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Anyone have a secondary school child with ASD? Do you have homework problems?

42 replies

SoupMode · 13/10/2018 12:12

DD has just started year 7. We are not coping with the homework. I say we because it's affecting DH and I just a much as DD!

Any tips?

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BGD2012 · 13/10/2018 14:52

Snap. My son is also Y7 and is not great at organising himself. We have a homework diary with his tasks listed each week and I then sign it and add messages for the teacher. The week he lost it was difficult and we had to piece stuff together from various subject books. We spend practically all day Sunday organising him for Monday. He has also lost his PE kit and trainers several times. Grateful for any tips.

SoupMode · 13/10/2018 15:06

Her school have an app for homework, however not all the homework is put on the app.

She doesn't always understand the homework task.

It's taking her 2 hours to do a piece of homework that's supposed to take 30 mins.

DH and I are spending hours helping her with it as she can't do it independently.

The amount arguing, crying, raging, meltdowns over homework is becoming unbearable.

I have received emails from teachers about homework not handed in, that we didn't even know about.

She is also not finishing work in class so they are asking her to finish it at home, so she has EVEN more homework Angry

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April2020mom · 13/10/2018 18:30

I have a meeting with the school to talk about the topic of homework and raise my concerns about how much my stepdaughter is getting currently. When my son is at his therapy appointment downtown I plan on driving to the school with my questions regarding homework each week. This came after I noticed the level of homework she was doing. It seemed inappropriate for such a little girl. What sort of homework tasks are assigned by the school for her to do and return? Are they appropriate for her ability level?

tartanterror · 13/10/2018 20:50

It’s very common for ASD kids to have big problems with homework. Often it’s because schoolwork is for school so there’s trouble when it interferes at home! Ask if school can run a supervised homework club to keep it in school and save you a lot of grief! It should be useful for other kids too

SoupMode · 13/10/2018 22:08

tartanterror to be honest I doubt I'll be able to convince her to stay in school for second longer than the compulsory hours. She HATES school and is out of there like a shot the minute the bell goes.

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tartanterror · 13/10/2018 22:54

In that case I’d be in touch with the school saying there will be no homework done until she’s better settled. If they’ve any understanding of ASD they’ll agree this is a good idea. If they don’t quote he equality act at them. Is she properly on the SEN Register? Do you have an ehcp in place? Start keeping detailed records about her problems and behaviour plus any contact with school. Arrange a meeting with the senco

tartanterror · 13/10/2018 22:56

Sorry that was too brief.... ASD transition to secondary known to be very tough and lots of support needed. Google will give you lots of studies. Ask for ed psych assessment to back you up on homework plus other supports

SoupMode · 13/10/2018 22:58

She has an EHCP. I have a meeting on Monday with SENCO and form teacher. I get the feeling they aren't going to take a request for no homework well. We have already asked for an exit pass for her which they refused. Shitbags. I hate mainstream schools Angry

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Marshmallow09er · 14/10/2018 10:05

OP when are you due for an EHCP review? This feels like the kind of adjustment that should be written into the plan, and then the school have to adhere to it.
If they don't agree to make this kind of adjustments I'd be inclined to ring your LA and ask for an early review.
As a PP said it's a very common problem.
Good luck

SoupMode · 14/10/2018 10:53

Her review is in November, we have already booked it in.

Food technology homework this morning. She has to get a folder for food tech.
Sign contracts to say she will do homework and follow rules or she will get a detention. Rules include "apron must be clean (ok) and ironed (fuck off!)". When did school become so dictorial?? I imagine she will easily break some of the rules by accident just because of her dyspraxia.

Then she has 2 worksheets to fill in.

Anyway argument with DD for 30 mins over the folder. She will not accept she needs a folder. She will not accept the perfectly acceptable nice new plain folder i give her. Tears, shouting and storming off.

And this is BEFORE she actually does any work.

I give up SadSadSad

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SoupMode · 14/10/2018 10:59

What I don't understand is....she's not lazy amd she can work. She is currently in her room, sat at her desk, writing in her notebook. No idea what she's writing but she's done a page full. Why can she do that willingly, off her own back, but not do some homework? I don't get it.

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Marshmallow09er · 14/10/2018 12:39

Is this new behaviour or just worse since starting secondary? It's a huge adjustment.

It's most likely a massive anxiety reaction. My DS, ASD, is a PDA profile and when something becomes a demand he will avoid it at all costs, due to extreme anxiety. It sounds like it's all too overwhelming for her.

It definitely sounds like she needs more support and understanding from school.

If they are not prepared to make any adjustments to a 'no excuses' policy for autistic children then I would really question if it is the right kind of setting for your DD.

My feeling would be try not to punish or pressure her - I know it's really hard when you see the big picture she know she might face detention if she doesn't have the folder etc.

My DS is younger and at SS now (year 5) so I don't have personal experience of secondary, but have read many similar posts over the years. Hopefully someone will have some more practical advice. 

SoupMode · 14/10/2018 12:55

She's always been like this. I have threads I started on here when she was 18 months old asking for help with her behaviour (I've named changed since then).

But it's definitely made worse by stress and anxiety. And it's definitely definitely made worse by school. She was a dream in the summer holidays.

Bottom line is she hates been told what to do. She won't do any clubs or activities where there is instruction (no music, sports, dance, drama, climbing anything). Because she can't bear being told what to do by someone else.

She's a good kid at home when she doesn't have school or homework to deal with.

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Marshmallow09er · 14/10/2018 14:50

I think you have to go to tomorrow's meeting with a list of the reasonable adjustments your DD needs to cope.

Does she have any LSA support? They could help her organise what homework needs to be done for when.

They might have a homework club set up in school time already she can join (rather than out of school hours). If not can they set one up?

