There She Goes - new series with SN child **Thread title edited by MNHQ**

[WonderBoy]

I've just spotted this:

There She Goes
BBC4 10pm - 10.30pm
First of a 5-part series, starting today - 16.10.18.
1/5 - One Day in the Life of Rosie Yates: It's a typical Saturday for 9-year old Rosie, who has a severe learning disability.

I'll be watching - if possible! Anyone joining me?

[AamdC]

Well its one of your five a day!

[WonderBoy]

Another really good episode. The struggling and trying and forced grim cheerfulness at the swimming pool. The frustration for Ben. The being stared at and challenged. The detective work of trying to work out what is being communicated, and the desperate search for answers about 'why'. The absolute preoccupation with it all. The professional who can't provide answers but sees your child as an interesting case or fact-finding exercise. I kept expecting Rosie to disappear when she was out of sight of Simon in the house and park - my heart was in my mouth. The list goes on. Thankfully some laughs too. I could do with watching it again because I'm so tired I've forgotten half of what I wanted to remember. Very well played by Mum, Dad, Ben and Rosie again.

[WonderBoy]

Certainly is, Aam, and your wine too!

[hazeyjane]

Yes, it was good, dh thought the geneticist was very spot on and it really bought home the fact that so many children remain undiagnosed.

I remember when ds used his AAC device we would have many, 'do you think he means...?' moments.

We stood outside the fire station every non sleeping evening after working out he wanted to say goodnight to the fire engines, for months. Eventually a fireman came out and asked if ds wanted a tour! I hadn't realised we could be seen, and there we were blowing kisses and saying 'night night'! I felt like such a doofus.

[WonderBoy]

Hi hazey. I don't know about you, but I'm not sure the cost/benefit analysis of attempts to diagnose is always right - cost to NHS, impact on child, what will a diagnosis change, is a definitive answer even currently available - such difficult dilemmas. Yet some of us feel we need definitive answers.

Yes, and the eureka moments and celebrations when we finally realise what has been communicated!

Another fire station fan here. Every engine is Sam, every post van is Pat and Jess, and every builder is Bob!

[WonderBoy]

Thank you hazey, you've also brought back a forgotten memory of WB refusing to get out of the fire engine during a visit. After much patience, time and trying everything, an emergency call came in - despite being much younger then, it took 2 large chaps to rapidly 'fireman's lift' him out. Otherwise we would have had to join them on the call out. Fun times...

[livpotter]

Sorry I watched last night then fell almost instantly asleep!

Have a lovely holiday hazey.

That must've been so stressful wonder. Good thing firemen are strong!

Yes the bit in the dressing room where they are having a normal conversation while trying to get a struggling Rosie into her clothes, was familiar.
I also kept thinking Rosie was going to disappear the whole time, particularly in the park.
There have been many times where we look as though we are abducting ds from places!
I also thought they gave the feeling of being stared at really well in the pool scene.

I did think though it was another case of feeling like Rosie has been dropped into the family as I was surprised they didn't already have the visuals set up. When he was taking photo of the paddling pool I was nearly shouting at he TV 'google it'!!!

[SleepySofa]

I like the Dad's friend Helen. She’s giving him proper shit about his attitude.

[hazeyjane]

Aaagh, typed a great long message and it disappeared!

Yes, dh was shouting at the tv too....'why aren't they using visual images? Why don't they use Makaton?' Etc.....the irony being that it's actually me that does all these things, dh...not so much!

The diagnosis thing is hard. It definitely gnawed away at me for years, and even though the constant googling and what iffing diminished a bit, it didn't go away altogether.

We were floored when ds did get a diagnosis earlier this year (DRS study, although ds also in 100,000 genome study)...I swore, dh made a joke about the name and the geneticist said, 'I'm never sure whether I should say congratulations!'

The differences a diagnosis has made for us is - school finally paying attention to behaviours they dismissed or blamed on us, getting support from CAMHS, Drs being able to look at other children with the condition for commonalities (although it is very rare) and the sense of recognition when talking to other parents of children with the same condition (thank god for the internet!)

