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SN children

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Original poster

DS Suspended

28 replies

CleanKittyCat · 13/10/2004 12:33

Just got a phone call from DS's school (mainstream) and told me to come and pick him up as he is being suspended for 1/2 day, for wounding another child. After talking to him turns out that some kid (2 years younger) grabbed him in a wrestling hold so that ds couldn't get away, so he bit him.

This kid has been tormenting ds for quite a while (even kicked him in the crotch once) but nothing done about other child. Not even told off this time. Am appealing it but don't hold out much hope as they all band together.

Advice anyone??

OP posts:

Jimjams · 13/10/2004 12:38

I suppose you could try telling the school his side of the story... All too familiar though.

Does he had a dx? Are the school at all understanding? Sounds like he needs more supervision, or more structure at playtime.

Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 13/10/2004 12:45

whats a dx?

He is fully statemented with 25 hours LSA support and supposedly 6 hours a week lunchtime supervision, never seen this lunchtime supervisor though. School don't want to hear why ds did it just, "he wounded another child school policy is to suspend and will go on his permanent record" I've done nothing but butt heads with the education dept about him Im sick of it,

don't want to fight anymore

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meea · 13/10/2004 12:58

Where was his lunch time supervision whilst this was happening surely thats the whole point.I would hate to think of any child being tormented and to punish him for retaliating is wrong.What's the schools policy on bullying.
Put the kettle on and enjoy your afternoon with him and give him a big hug from me .

charliecatthenonsmoker · 13/10/2004 13:02

Goodness me. I wonder if it would stillhave been your son that had been suspended if he had been the one doing the wrestling hold? Im for you. Huggsssxx

Thomcat · 13/10/2004 13:28

What! Well that's not right. Don't know what to advise other than get back up the school, well arrange a meeting, to diuscuss this in more detail.

aloha · 13/10/2004 14:11

I feel for your son. I'd bite someone who was holding me in a wrestling hold. Honest, I would. I can understand why you feel so dispirited, but it's perfectly justified to ask a/where the lunchtime supervision is and b/what their bullying policy is, as you son appears to be being bullied. Maybe an appointment with the head? I hope you have a nice afternoon together.

Dingle · 13/10/2004 14:20

Made me feel all defensive!!!
It seems so unfair. This can't be let lie!! Surely the fact that THEY have not been keeping to the terms of his statement is the main problem. If he had the supervision he was suposed to be having the tormenting would have been picked up on,not been done in the first place and you son would never had been pushed into this wicked situation in the first place.
It's been said already but have a wonderful afternoon together-yes he may have done something that is not acceptable-but it's not fair he was left in this situation for it to happen.

waflle,,,waffle,,,,moann,,,grumble..

Jimjams · 13/10/2004 14:33

sorry dx= diagnosis.

Well obviously his mealtime assistant wasn't doing her job. My son's LSA said she had to stop him pinching his previous teacher (had to try not to because his previous teacher was a bit clueless) all through yesterdays afternoon break. Apparently he had her in his sights and was very determined. His LSA saw it as her job to stop that (which I guess it was).

The school sound as if they are being generally unhelpful- but I have no idea how to cope with that- very very difficult. Is there some sort of outreach team that can get involved? Locally we have an autism outreach team who are very good. - I think in the next meeting we are going to set a behaviour strategy to deal with this sort of thing- it means the school can act in an approproate manner as well.

snmum · 13/10/2004 14:36

how awful they should be making your life easier not harder, hope you get this sorted.

Easy · 13/10/2004 15:03

You definately need to make an appt. to see the head, maybe at a time when your son's class teacher, and LSA can be asked in to comment if necessary.
Does your school have anyone with special responsibility for SN (I know there is at my ds's school)
If you get nowhere with school you may need to start dealing with the LEA, either to get your school to deal with the situation properly, or find a more suitable school for ds.

I feel very angry for you, and for your ds. Was he injured by the previous kick? did you complain to school about that?

Loobie · 13/10/2004 16:33

There should be an incident form which you can ask to see,it should be filled in if he assaulted another child,kick off very loudly about where exactly was his support when this happened and how in the first place was this other child allowed to get a hold of yours by the neck.Also you can appeal against his suspension,it is only 1/2 day but it will stay on his record,if you appeal it you can have it removed,all you need to do is prove that the whole situation was wrong and that he has been suspended due to his condition i.e that he has asd?? or whatever he has and that the incident was a direct result of this.Dont appeal it through the school cause as you say they all stick together,go above them to the education authority,oh and you should get a letter stating the exact reasons for his expulsion and details onn how to appeal against it.WE have a helpline called enquire not sure where you are and they are absolutely fabby for helping with these types of matters.
Ive been here many times with ds who was then assaulted by teaching staff as they had enough of him so i have fought well and truly with education,fortunately he is now in an autism unit and is progressing very slowly as mainstream school done so much damage to him.
HTH Liz xx

Chocol8 · 13/10/2004 17:48

CTC - if you get the chance, take a look at a thread further down on Special Needs called "Problems with Ritalin and being bullied...". My ds is being bullied at school and I was at my wits end like you.

