Spastic

[lou33]

Ok, now it's really really getting to me atm, the amount of times I am hearing this word used as a form of humour, to take the piss out of other people etc. Some of you might remember my tirade against Richard Curtis (thank you everyone who joined in with that) for using it in Love Actually. And recently I wrote to the editor at the Daily Telegraph about an article regarding the paralypmics, and one journalist's viewpoint that it wasn't worth the airspace (no reply from them, but lots of letters printed agreeing with the journo in question, interestingly enough)

Now I've rattled off another email to channel 4 and ofcom, about the tv programme "Make me a perfect wife". Did anyone notice one of the husbands calling his wife a spastic? Icing on the cake, as dh was sitting next to a bunch of people in a pub at the weekend listening to them calling each other spastics, and doing their version of impersonations.

I am so sick and tired of people thinking it is ok to insult and make fun of disabled people. Bet Channel 4 wouldn't dream of lettting racist or religious abuse through , so why are disabled people fair game? I could possibly understand it, if the programme was about the ignorant attitudes of certain parts of society today, but it wasn't at all relevent to the programme itself.

Anyway, if anyone had read this far, and wants to see what I wrote, here it is:

"I am writing regarding the first programme of the above series and to register a complaint.

Can you please tell me why Channel 4, while filming the lives of these people, running it through editing, and checking for final viewing, allowed, or thought it acceptable to include a speech from one of the husbands, in which he calls his wife a spastic? Is it amusing, clever? Were you trying to make him look a fool? Whatever your reasons I am greatly offended.

As a mother of a 3 1/2 year old son, who has cerebral palsy , spastic diplegia, I find it incomprehensible, that in this day and age, there are still people and tv companies, who are willing to use this sort of language as a form of humour. My son struggles every day to do the most basic things. He has only recently learned to sit without lots of support, he cannot stand at all, or walk,he is in a wheelchair, he can only crawl when not using it. He is highly intelligent, and talks all the time about how when he is bigger he is going to walk like his daddy, and play football. He struggles to do things even the very youngest toddlers can do without thinking, yet he is a charming, bright, humourous little soul, who bears no malice to anyone. Would someone from the channel 4 team like to pay a visit to my house, and spend some time with myself and my son, then maybe I could have an explanation as to why including the word spastic in the show was seen as a legitimate source of entertainment?

You may say it is relevent to show what sort of character this man has, but no, it isn't. It has nothing at all to do with the subject of the series, and would have made no difference at all to the way the programme ran, if you had just edited it out.

I am sick and tired of hearing this phrase bandied about, as though people with this type of cerebral palsy, and their families, are unimportant. You wouldn't dare let a racist comment slip through, or a religious attack, for fear of complaints, so how dare you feel it acceptable to make fun of disabled people. My son didn't choose to have cerebral palsy, he should be entitled to have an equal life to those of the non disabled, and that includes not having such ignorant and offensive comments used in everyday life, because of something which is not a lifestyle choice.

I will be contacting Ofcom as well."

Maybe it is our fault for not pulling people up on it when we have the chance. Maybe we should all try and point out that this is unacceptable when we hear these kind of offensive comments. Dh says to his utter shame he said nothing, because there were many in the group, all drunk, and he was quite frankly worried as to how they would react.

Thanks for reading my rant if you have got this far.

Heartily pissed off lou33

You have my total support lou.

Hulababy, thank you for taking this issue up with your school, and good luck.

Ph lou, sorry, I didn't mean that- I just meant that if (like me in the cretin example earlier) the only time you ever hear a word is in a context where it seems only to be a mild insult, you are likely to use it yourself. The fact that spastic is not used as a term for people with cerebral palsy now might mean, I think, that schoolchildren and younger people simply have no idea of what the real meaning is. As I said, I'm honestly not trying to make excuses, there can be none, but I wonder if that's part of the problem. If so, something like Hula's suggestion of explaining exactly what these words really mean might have a real impact.

Sorry, I don't think I'm explaining this very well.

good for you Lou33. Its a good letter, and hopefully they will take notice of what you say.

Tamum, I was agreeing with you, ikwym, but this man wasn't a kid, and therefore I would have to assume that he was from the generation that does know what it means . Does that make sense?! But I understand that children may have no idea of what a spastic actually means. Unfortunately it has only ever been grown adults, often older than myself, who I have heard using it in fun.

Sorry lou, I was being a bit dim, I do see what you mean. Awful

Great letter Lou33 and I do think it was an important point to make. Agree that maybe kids don't know what it means but adults certainly do.
Not quite the same, but I developed epilepsy as an adult, and have found jokes about 'epileptics' quite hard to take ever since.

