to ask about it. They have to start dealing with me as an equal partner if they want to stop the behavoural stuff, and stop putting their heads up their arses whilst doing the them and us stuff - the old we're the teachers so we say what is what crap (unfortunately I'm the mum and have dealt with autism for far longer than any of them and have been on more bloody courses!). As his SALT said ds1 is "far too complicated for that".

I think that school have also failed to take on board that if he starts headbutting and kicking at school he will transfer that to home - and I could do without that thanks very much!

I have also discovered that his last LSA did play a bit of a martyr role with regards the pinching etc rather than deal with it appropriately. I feel like asking for my chocolates back Hopefully with his new LSA this sort of thing will be better. His behaviour doesn't phase her and she does manage him well. I just hope that she doesn't get so pissed off with the school that she leaves- think that is the main danger!

Had a look at the special school on the web last night- and the ofsted report- it looks great- if we can get one foot in the door via weekly visits I will be very happy.

DH thinks I am in danger of becoming too negative and the SALT thinks it is going as well as can be expected. We just need to get better home school communication going. Unfortunately that is going to be tricky I think- too many barriers.

Well done, jimjams. Sounds like you and dh handled things brilliantly, as usual. Those meetings can be SO stressful- I've seen some go utterly pear-shaped- and I think it sounds like some positive stuff has come out of this one, really. Hope the home-school communication goes well and that ds1 enjoys his visits to the special school.

I don't know scummy I feel quite down about the whole thing (whilst trying to be aware that I always feel down after these things). I just don't think any of my points aboutthe behavioural concerns were taken into consideration. It does really really really worry me that they're not looking into REASONS for poor behaviour and changing those - just going straight to a "poor us" response and "look how difficult this is for us to deal with". It doesn't have to be like that- ds1's strength has always been his GOOD behaviour. I'm very worried that inappropriate responses could lead to him becoming challenging.

And I've just received a copy of an amended report. And it still has all the stuff about restraint in. It says that they will look at the positioning of the LSA - but nothing about actual analysis of the behaviour etc. Sigh. What do I do now? My reaction is to write a response requesting that behaviour analysis and modification is used in the first instance and restraint is only used as a final option if people are seriously at risk of being damaged- NOT in order to gain compliance.....

Any ideas????

hmmm. Sorry. I can see that would be worrying, yes. (Still think you handled it well though.)

What did they say had been happening re headbutting/kicked etc, exactly? Who has he headbutted/kicked and how often has this been happened?

Similarly, what does the stuff about restraint actually say?

My understanding is that training the staff in restraint techniques may be necessary from a health and safety pov, as I think davros the wise said below. BUT, your last post is exactly what good practice guidelines on restraint would say, IME. (And therefore will be the first thing staff will be taught if they do go on a course, I would hope and expect.) Your ds1 should absolutely NOT be restrained except in a last resort- it is definitely not on for this to be a routine part of his school life. I've been in review meetings about this several times and the senior practioners/LEA advisers have always been totally clear on that point and schools have been forced to develop more proactive and positive ways of working. Not sure if this is very helpful but if you can say a bit more I'll see if anything relevant comes to mind.

sorry- got my eds and ings quite mixed up there! Hope you can decode.

The report says "when distressed will kick pinch head butt and scratch staff. Other LSA staff often need to give support/respite for LSA in charge as this is emotionally distressing and physically demanding."

A bit has been added saying "parents voiced concern that the headbutting/kicking episodes do not develop into a habit when A is reluctant to participate in an activity. School will consider the body position of LSA to ensure this does not encourage A to react in this negatve way"

I guess my concerns are
a) they don't seem to realise that actually they have a lot of control over the behaviour he exhibits. There seems to be an attitude in there that he pinches, kicks and headbutts and that nothing can be done about it. Actually we have used behaviour modification at home and nursery to keep pinching manageable - and that programme is continually in place. When it goes AWOL - ie someone is unable to conform to our rules then the pinching does resurface.
b)They're not even attempting to analyse why behaviour is occuring other than 'he doesn't want to do an acitvity". Well he often doesn't want to do an activity in his ABA programme or in his general life but he doesn't pinch, kick and headbutt his way out of it.
c)I didn't know the extent of the pinching that was going on in there- I thought it was well under control (and obviously knew nothing about headbutting and kicking). I'm shocked to discover that actually his old LSA has been going home every night for the last 6 months to be greeted by her dh with "well what's happened to you today then?" When none of this was necessary. With a properly thought out behavoiour modification programme she doesn't actually NEED to be being pinched every day. Instead of looking at antecedents to the behaviour etc they seem to be preferring to stand wround saying "poor LSA what a terrible time she'\s having". Well sodding do something about it then!!!!

So it's not the request for training for restraint that bothers me as such- it's the underlying lack of understanding of what is going on with him that worries me greatly. They seem to think that he has to be contained physically rather than controlled behaviourally iyswim.

I think I am going to re-write our concerns and ask that they are circulated and attached to the report.

Oh dear- how infuriating to find out about the jellylike spine of the old lsa now, jimjams. What support do the school get from the LEA autism outreach team? (There is one, isn't there?) Haven't they had any advice from them at all on managing A's behaviour? Your concerns are totally valid and I'm concerned that they aren't doing these things as a matter of course.

I don't think they've asked. The head called a halt to the discussion as it was getting a bit out of hand. (The classteacher kind of pulled up her sleeve to show her war wounds- again a surprise- I hadn't actually been told she was being pinched - and then started going on about how one of the LSA's cuts became infected- the SALT stepped in at that stage - luckily- as I felt that that was getting a bit out of hand- and the SENCO quicky pointed out that they had no way of proving that the infection originated from ds1). Before we moved on I requested that the school receive behaviour support and autism outreach said they would be the people to provide that. I also dished out behaviour analysis charts etc.

They still seem to see themselves very much as victims though- rather than as the adults who can take control.

Anyway great ABA session today- he's exhausted but was very compliant and did some great work.

We're thinking along the lines of a letter to the Senco saying how pleased we are with the positive steps that were made in the meeting (intellikeys, visits to special school, SALT hours etc) and that we thought it would be helpful if we clarified our concerns re the behaviour issues- and could this be attached to the report. We would then go (politely) into our concerns- difficult (but important) to do without sounding critical- but I have a week to compose it.

Does that sound reasonable or is it just going to inflame the situation unecessarily?

I think it sounds reasonable. Give plety of praise where justified but bring all the issues to their attention with as much positive spin as you can handle.
Do you have a home school contact book? You need a note of every incident. It is not fair for the teacher to show you her injury, they are responsilble for managing behaviour and must deal with it without resorting to martyrdom.
Would it be acceptable for someone to video ds1 working at school. You would then be able to watch it and help everyone to modify behaviour.
Try not to worry about the restraint issue too much. I hope it is a formality to enable them to handle children gently when needed and not used as a behavioural deterrent.
I am having similar problems with a pattern of aggresive behaviour developing between my ds and another child. I will post on it when I get the chance as I think you may be able to give me some good pointers on how to defuse things.
I hope the sld school placement comes soon, hopefully they will be able to help everyone involved.

Oh Jimjams, I hate it when they don't TELL you stuff that's been going on...