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Am heading towards cracking up- how do you take time out?

55 replies

gess · 16/06/2007 16:58

Any tips? Am floundering.

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Dottydot · 16/06/2007 22:29

Gess - just wanted to say hi and add some crap suggestions which probably aren't realistic/practical, like booking little glimmers of light in advance - a meal out for you and your dh for example? Sounds like everything's getting on top of you and you almost need to file some of it away somewhere in your head otherwise it just gets too scary (I tend to put the money thing at the bottom of my sleepless-nights worries - there's no point!!).

Can you plan extra help for the summer holidays? I can only start to imagine how hard it's going to be without the structure of school days in place - do you get any kind of help at all? Ignoring the money issues (like I do) can you get any extra private help for a few hours a day?

sigh. Sorry - not much use but just wanted to add my hello and virtual support!

frascati · 16/06/2007 22:35

Sorry Gess you are feeling like this. Wish I could wave a magic wand for you I really do.

Sorry to hijack onlyjoking but could I be cheeky and ask for a copy. Have the dreaded forms to fill in for dd and only have a week to get them in (gulp)

It's Blossomhill btw xx

onlyjoking9329 · 16/06/2007 22:48

Scooby, i can't find DS report but have sent one of DD's. Blossom, i had a computer crash so lost all email contacts, could you let me have your email and i will send you DD's report.

frascati · 16/06/2007 23:13

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onlyjoking9329 · 16/06/2007 23:24

ok Blossom, i have sent it, dunno where DS's has gone i have it stored in a safe place
Note to self must check under DD's bed

frascati · 16/06/2007 23:32

Thanks OJ, just received and it is very helpful xx
Did you send it in that format or on a form?

onlyjoking9329 · 16/06/2007 23:35

yes i sent it like that on the form i just kept putting see report.

motherinferior · 17/06/2007 12:05

Gess, if there is anything in terms of wording that I can help with, do just email me. I'll be at my desk all tomorrow.

gess · 17/06/2007 12:52

The DLA form is fine- we've been getting higher rate for years, I'm just copying out the old one, it's just dull and very time consuming. i was meant to be going to sort out a motability car tomorrow- was meant to do it last Monday but ds3 was being sick, now ds1 is being sick. At this rate we are going to run out of car. We're buying from the same dealer as before; does anyone know whether we'll be able to keep the old one until the new one comes in (have to had back July 28th or something).

Very odd, but quite funny night. DS3 woke up crying at 2am - no idea why- the rain maybe. The ds2 appeared at 5am- he NEVER wakes up. "Mummy my pillow and blanket have fallen off" so I told him to pick them up "I can't" he said. Weird I thought, and he came into bed with us. At 7am ds1 appeared just wearing a nappy. Weird I thought again. At 7.30 he was sick. So thought to check his room- covered in sick. Cleaned that up. Just been up to get ds2 dressed and noticed his pillow ad duvet had disappeared "I told you" he said. Searched for them, found them (covered in sick) on ds1's high sleeper bed that he never goes in. He'd been sick, undressed, changed his nappy and just stolen ds2's bedclothes.

My main problem tbh is lack of time. Tomorrow I am planning to go to sort out motability as soon as ds1's school bus goes, hoping to get back in time to do some analysis for research project, will pick ds3 up from nursery at 1pm, then post stuff for ebay/amazon and hopefully direct payments returns (which were due months ago and I haven't done yet). Just time to empty dishwasher load up breakfast stuff then ds1 due home. Assuming he's in school of course which is perhaps unlikely- then everything has to be shunted to a different day, and all days & evenings are booked up already. Getting a job and being able to drop ebay would help a lot.

Dotty I have quite a lot of help booked for the summer, as social services provide us with money to employ people to help out. Generally I've had in people to help me plus his tutors. This year ds1 will be going to someone's house a couple of times most weeks (which will make a huge difference) and if I organise ds3 and ds2 I will get a few hours to myself each week - which will help get the research project done & will give some headspace.

OP posts:
Dottydot · 17/06/2007 15:33

I think that should be your mantra for the next few weeks - "time to myself, time to myself". Repeat as needed and introduce wine and chocolate as often as possible...