I know how you are feeling (my ds used to be suspended all the time) and it's a horrible place to be. The fabulous MNers suggested I arrange a meeting with the my ds's Head, teacher and SENCo. I also have involved Parents in Partnership which is run through the local council. Do you know if you have anything like that where you are? The council switchboard should know, though it took me 4 phone calls to track them down.

The man I spoke to explained that if required they attend meetings, give advice and coordinate any action to be taken by the school, (and ensure it happens) to help empower the parent. Well it certainly empowered me! He will attend the meeting next Tuesday and he used to work with the SENCo, so quite handy.

I know you are fed up with this situation and you are right in saying that they all band together. It's not fair! If you haven't got Parents in Partnership, perhaps you could speak to a local support group or take with you a friend who is good at listening and making notes? If it's recorded and agreed by those present, it may hold more weight than them just saying blah, blah blah. Just a thought.

Good luck with this, and this horrible child ought to get his comuppance - especially for kicking your ds in the crotch! Little sod. x

Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 13/10/2004 17:52

DS never complained or told anyone about this boy picking on him even when he kicked him. because he is younger than him.

Had meeting with head tonight (when I went to pick up dd) she told me that deputy (Who suspended him because head wasn't there) was in right, never gave me a chance to explain ds's side of story, but we can complain to board of govenors. Will do this but don't expect much to happen there. They have got it in thier head that he "wounded" this boy so that is all there is to it. BTW this other boy wasn't even told off.

ds said he has never seen his lunchtime support, when he asked where it was (Very forward little boy,) he apparently was told we can't be expected to watch you all of the time, and that his lunchtime support was split with another child(?)

His statement review is next thursday morning so I will definately bring the subject up there, in front of head, teacher, SENCO, LSAs 1&2, education authority, pediatrition etc.

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Chocol8 · 13/10/2004 18:02

Go Cleankittycat! Make sure you shout loud enough for those at the back of the room. Good luck. x

pixiefish · 13/10/2004 18:28

If the school are receiving funding for lunchtime support then your ds should be getting it- that's the problem here- if he'd had supervision he wouldn't have been in aposition to bite anyone- I'd want THAT question answered first. Go to the LEA if you have no luck with the school

Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 14/10/2004 14:17

Just handed in a letter to Chair of Govenerors, asking for enquiry and removal of suspension from record. Shall I hold my breath?

About to compose one to the LEA, anyone had to do this before? If so pointers please.

No matter what I'm raising it at the review next week. Demand to know where his support is/was.

It's just getting me down he's 9 now do I have to keep fighting for decent educational cover for another 9 years?

I actually educated him at home for nearly 1 year last year, he went back to school at his request. Now he's helping the teacher teach the kids because he is so advanced

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Dingle · 14/10/2004 14:54

CKC-still very new to the educational side of things, but doesn't the SEN Code of Pratice book give you hint/tips and example letters of complaint? I have a copy here, went on a very basic course a few weeks ago! Have sooo much to learn.

Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 14/10/2004 18:10

Dingle, never heard of that book, where can I get it?

OP posts:

Dingle · 14/10/2004 19:18

It's a DfES Publication,reference DfES 581/2001 I believe. I Think it is free but check their website.
tel;0845 60 222 60

DfES

I'll take a quick look if I have the chance.

Dingle · 14/10/2004 19:25

OOh, also there is a smaller publication by them called SEN-A guide for parents & carers, that's ref DfES 0800/2001. In the back of that there is a list of loads of the different Parent partnership services contact numbers that Chocol8 discussed.

chatee · 14/10/2004 20:24

have a look in archived messages for july 2003 by chatee as there is a list of free booklets/publications available for sen
sorry i can't do links(think the date said 10th july)
hope it helps someone

Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 14/10/2004 20:33

oh ooh got copy of SEN-A guide for parents & carers, downloaded it. Will read later, still loking for the other one.

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Dingle · 14/10/2004 20:41

The Code of Practice is a 200 page, A4 size book!!! LOts of reading!

Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 15/10/2004 13:55

AArrgghh!! Before Thursday?

Good excuse not to do housework/excerise just joking!

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Original poster

CleanKittyCat · 15/10/2004 13:59

Ironically, I was putting dd to bed last night(not asd, child) and she told me that she didn't want to go to school tomorrow, when pressed she told me that she had been told off and made to stand at the wall for 5 mins yesterday lunchtime. When I asked her why she mumbled a bit and finally told me that she had bitten someone.

Why wasn't she sent to head teacher? why wasn't she suspended for 1/2 day. not that I wanted her to but...she did same thing as ds, at the same school.

Double standard?

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