Lou, well done for standing up to an awful situation. Unfortunately I think it is very true, most people just don't think about what the "term" actually means, and they don't realise the hurt they are causing by using the term inappropriately.
It's like the first time I read the word "mong" after dd was born- I was so shocked- I hadn't heard the term use since childhood.
I feel that unfortunately it is down to the likes of parents who have children with SN to make others aware of this mis-use of outdated terminology to hopefully stamp it out as the years go by. We can live in hope. Good luck & well done for making a well needed stand Lou.

Thanks. Edam i am epileptic too, so ikwym.

I wonder what makes some people of our generation think it is acceptable amd even funny to use terms like spaz, mong, paki, phlid etc, and others don't? All of these words were common when I was a child , and I couldn't bring myself to use them then, let alone as an adult. I didn't have to be told they were wrong.

Fear? Deliberate distancing of themselves from the problems faced by the "others"? Or just plain downright pig ignorance, lack of empathy and disrespect for the feelings of others?

Just a couple of suggestions off the top of my head!

Go lou! Keep fighting - I honestly think that (instigated by you) we made a difference with regard to Richard Curtis; I don't believe he will ever use that word again. Hope you get a response soon.

I agree with all of those Meanbean!

Moo, I really hope so, and I hope he passes on his lesson to those he knows.

Hiya lou, get thee in my birthday bar please!

Great letter Lou - you deserve a proper response, and it makes my blood boil too . Still tell everyone I know to boycott the video of Love Actually.

So do I jmb . I can't see myself rushing to see any of his future films either (not that I ever idd anyway).

Lou33, your post made me cry. It makes me want to punch these heartless people and give your son a hug.

A friend of mine has a brother who is severely disabled, but he understands and gets upset when people make fun of disabled people. It breaks your hear to see these bullies thinking is OK to make fun of people who are not strong enough to stand for themselves.

Well done for raising your concerns so well, we should all do, even if it doesn't apply to us directly!

love and hugs
happyspider

lou, brill letter. I am shocked that any TV comnpany would have allowed a character to say spastic in that way.

brilliant letter - you've said you don't want to turn into an activist BUT if we don't speak up who will.. sometimes it gets tiring and you just want to be mum not all the other things that we are called upon to be.....

BUT - keep speaking up and you can make a difference - not just for your son but for others.

Thank you all. It's v depressing when you sit on your own, wondering if there is any point writing yet another email, but you have all given me more confidence in myself to carry on. You have all been so lovely and supportive.

Just copied and pasted this from the ofcom codes of practice page:

There is a danger of offence in the use of humour based on physical, mental or sensory disability, even where no malice is present. Reference to disability should be included only where necessary to the context and patronising expressions replaced by neutral terms. It should be possible for people with disabilities to be included in programmes of all kinds.

Good for you for standing up to these ignorant people lou. If it even makes a few people stop being so thoughtless, careless then it will be well worth it!

The programme you mentioned was all round appalling really. I didn't see the part you refer to as I turned over after 5 mins, but I am so sick of all this RUBBISH on television.

People who commission these television programmes are paid very well for doing a huge disservice to society.

I agree Puff. I only saw a few mins before , up until when the bloke said spastic, and then I turned off. I feel a bit soiled after watching programmes like that in general, as though I am expected to laugh at these people and be glad I am "better" than them somehow. This time however I think I can honestly say I am a better person than the bloke in question.

Still don't really like these programmes in general though.

Lou,

I thought your letter was really excellent. I hope that when the 'high heid yins' at Channel 4 read it they feel rightly ashamed.
I think that a lot of people, adults as well as kids use terms like this out of unthinking ignorance (not that I'm excusing them for a minute) and need to be educated. Your letter does just that - shows them that people with cerebral palsy like your son can be brave, intelligent and lovely people with so much more to contend with than the average person, instead of being just figures of fun. Good luck.

Blimey, when I saw that written in the subject headings, I though oMG, who's written that and was the first thing I clicked on. What I'm saying is i was shocked to see the word spastic like that, and could only think that it was a negative comment and I was ready to be upset.

First just want to say sorry Lou, sorry you have hear shit like that. But you don't have to put up with it, and your not, and that's great.
Well done Lou. It can be a lonely place sometimes, sitting at home, one little voice, trying to be heard. Keep going, keep doing it, your voice will get louder and louder and be joined by other voices. You will be heard. And you will get all the support you need and that you deserve. We're right behind you kid
Let us know how you get on with regards to a reply or if there's anything we can do to help your voice grow louder.

I wonder how many people actually think it is offensive enough to complain though? Maybe I am going to be the lone voice in the wilderness of channel 4 and ofcom.

I don't expect to hear from either of them any time soon though, the C4 site said it takes about 4 weeks, and there was no time scale at all on ofcom. I also emailed scope again, but my contact there is much quicker in replying (she says jinxing herself).