Aloha · 17/06/2007 15:50

OMG gess - it sounds so stressful. Money worries just make everything 1000 worse IME.You start to panic, and then you panic about everything.
I honestly suspect ebay is making things worse. I find it is so much work for any return and it hangs over you.
You sound as you are as organised as anyone could be. Do you have anyone who could help by filling in forms? A friend? Your mum? Does your dh have a secretary/assistant who could help out - even with just putting parcels together and posting them?
I would happily do that sort of thing for someone if I knew they needed it.
I also think even ten minutes just sitting in the sunshine when all the kids are out of the house, or even having a short nap might actually increase your productivity.
Good luck. And good luck with the job interview too!

FioFio · 17/06/2007 16:42

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sphil · 17/06/2007 18:30

Gess - I'm sorry, but at DS1. How resourceful of him! And DS2's 'I can't' and 'I told you so' made me rofl as well - just the sort of thing DS1 would say.

gess · 18/06/2007 15:05

I know sphil. PMSL- poor ds2, I can just imagine him fast asleep having his pillow and duvet snatched!

Anyway been forced to take it slowly today- ds1 off school. He was still very green this morning. Had a little sleep. I heard a familiar clink- and he was sat by the washing machine stealing the cranberry sauce, so I guess he's better.

Fio- they won't give us anymore! Actually that is quite bad isn't it. God knows what I'll do if either of the 2 things I've applied for don't come up. There are so few things I can do around a school bus. Although after I've finsihed my research project I will have more time available to do my bits and pieces.

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dinosaur · 18/06/2007 15:09

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FioFio · 18/06/2007 15:35

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foxinsocks · 18/06/2007 15:47

are you going to Oxford without the kids gess? If so, even if you do happen to get surrounded by successful people, I hope you manage to have a little break.

dinosaur · 18/06/2007 16:04

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gess · 18/06/2007 16:08

god there's no way I'd take the kids! I can't imagine what they'd make of ds1 Actually we did take him to college once, he was about 16 months and everyone commented on how well behaved he was (passivity on a baby a wonderful thing!), but I wouldn't take him now! It's going to be a bit rushed, but it will be fine, although I suspect dino has been wiser!

They've all had it Fio, ds3 first, then ds2 now ds1. Just caught him eating cranberry sauce again so he must be better. CAB is an idea. If I get this work it'll be fine, we should at least start to break even & it will start to sort itself out. We're in the same position really as many people I know, but I'm sure things will improve from the autumn.

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gess · 18/06/2007 16:12

oh and ds1 has suddenly (since yesterday!) started trying to sign properly. Hes like a toddler learning words- seems to have suddenly clicked and he;s trying to sign like crazy, so altough it cost us a lot I'm pleased we did do Growng Minds (debated several times because of the cost). If we hadn't done it we wouldn't be having a financial crisis now, but ds1 wouldn't be imitating, or signing etc so it was worth the stress for that.

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sphil · 18/06/2007 16:29

That's brilliant! I found a research article on the ABA/VB website on VB and signing - haven't read it yet but it might be worth a look. Will look again and try to be more specific. I downloaded lots of brilliant stuff about VB and NET.

sphil · 18/06/2007 16:33

If you scroll down to 'Practice' on the left hand menu, it's on the second page - 'Teaching Sign Language as part of a VB Programme'. I haven't looked at it - may be too basic as you've obviously taught him already!

dinosaur · 18/06/2007 16:34

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gess · 18/06/2007 16:36

I'm taking no credit- one of our tutors introduced it (she;s been to several carbonne courses sphil so I'll have a look at the video as its probably similar), but he seems to have generalised well. If in doubt he signs biscuit but then watches and attempts when I give him the correct sign).

Anyone know of a sign for pancake?

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tibni · 18/06/2007 19:15

Good news about the signing.

Sorry to hear that life is so stressful right now. Now both my kids are in school I go to the gym and it gives me the vital "me time". My house is a dump and I am so behind on paperwork but without my "me time" I just wouldn't function!