Reception auties 2018/19 - thread 2

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thanks to LightTripper for the thread title. This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of dc with autism in their reception year at school. Please join us if you can or, if you have dc due to start reception in 2019, feel free to drop by and ask us questions.

Thread 1

I think I am still in denial most of the time Jeb and things that show me DD struggles are really really hard because I just don't accept it most of the time. I just see it as "DD being DD". I wonder if I will ever get past that stage? I'm not sure I even want to.

Sorry you had a stressful evening danni that sounds scary! DD has had lots of head bumps in her time and DS has had a few but as you say, it's usually just the "keep an eye out" kind.

I've had a horrible evening (non child related issues) and had a big cry on OH which made me feel a bit better but not really. Garghh... I wish life could just be easy sometimes (I know, I know, I do have it easy relative to probably 99pc of people in the world, but sometimes it's still hard isn't it?)

I'm sorry you had a bad evening light, I hope you're feeling better today. Even if you feel you have thing easier than others, you are still allowed to have bad days.

Jeb I know that feeling very well. I think I spend so much time celebrating what are massive achievements for ds that I forget what his progress is actually like in comparison to other kids his age. Sometimes after those kind of meetings I wonder if I'm completely delusional about ds, but then he often doesn't show the school what he shows me at home.
I know you don't want to be Ds's therapist but as a non-professional I have insisted on things like now..next in the past. You know your ds best and it's a bonus that you have professional experience in the area he needs help with.

Glad your ds is ok danni.

Also feel the same about amazon open!

Light I’m sorry you had a horrible evening . Remember that everything is relative and you are allowed to be upset about things that happen in your own life. There will always be someone better or worse off than ourselves but it doesn’t make our own feelings any less valid.

liv I’m sure you’re not delusional about your ds’s progress. Most of our kids are going to progress on their own trajectory and I try hard not to compare how he’s doing with my friends’ sons of the same age (I have 3 that we see in varying degrees of regularity). So far ds has achieved most things, often just later than his peers. Not sure what I’m trying to say here but I understand.

A bit of grumbling again from ds this morning but we were at school on time. He woke very early again because his nose was blocked and didn’t go back to sleep. Hopefully he’ll be ok at school today.

It's so hard not to compare isn't it. Someone at work was saying that I should watch 'the secret life of 4/5 year olds' I think that they were a bit shocked when I said that I found it too depressing when I compared the children to my boy

It's DS's first day back at school after being of sick and I'm worrying that I should have kept him off another day. Having a lousy day at work which doesn't help.

Light hope that things are looking brighter today

Yes I found that show depressing too dimples. I'm sure your ds is having an ok day, it's always hard not to worry.

Thanks open i think it's something all of us go through with non NT kids. It's just nice to be reminded that we're not the only ones going through it.

Thanks all. Had a much better day today, things back in proportion. DD was sick twice in the night last night though, so feeling a bit broken (even though I only dealt with the first one - DH managed to do the second one without me waking up because he is a superstar).

DD was feeling much better by this afternoon, so hopefully she'll be back to school tomorrow and hopefully we'll all get some sleep tonight!

Hope nobody is getting snowed in. Just cold drizzle here - lovely!

dimples I hope your ds was ok at school.

Light glad you’re feeling better. I hope dd is back on form today.

Ds has another cold here. This year he’s taken to constantly wiping the snot down his face so each time he’s had a cold he ends up with chapped skin. Luckily he slept better last night, stirred briefly at 4:30 and I thought that was it but he fell asleep for another hour.

Oh and we had success with a school reading book that had photos of children in it. I’ll ask the teacher if they have any more that he can use.

We have a sprinkling of snow here today.

DS was fine at school healthwise but I think the bug has really taken out of him. He was very upset this morning as the police came in and one of the dogs barked - barking dogs always make him cry. His teacher said that he was 'difficult' for the rest of the day and on the way home he ran out onto the road.

I was just calling him to come up for his bath and discovered that in the two minutes I had been upstairs he had fallen asleep. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help him be more regulated tomorrow ...

Hope DD is feeling better Light and that your DS is over his cold soon Open

dimples I hope you had a peaceful night and that ds is more regulated today.

Ds slept until 6:15 today! He had just over 10 hours which is a lot for him. Dh and I awake at 5:15 though, he has trained us well

Oh no open!! Hopefully you enjoyed a nice relaxing free hour in any case, and it will make for a good day for DS!

I was stuck at work last night but apparently DD had a good bedtime and she and DS were helping each other get undressed (given DS is only 1 I would have quite liked to see this!! ). She seems knackered today - she is better from the sick bug but still has a nasty cough and I think it's taking it out of her. Roll on the weekend!

In other news DS is suddenly a language machine - he's adding about a word a day for the last week, he's probably got 20-30 now in total so given there's another month until he hits 2 he might even be getting towards 50 if he keeps up this rate (which apparently is what they "should" be able to say at 2). All the other babies in my Mumsnet birth group seem to be chatting away in little sentences now but I guess you always notice the ones that are ahead of the curve! He had been going soooo slowly I had convinced myself he was likely going to be on the spectrum too but now I have no idea . Anyway, he's enjoying it and it's fun (DD is enjoying getting him to roll out his repertoire too!) so trying not to read too much into it but it's all good.

