DD to start mainstream nursery in November!!

[Dingle]

Back in July i visited a nursery (attached to ds's school) the Headteachedr was lovely, seemed so willing to help, mentioned using part of their SENCO budget to pay for SALT, resources... came away convinced that I had made the right choice.
Had a home visit from the nursery staff on Monday and to be honest I wasn't too impressed with their knowledge regarding SN/SN procedures. The even told us (me & our Portage worker) that to get any additional help dd would need to be statemented.When they left my Portage worker said she was sure that this was not the case and has since checked. They did say that I needed to get any further info from SENCO.
I have a appt. next Monday with their SENCO.
Can anyone give me any ideas on what I should be asking?
I have spoken to an organisation today, called KIds (Parenting Partnership service) who have given me some ideas and are sending me some literature.
Has anyone got any personal experience and advice for me please.I feel so strongly about this- it may just be another nursery entrant to them but I feel it is the start of dd's mainstream experience and if I don't get it right, what chance will she have of attending mainstream school at the age of 5?

I visited loads of schools with terrible attitudes before i found the right nursery for l.
She started at a Montessori school yesterday which I truly believe will be great for her, good attitude from teachers, good all round. Will come back tonight from home and tlak to you more about this.
TC x

Thanks TC. I am sure you will agree it is not something to be taken lightly and I want to go armed with as much knowledge as possible.
How did your little lady get on??
Aww...bless her.. I can just imagine my little A in her uniform..it brings tears to my eyes!

Dingle - couldn't agree more, will be back tonight to give you all my concentration.

L loves it so far, full of beans when her GD picks her up and did her happy hands this morning when she realised where she was

Dingle - hello love. I've not really got any advice to give you now I'm back here, just read that you were asking for questions to ask senco, and I didn't go that route. I just visited loads of nurseries and had a few questions I asked sure but it all came down to attitude and the right feel with me. I liked the montessori way as I thought that Lottie would benefit from structure and most of the play being very educational. Montessori was set up for children with SN in the first place. When I found that out it all made sense and confirmed what i had felt about it. I thought that the focused learning through play with give her a good head start for school when she's 5 as tey will be teching her to write not just draw pictures etc, all the things my OT etc set me to do, so it felt like a huge help to me. Their attitude was great, never saw a problem with anything I threw at them, where i gave them a possible problem they gave me a possible solution. That did it for me. Perhaps if you need advice on questions you should start anotehr thread asking for 'help me think of things to ask senco' ?

Sorry hon', I'm a bit crap!!!

I feel I'm going round in circles. The Head teacher is absolutely lovely, made me feel very at ease, and laid all my doubts to rest. She seemed that she would really go out of her way to fit A in. But the actual staff who will be with her don't come accross very well to me. I have asked other mums, who have NT children there, and they seem really surprised and say how lovely she is. Is it me being paranoid? Can I take that chance?
I do have other options I know, but I felt this one was best all round. Probably several reasons for this.
1.I've have my police check there and I am on standby to go in as a Parent assistant, not may I add,in her class.
2. They know of us all and are familar with our situation.
3. Ds is at the attatched school
4. If she goes to a mainstream school, this would more than likely be the one. She would know most of the children, moving up to school with her.The routine and surroundings would be familiar to her.
Am I silly in thinking ahead, if I don't get it right now, she might not even get into mainstream.
OOOH HELP SOMEONE.I suppose I will just have to play it by ear and see what the SENCO has to say on Monday.

No you're being sensible, it's a really big thing. The only thing is that only you know babes, if it doesn't feel right it doesn't feel right.
I'd keep looking at other schools and go back to this particicular school again as well. Could you ask them if you could spend the morning there with them? How long do you have until you make the decision?

