I know I have a tendancy to over react so can you tell me please if

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you would describe a person who has downs syndrome as being mentally disabled.
I felt no and so did ds but am now wondering if as usual I have got it wrong. thanks (2shoes)

MF - I do understand the sentiment that you're articulating, and I agree to a point. I spend a lot of time fielding questions about dd, and try to be as open and as honest as I can be (occasionally it just feels too private to be discussing with some people though). However, I found it sad that in 2007 they had to ask whether a girl like dd would be eduacted. That implies that there's nothing that she could learn, which for me is unbearably sad. However, I know that their intentions were the right ones, which is why I used it as an example of someone who was trying to say the right thing, it just came out wrong.

definatly the older he gets the more obvious the differences, but i tend to pitch my answers to questions according to the audience iykwim sometimes i'm much less pc than others.
One of dh's workmates asked why ds2 was in his major buggy, dh said "Oh he's tall for his age & he out grew his pushchair" He is tall but the poor bloke was so embarrassed, I don't know why he couldn't just give him an honest answer.

Hathor you should ry explaining teh black / brown thing to a child with HFA and semantic Pragmatic Disorder (extremely literalspeech is included in that)- sigh!

This is an interesting thread. I agree with mymatemax about appreciating her straighttalking paediatrician - sometimes excessive pc-ishness gets right up my nose. Also agree with whoever said that the intention of the person using the terms is as important as the term itself - I have a friend who is just lovely with DD3 who has Downs and ASD. And I heard her describe my daughter as "just a bit slow"!! From someone else that would have irritated me no end, but from my friend (in her 60's, generational context is also important) it sounded OK

headgirl. Generational differences in language is also a good point. Also, what is PC now will probably be regarded as discriminatory in 20 years time.

2Shoes - I would say learning disability if referring to someone who has exactly that - learning disability.
But not as the first, only and defining thing i said about them if I was chatting about a particluar child.

Your right theheadgirl, the vicars wife said her husband had asked if ds2 was a spastic, but it was said with genuine interest & kindness & from the only neighbour when ds2 was born to offer practical help & if ds2 is unwell still knocks & asks if she can help.
Just a nice lady but not up with the lingo

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In my work we refer to people as having mental health problems,not mentally disabled, but of course many people who have downs have physical problems, but not always mental health probs.
Sorry if it's been said already, always come in a bit late on a thread

I particularly don't like the teenage slang of "retard" applied to each other, not anyone with disabilities but even so and also "gay" and "old woman" as if those terms were terms of abuse.

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Xenia ds used to call everything gay drove me up the wall. cue lecture about the people we knew who are gay. he grew out of it.

Bit hard to criticise the word disabled when the state body on this is the Disability Rights Commission or whatever it is and we prohibits "disability discrimination".

Perhaps it should be "alternately able"
Personally i would prefer that funding was put into services & support for people with disabilities rather than spending money re-branding & re-naming organisations to be more pc.

Xenia - you were wondering about other terms for deafness. Some use hearing impaired/impairment or hearing loss. Both these terms indicate a loss, a disability, though, so I don't think they are far better to "deaf". When my DS was first diagnosed as deaf I think I preferred the alternative terms as "deaf" scared me, from all I knew it was total, definitive. Now he's 7, wears a cochlear implant, can hear and speak, I don't mind saying he's deaf as I'm not scared anymore about the word. I don't see him as disabled but I know he has a disability - he can't hear without help.

A bit like blind. Something like 80% of blind people can see (a bit) and yet a lot of people think is means completely blind. Visually impaired is more accurate. I suppose totally blind and profoundly deaf are accurate too.

I suppose the most important thing is to try not to hurt anyone's feelings, either the parents of the chid or the child and also the other way round - kicking the OAP verbally in the teeth because she used a word that's out of fashion but was kindly meant is not good either.

Not for profoundly deaf. My DS can hear on his own but only if the souns is >90 dB. The hearing aids used those few functioning hair cells in his ear to boost up the volume and bring it down to 30-40 dB. The cochlear implant works by shortcutting the inner ear and stimulating the nerve directly. We are talking of the years 2000s, though. A profoundly deaf person not long ago would have had zero benefit from hearing aids and the CIs hadn't been developed yet.

Funnily enpough I was criticised for describing ,my ds as disabled.

he is, he's on the disability register, he's registered with a disability social worker.

The PC term in their eyes is SN- but SN includes kids with dyslexia, etc who do need input through school work but will go on to lead full lives. DS3 cant talk, surely there is a level at which disability becomes a functional term?

i always say dd is disabled. sn does not cover it for me. on here I say severley disabled.

I never qwuite know how to describe DS1, but as he does get high rate care DLA disabled is probably OK, do tend towards SN though

Used to work in a unit known as a mental disablility unit and much of my job was 1 - 1 for a chap with downs syndrome, however he was so much at the severe end of the spectrum comapred to other poeple with the same diagnosis in the main unit. Mental disability nursing tends to include downs syndrome though (or it did back in 1992 when I was traing so completely outdated LOL)

DS1's dx is ASD (HFA/AS) with learning difficulties so I think that a stand alone, but one PAed is always different from another

And mental health is indeed psychiatric services under a diferent anme

nursing categories back when were child, adult, mental health and mental disability

As a childminder we are told to discuss additional needs for children

So a child with a temporary problem eg broken leg has additional needs, as does a child with dyslexia

However a child with CP or autism or downs syndrome could (on the courses we go on) be termed a child with complex additional needs

The emphasis is that all children might at some time have additional needs (transition times/family situations/moving house/illness) but that these additional needs can be met by us childminders

I do think it's a bit simplistic - but it does address the "special" issue

If you think that's all bad, my sister asked if i had contacted my local association on mental retardation. I definitely 'overeacted' and she explained that it was the name of the organisation in the US.
I hear they just changedthe name.

Ah America

when people complain about PC I sometimes think we should send them over there to see the alternatives!