Light glad your ds is having a language burst, it’s so nice to see them developing isn’t it and hard not to over think I expect when you already have one ND dc. Whatever the outcome you will be well prepared.

I’ve been watching The Hidden Gem on YouTube (one of the videos was in my recommended list). She has a ds a similar age to yours and she has some good play ideas that I think even our auties would like (sensory play etc.).

Oh brilliant thanks I'll look her up, I'm a big YouTube fan!!

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. Nice here but fairly quiet. We took ds to our local soft play yesterday morning. He spent much of the time playing with another boy which was lovely. This morning my parents came for brunch and then we visited our local garden centre which he loves.

After our 6:15 lie in last week we had a horrid 3:50 start but back to 5am the last couple of days.

Ds still doesn’t nod, shake his head or shrug. Do any of yours use this sort of non-verbal gesture?

That sounds lovely open apart from the early waking.

Not being able to nod/shrug etc can often be a proprioception issue. If he can't see the thing he's supposed to be moving he might not be able to control that movement. Maybe helping him to practice in the mirror so he can develop a muscle memory of doing it? My ds doesn't do them either.

I went on an advanced makaton course yesterday, which was good. Having a quiet day today.

Thats really interesting @liv my ds can’t nod his head and only recently started shaking it, but it’s really uncoordinated. He can’t wave either, just sort of awkwardly holds his hand up and turns it, I never realised how bad it was until my little ds could give a really natural wave by 9months!

Took ds to a birthday party today, we sat on the floor together for a good 45 minutes watching everything happening as he begged to leave, and then suddenly he was up playing with a balloon. Glad I didn’t bail earlier although wish we didn’t have to do the same thing each time we go somewhere new, hey ho.

My ds is really struggling to sit on the carpet during carpet teaching time at nursery - he gets so upset and refusing to sit even if he understands what they’re talking about. Anyone experienced this? What strategies worked?

Well done at the birthday party Jeb.

My ds used to have (and still sometimes does) have trouble sitting during carpet time. Could you get them to give him a mat that is specifically his, so he knows where they want him to sit? Also sometimes wobble cushions can work.

My son the other hand does very exaggerated gestures, especially finger wagging and shaking his head.

We have been playing in the snow and my boy has been on great form. An OT in a local support group I'm in, urged everyone to get out in the snow as it's perfect 'heavy work''. He is not normally very demonstrative but this weekend he has been suggesting that we hug a lot, interrupted his playing to give my leg a squeeze and when I called him 'my gorgeous boy' he said 'no, you're the gorgeous one'.

Well done at the birthday party Jeb - it is so hard to know when to persevere and when to quit. I think at nursery they abandoned carpet time for my boy for a while (and he would go and do activities with his 1:1) as it was becoming very confrontational. When they tried again after a few months it didn't seem to be too difficult for him.

Open wishing you a later start to the day. Liv glad that the course was good.

Oh goodness dimples, did you well up? What a beautiful moment.

Thanks for the tip liv, he loves looking at himself in the mirror so I’ll try that. I’m glad the makaton class was good, what sort of things are advanced makaton?

Jeb my ds started waving at about 8/9 months, did it for a weekend and then didn’t do it again until he was 2. He does wave still but not like a typical 5yo I don’t think, it’s a bit more flappy. Im glad the party worked out well in the end.

Some of the strategies suggested for our nursery and school for carpet time are similar to others: have a coloured spot or may that he knows is his, maybe with a picture of him on it; let him sit on the edge of the group or slightly away at first if that’s easier; initially have him sit for just a few minutes at the beginning or the end, whichever he will enjoy more/dislike less and then build up gradually. That sort of thing.

May=mat. I can’t preview for some reason at the moment

Open there was definitely a tear in my eye. My Mum was there too and she wept buckets!

My sister and I have been writing requests for EHC assessments for two of her children so that was a good to get done. Now to wait for the inevitable refusal. It's particularly tricky for my sister as she works in the school and they have been v slow to act (we need to try another cycle of support ...), whilst my nephews fall further behind and become increasingly anxious.

That sounds lovely dimples! Sorry your nephews' school is not being supportive. It's bad enough to see your kids struggling, without the strong suspicion that there is lots that could be done to help but isn't being done.

Fingers crossed for no refusal dimples. The school should be doing more to help.

Thanks Light and Open. The particularly worrying thing is that my nephews' school is also DS's school. They have not exactly covered themselves in glory here. I worry that some of the teachers have rather traditional views and just see bad behaviour rather than thinking about why the child is not coping.

I am a bit worried about what has happened to me - super excited to discover that there are new episodes of Numberblocks (in fairness we have probably watched the old ones at least 20 times each!)

dimples do you know if the staff have had autism awareness training? Maybe it’s something you can speak to the SENco about if you feel comfortable about it?

I think new episodes of any programme you have to watch regularly is very exciting. For us anyway, not necessarily the dc

We had a rather disastrous play date yesterday afternoon, luckily (if that’s the right word) with a family friend rather than a school friend. My friend is very understanding, thankfully. Ds had several episodes where he didn’t share well or want toys played with in a particular way. The other boy was not perfect either but, my god, ds’s whinging and fussing about it made me cross. I think mostly I was sad because if this continues then this boy will not want to play with ds and that would make him sad as they’ve known each other their whole lives. I don’t know what the answer is, I’m hoping he was just having a (very) off day.