Slowly managing to get some info together before I see SENCO on Monday. I have even managed to get myself on a half day course at the end of the month about Early Action/+ and school action/+.I don't know full details but I am sure I will learn a lot about what SHOULD be on offer to dd. Who knows, one day I might even be able to give help and advice to you all, rather than just take it!!
Thomcat, I have spoken to a Montessori Nursery today, the lady was lovely. She has places that she can offer dd, but she did say for me to visit a few more first- hopefully I'll get this gut instinct that everyone else seem to have. I seem to lack in that department (among many others too,,,heee heee )Her ratios there are 2/12 as opposed to 2/28 in the School nursery- why is everything so complicated?
I know I alway be thinking "should I have done this? Why didn't I do that earlier?"
I just want someone to come along a help me make the right choice so that I don't feel so responsible and guilty if/when things go wrong. I'm a coward aren't I?

How did you get on Dingle?

Thanks for remembering TC.
Don't know really, the school nursery want to take her 1 day a week in November, straight after her 3rd birthday. They would like to see how she copes within the environment and she would then be assessed by SENCO,who makes up her IEP. This plan would set targets for her and the nursery would support her in any way they could to help dd meet her individual targets. This IEP is reviewed every half term!
They did seem to indicate that at this stage their main objective would to be to ensure that dd mixed socially and settled into their routine as easily as possible, Senco did say that they avoided singling out unless it was absolutely necessary, as they found that most children with SN didn't need to be treated any differently anyway for most of the activities. I know dd certainly doesn't like to be different, she refused to eat her dinner the other day until she had the same plate as the rest of us! little madam that she is.
I still have mixed feelings. Don't know whether to go with the flow here or to try a smaller group.

Hmmmmmmm, so still not sure and still all confused about what to do. how annoying. wish I knew the answer but can only tell you to follow your heart with a bit of following your head thrown in to be sensible! I hope you walk in somewhere and just get the right feeling, the reight reactions and KNOW for sure that this is thep place for your little girl.

What would YOU say, as her mother her special needs will be at school? just basic bullit points. What are your main areas of concern?

Hello there Dingle sorry I have only just seen this thread - but know how you feel. Here's what we did - DD (has DS) entered a 'standalone' pre-school because we liked the 'feel' - very unstructured, very child focused, plus it had a pool and this was one thing we knew Audrey would enjoy/ was confident around. We did get a statement in place before she went - I think we had the final statement in November for a Jan start, as the school needed to 'see' the funding to hire someone, and we really wanted them to make an appropriate hire, and not start with a supply LSA (tho ours went on long term sick quite soon and was replaced, with no 'ill' effects at all) Getting the statement was a long and tiresome process - see lots of other threads! - but without it you aren't certain to get the one on one help (tho I know of individual schools who have funded a LSA whilst waiting for the statement to be final, that would be down to individual school governance etc) Hope this isn't confusing you further - I do bang on about the statement because along with DLA etc it is a pain but the sooner you get started...Anyway the thing I logged on to say was despite all the positive noises the school made the actual reality isn't what they imagined - my abiding memory is the Senco blurting out that they wouldn't take a child who wasn't potty trained...quickly contradicted by the head who 'reminded' the senco that they couldn't discriminate along those grounds...but then once she was there we just solved the problems thrown up by her 'learning difficultes' as they cropped up - and overall it was a hugely positive experience.

Thomcat - how is the Montessori going? Ben is due to start one later on in the month.

RexandBex - She seems to love it. I drop her off and my dad picks her up so he gets to see the nicer side of it all. The dropping her off at the door, not going in and settling her in, but literally having her taken out of my arms and having her hold out her arms and say 'cuddle' to me as she disappears in is hard, you know. BUT that's just me being a mum and when my dad picks her up she is really full of herself. He looks through the window and they're all sat round having a story read to them, or something and each time he's been she's been next to the teacher, starring up at her with her big doe eyes, or she's been on the teachers lap. Makes me feel good as she really is the tiniest little person in a room of much bigger kids. Everyone else's feet touch the floor when they are on the chairs except hers!!!

She came home with paintings but off things, rather than just mad scribbles. Little worksheets where they've been holding her hand and starting to teach her how to write the letter a.

