I know I have a tendancy to over react so can you tell me please if

[2spells]

you would describe a person who has downs syndrome as being mentally disabled.
I felt no and so did ds but am now wondering if as usual I have got it wrong. thanks (2shoes)

The thing I hate most about PC- ness is that it actually isolates me and my child.
If I am with my DS people may look over ( he is very handsome) and may try to engage with him ( he often looks totally average) and then you can see 'something is not quite right there' flit across their faces - and soon enough they move away. Some lovely people do ask rangeing from 'can your son not talk?' or 'why is he doing that ?' through to 'aww bless - is he retarded?'

But nice average ordinary people are terrified of saying the wrong thing because we seem to have an ever shifting interpretation of what is OK which is actually mostly bollox.
For me intent is the start and the finish of it. If someone approaches my child with compassion and empathy and interest I will forgive them almost anything. But the people who, in that same position , jump down the throats of well-intentioned people do us no favours. My favorite - a little old lady approached me and a friend and our boys - " are they autistic, my grandson is autistic too" Stony stare from friend " my son has autism. he isn't autistic it does not define him. He has a condition, it's not all he is"
now whilst I agree with her substantive point ....seriously is that really the most important thing at stake here.
My eldest son went through a period of calling DS2 "odd kid" after the Harry Enfield character. He also punched a boy who sneered " look he's retarded" at his brother.
Neither of those would be of my choosing but actually neither made me feel terribly cross.
I judge people on how they treat my son - with dignity and respect or not - and everything else , well it will have all changed again in a few years anyway

This whole issue seriously annoys me !

KNow what you mean Riven we probably use terms with DS1 trhat we would trhrottle other people for, humour and love count for a lot though

i think carer varies- if you think of it as carer int he physical sense then probably, but it can mean carere in the sense of someone who loves and cares for. tahts OK I think, Dh knows I am his carere (he has mental health issues sometimes) and its not an issue with him, as he knows for me it imparts love and care.

haven't read the whole thread..

My dd1 has down syndrome as most of you know.

I say she has down syndrome, she has special needs with regards to her intellectual capabilities - I say she has an intellectual impairment.