[SleepySofa]

The detective work really rang a bell with me too. Especially that the mum knew all the medical stuff because of all the research she’d done. And DP has always been much more, “Does it matter, let’s just love him” etc etc.

Can’t believe the dad doesn’t seem to get any better. Sloping off to take pictures and leaving her to do the lunch etc.

[SleepySofa]

I agree that it feels a bit artificial that they are having these communication issues, but I think they have to do it like that to have some dramatic tension - the “detective work” when Rosie’s a baby of trying to find out what’s “wrong” with her, juxtaposed with the “detective work” of finding out what she wants when she’s older.

[SleepySofa]

We actually do know what the issue is with DS - he has a microdeletion. Sadly there’s only one other person in the world who has the same 5ing, that they’re aware of, so we don’t know what it means - so we effectively don’t have a functional diagnosis. I’m the other person with the deletion, and we didn’t know until they tested me after DS was born.

[AamdC]

Ds also has a microdeletrion but how ir affects a person can vary hugely so it doesnt really help knowing .

[IntentsAndPorpoises]

I think they've deliberately made her older, age 9, so that he r behaviours are clearly distinct from any age related behaviour. If that makes sense. But they want to portray what it's like trying to work out communication.

[AamdC]

My son is 8 and non vetbal though its based on a real family and. I think the child is non verbal

[IntentsAndPorpoises]

I know it's based on the writer's family, but there will also need to be some creative license. It was just a thought as to why they seem to have got to 9 without working out picture communications etc.

[AamdC]

Becsuse they have sevete learning disabillities? My son uses PECs but only for what he wants and onlt if he is in the mood some children will never use a communication device according to my sons speech therapist

[IntentsAndPorpoises]

Of course. Some people had commented that it seemed like they had only just met her and couldn't believe they were only just trying things like visuals. I just thought it might be a bit of creative license.

[EggysMom]

My son is 9 and I'd love to be using PECs/visuals - but we haven't even cracked the 'objects of reference' stage yet. When we try visuals he's not even interested in looking at them, let alone associating them with whatever it is that he wants.

[livpotter]

The way I saw it was less about Rosie not being able to understand it and more that the parents hadn't thought to try it at all. Particularly as the mum is so on it generally.

I think maybe intents is right in that they have used some creative license in order to introduce some ideas to people who have no experience.

[IntentsAndPorpoises]

@livpotter that's what I meant, sorry I wasn't clear. It's not that it is surprising that she won't or can't use visuals but that it's only just occurred to them to take pictures of regular places. For example.

There were other comments about previous episodes that suggested that the parents hardly knew her.

[AamdC]

Ah sorry intents i misunderstood , anyway i finally caught up and it was another excellent episode, thw child actress is really good , she deaerves an award imo , i think the brother is also good very true to life and it is unfair on him sometimes but thats the reality i like the teasing very accurate .

[hazeyjane]

Yes, I think the parents not already using these things is a device for the benefit of the viewers (not all of whom will be familiar with the world of non verbal communication and LDs)....

....or they could just be idiots like us who forgot to take the bag with Hazeyboys Now and Next cards, visual timetable and timer, on holiday with them!

I am guessing that Rosie is beyond the stage of objects of reference because she has an AAC device (with a fairly complex grid set) and they talk about her using cards at school.

[WonderBoy]

The firestation situation was handled really nicely liv, so that made it a lot less stressful, especially as I was less experienced with such things then. As was the one time WB dialed 999 when we were visiting a friend! He was obviously hoping to call Fireman Sam and had learned it from watching - facts that I explained to the (very nice and understanding) call handler. I was amazed WB could do it, so it was an eye opener, as well as a lesson learned about keeping phones out of reach!

[WonderBoy]

Dad Simon's friend Helen also grew on me in the last episode, Sleepy. I like the way she's funny, sarcastically challenging him, and also encouraging him to think about his wife and marriage. I still can't quite let go of the 'oh, I really hope not' thought, but perhaps that's just my suspicious mind, having seen or heard it play out like that too many times IRL.