She sits in the car on the way home with my dad 'chatting' away ten to the dozen, arms going everywhere, obviously bery keen to try and explain what happened!!!! She's basically totally full of herself after a morning there so not much more I could ask for at this stage.

Thanks for asking.

sounds like Lottie is settling in well, as for choosing the right place, i think you will know when you have found it, in my experience a lot depends on the attitude of the support staff, when my son had a good one things were great, then it changed and he just wouldn't work for the new one, he has gone back to the original one and hes doing great.

Dingle - any more progress with finding something that feels right?

Hi, TC, just reading your thread about "being ready, How exciting, scary, rollercoaster"ish" is that? Will post to you later about that if I get a chance B4 portage arrives.
As to the nursery situation, well????
Visited one on Monday, not strictly Montessori, but run to a lot of their principles. Very nice lady, runs it, has been in the childcare business for nearly 30 years, has also done some portage.
But, they have just had their OFSTED inspection and there is a proble, with their changing facilities. She is not saying that she can't/won't take her though! I am visiting again with M next week.
To be honest I am really still thinking to try her in the larger nursery at the school- if it doesn't work out, I have other options. It seems to have so many positive points. After all their attitude was very good, just concerned about numbers! They will assess dd when she has settled in a bit as to what extra care she will need-in a way I still feel I should give both them and DD a chance to see if it works.
You must know me enough by my posts- I'm such a worrier and sooo indecisive!!
DD should have been mentioned at yhe PIP meeting on Monday, hopefully, now Portage only visit fortnightly, she may eventually get a Home Visiting Teacher to help advise us!!
Oh well, finished my cuppa now, must get on.

I've resurrected this I'm afraid.
Well after all the worry of choosing the right nursery for dd and my concerns about the staff/puplil ratios dd has her 3rd mainstream nursery session this morning. She seemed to be settling in OK, but as I saw it,is OK good enough when you take into consideration that she has delays in quite a few different areas!
As you may know, I have been felling very low and at the moment I just don't seem to be able to snap out of it like I usually do. It has been horrible these last few weeks in particular and I seem to be snapping at the children, then feeling guilty...and so on.
Well I had some news this morning and I hope that it will help to see us all through this week coping with the funerals.
DD has got additional support in place without me even asking for it! I was all set to go into battle so that it could hopefully be in place for her in the new year when she attends 3 sessions a week! Her assistant seems lovely, and I have heard very good reports about her. She has no experience with DS but has worked with children with other SENs.
Had a little chat this morning with her to discuss dd's strenghts & weaknesses and we talked about how they were trying to work around them!
Came away grinning like a Cheshire cat - it's the first thing that has gone right for us in a long time it seems.
Sorry to go on- can't get in contact with DH and I just wanted to tell someone who hopefully understands how I feel.

Dingle that is great news not surprised your grinning.Really really happy for you .

That's great news Dingle - sitting here grinning for you :O

That was meant to be

That's brilliant news, Dingle. It's great when you can get what you need without having to fight for it.

Hope things get better for you soon. xxx

Dingle very glad to hear that your little poppet is getting the help she deserves. My DD has transferred to primary this Sept with the same LSA in place - very successful. I'm sure you've thought of this, but a's LSA went on a few courses run by the DS Assoc I think but aimed to pre-school/transfer to primary, and she found them really helpful. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon X

Dingle thats great news, and I am glad your dd is settling well

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time of things are we still meeting up next week?

Yes Fio, so glad we never organised it for this week - would never have made it!

I am already wondering about how this will change in January when dd will be going 3 sessions a week, should I already mention this, or do you think that they would see me as an ungrateful old cow!
Have asked about dd having a contact book as her helper will be with her at the beginning of the session, she will be with the rest of the group for the last 45 minutes. At least that way I will have feedback directly from her LSA.
Have been to a DSA coffee morning today, the statementing process seems bewildering to me! it's a minefield of every changing information it seems. Still got such a battle ahead of us it seems.

Whooopps...that should be "ever changing!"