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Struggling to cope violent child.

38 replies

Riverandrocks · 08/04/2020 11:57

I'm a single mum to two children my 6 year old son has adhd and behaviour problems possibly asd. He is very violent toward myself and his 8 year old sister. He swears like a trooper and It's like walking through a mindfield everyday as you just don't know what will set him off. I'm hit, kicked, bitten and spat at daily. I dread each day before it has even began.

Getting him dressed, undressed, to eat or do as he's told is just such a battle. His tantrums can last for hours and nothing calms him down. I tried to walk away from him and he will follow me, I've tried putting him in his bedroom and holding the door but he trashed it and screams so loudly that next door complaint. I've tried reward charts but he rips them up. He wet himself daily mainly during a tantrum. I can't leave the house and he just runs off and won't listen so we are always stuck in the house. He can play in the garden but even now he's starting to climb the fence. I've just had enough I can't deal with him much longer.

OP posts:
Niffler75 · 09/04/2020 12:11

What I have found as my son has got a bit older he is developing a sense of modesty, thank goodness. On the rare occasion he undressed now he tends to keep pants on and wrap himself in his fave blanket. Again it's a sensory thing!
'Flapping on the breeze!' Made you laugh! 😉

Riverandrocks · 09/04/2020 15:02

Well the pool didn't last long it didn't even full up much. Fighting with his sister as he didn't want her going on. Tried a walk in the wood which he had a "accident" normal thing now as hes never poo in the toilet! So that was a short trip. We are back stuck at home

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Niffler75 · 09/04/2020 17:17

Ugh I am so sorry! 😖 How are things now?
Demand avoidance comes in all shapes and forms including toileting issues. We have had that too but not so much now.
My son used to attack me for suggesting he go to the loo even if he was doing the jiggy wee wee dance!

Ilovellamasandpenguins · 09/04/2020 19:04

Sorry to hear that.

Riverandrocks · 09/04/2020 21:21

Toileting has been so hard work! Doesn't help when he's at his dad's he put his in pull ups. Getthing him to even have a wee can be a battle so he still wets hisself daily.

Not a good afternoon refused to eat lunch and also dinner. Can forget about bedtime tonight as he won't stay in his bed.

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Riverandrocks · 09/04/2020 21:24

Oh and this happen at Bath time lucky no one was hurt!

Struggling to cope violent child.
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Riverandrocks · 10/04/2020 01:44

I've had worse behaviour so I wouldn't say my worse day ever but this has been my worse night with him with. All this started over dinner time as he wasn't hungry but was asked to sit at the table with his dinner infront off him which is what I've been asked to do. If he doesn't want to eat he still got to sit at the table. Plate throw across the table which I ignored and he did stay at the table but lots off crying, shouting and trying to make himself sick. I left him to calm down and said when he's ready he can come up stairs for a bath. He followed me upstairs and started to hit me with the mop that's in the bathroom and ended up smashing the shower door with it. Yes I shouted at him which I know doesn't help and just made things a lot worse.

I put him in his bedroom holding his door just the safety off myself and his sister his room absolutely trashed everything chucked around the room all toys on the floor and clothes out his draws. He wasn't calming down so I went in and anything he could get hold off chucked at me. I tried to talk to him saying everything is ok. I ended up just having to hold him tightly where he couldn't get out or hurt me. Took longer that normal but he did calm down.

I let him lay in my bed with his ipad while I sorted the bathroom out and tidy up him room. Hoping he would fall asleep. Next battle nappie and pj's on! I gave him a warning 5 more minute then we are getting ready for bedtime. After his time was i took the ipad away. Not a big kick off he went into a paddy tantrum lasted around 3 minutes but then I had all the excuses to not get nappies and pj's on. He needed a drink, he's hungry, needed a wee, his tummy hurts, he feels sick, needs a cuddle. Finally he agreed to get dressed for bed time.

I wasnt going through another battle off putting him to bed so downstairs with me and we'd read a book and he had his bedtime drink. Finally at 1 he fell asleep on the bottom off the stairs. Which I manage to get him into bed without waking him. Now if he doesn't wake up till the morning that would be a miracle!!

I'm really struggling with him and being on lockdown and I'm having him full time is a challenge. Some weekend hes with his dad

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Riverandrocks · 10/04/2020 16:00

A much better morning today he got dressed without a fight and spent the morning playing on the switch with his sister. Still refusing to eat anything but is drinking loads. Now dreading dinner time

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Ilovellamasandpenguins · 10/04/2020 16:19

Just caught up - good news regarding today.

I remember dreading every day and even if something did turn out OK I was waiting for the next hiccup.

Long may it continue

💐

Niffler75 · 10/04/2020 17:01

Try to take the emotion out of mealtimes. I know you have been advised to sit him at the table, but would he be calmer eating away from the table at his pace?
Before we had a diagnosis here profs tried to help by giving advice you would use with a neuro typical child. Oh boy, it was stand back and watch the fireworks!

Riverandrocks · 10/04/2020 17:27

When he eat he will sit at the table. Tried a picnic in the garden at lunch time which didn't work. Just making all the foods eats and will lay them out and he can pick at them

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Niffler75 · 10/04/2020 18:17

I meal plan with my son. Sometimes it takes him nearly an hour to eat his tea as he picks at it. If I try to force him/ speed him up he becomes aggressive. I back off and he does eat as much as he needs.
It has been trial and error though and finding what works!

NAZAM7860 · 13/04/2020 19:58

Hi
I have a 4 year old only child (boy)
He has a kidney syndrome which was diagnosed 2years back. On daily medication. Is on a ehcp few months back. He gets so violent towards me and his dad. Throws things at us like shoes, anything that he can grab his hands on, isn't aware that it can hurt us. Always screaming for no reason, refusing to listen all the time, swears a lot. Does anyone know what strategies that I can put in place. Was attending parenting programmes weekly, but all this lockdown due to covid 19 everything's closed. Any advice or Any thing. Is anyone else going through this. Xx @

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