Is there a nurture group?

There's no standard set of adjustments because each child is different - depending on how robust her ECHP is / when it was last updated her needs and support requirements should be reflected in there.

tartanterror · 14/10/2018 16:58

Why can she do that willingly, off her own back, but not do some homework? I don't get it

That’s Autism isn’t it?! Can’t get them to focus on non preferred subjects for love nor money!

Why did you choose this school for your DD? What did they offer before you named them on the EHCP?

ALemonyPea · 14/10/2018 17:19

DS2 refuses to do homework, he separates school and home completely. He is in MS and goes to homework club once a week where his 1:1 meets him and helps him do his homework. It’s working well so far.

Speak to the school and see if there is anything similar at school.

SoupMode · 14/10/2018 18:15

She was writing a Greatest Showman medley apparently Grin

I chose the school because it's a girls school (this was v important to DD), it's smallish compared to others in the area, it's got strong pastoral care, the SENCO seemed to know her stuff, and it was recommended by other parent of child with disabilities (although not ASD).

There's no nurture group that I'm aware of, not sure about homework club.

She doesn't have a 1:1 but is getting some support from a LSA at the moment. This isn't written into her EHCP though.

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SoupMode · 14/10/2018 18:17

DD is spending approximately 6 hours on homework a week at the moment. Not sure she'd get that amount if time at a homework club anyway.

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ALemonyPea · 14/10/2018 18:45

6 hours seems very excessive. My Y11 son doesn’t even get that.

My DS2 isn’t very academic, doesn’t do certain subjects and only gets homework for stem subjects as stated in his EHCP. At your DD review, can you request she only gets necessary homework? You can request she has time to do homework at school, either before school, or after. Do they not have a homework club at all?

SoupMode · 14/10/2018 19:13

She isn't given 6 hours homework - that's just how long its taking her. A 30 mins piece of homework is taking her up to 2 hours to complete.

I'm certainly going to be requesting either less homework, or that she only spends 30 mins on it and they accept it even if it's incomplete.

I don't think they have a homework club. I know you can use the library to complete homework after school but this is unsupervised.

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cakesandtea · 14/10/2018 19:51

It never gets better, hw is a huge pain. But any version of 'less' homework will result in lower attainment...
My target was to do it to the same standard for DS, but to streamline and make it efficient and regular. DS was finewith doing maths and STEM on his own though. Humanities and writing were a nightmare.
I used to struggle with that problem with both DC and we tackled it through routine.

  1. The school differentiated hw, so it was structured and specific, sequenced for him to do at home.
  2. The TA would start doing at school some of the tricky exercises with my DD, so she would continue at home.
  3. Once at home, I was trying to make it into a routine. From such time to such time we do this subject. DS, let's get the hw out. Ok, step one is this. DS, what do you understand you need to do for step 1? OK, go ahead, I'll check on you in 10 min. In 10 min: where are we? OK, well done, on this stumbling point, remember last time we did that....
ALemonyPea · 14/10/2018 19:58

Ah gotcha. I think it would take us that long if we had to do homework with DS at home.

I do hope you can get somewhere with the homework. Teachers just don't get that our DC often cannot cope with it.

SoupMode · 14/10/2018 20:06

I don't think less homework will equal lower attainment at this stage. She's only 11. A lot of it seems rather pointless.

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tartanterror · 14/10/2018 20:19

It’s so hard isn’t it? Having a child with additional needs has really made it very clear to me that the setting has to suit the child. It doesn’t matter a fig what others say as their children need different things. Your friend who rated the school and senco undoubtedly needed different things to you and your dc.

My DS is in y5 and we argued for the EHCP specifically to have secondary school choice. The psychologist involved with his eating problems fixed me with a firm stare and told me to get the secondary transfer sorted. I’m now hyper vigilant!! We’ve had such a bad run at primary I’m desperate to find a good supportive (ie flexible and caring) secondary. I’m having to set aside all my own biases. I wanted him to try for grammar but it would be a silly thing to do as he’ll rail against the structure and refuse to cooperate. Kids with his profile are most likely to end up with school refusal. We are 2 years away and I’m bricking it already! Confused

In advance of your meeting make a list of the accommodations she might need eg

  • homework club with lsa support within school hours
  • how to reduce demands while she settles eg little/no homework
  • switch of particularly triggering subjects (often things like PE or drama) temporarily to reduce demand
  • exit pass (although this isn’t a great one as often dc end up out of many lessons learning nothing)
  • quiet room at lunchtime
  • daily contact at end of day with pastoral care staff to decompress and deal with issues before bringing them home to you
  • SALT or OT therapy in school
  • Attendance of school staff at ADHD medication review appointments at local CAMHS.
Etc etc

The above is an actual list of accommodations provided by our local comp for ASD students. There are other lists online or call up the NAS Education Line.

If your school says no then they’re not being reasonable. I suppose you need to see signs of cooperation and if you don’t I agree with the above that maybe you need to consider whether it’s worth the risk of damage to your DDs mental health to stay in this setting.

Fingers crossed they get their act together for you xx

cakesandtea · 14/10/2018 22:13

I don't mean to argue with anyone. Each child is different and parental cxircumstances and choices as well. So not to question you Soup, but just to understand the broader picture:

Since Y5, when she was 9, my DD's class had 3 pieces of hw per week of 30 min, plus maths drill of 15 min per day, plus weekly spelling.

Now in Y7, her peers in MS get 3 pieces of 30 min every day. A few years ago my elder DS had 2 pieces of hw per day in Y7. So it seem the schools have increased the workload.

I suppose the workload including homework is part of the pace of progress for the class, the 'flight path' that leads to GCSE. Without it, DC progress will be slower and GCSE result lower. Or am I missing something?

Is it really possible to keep up attainment without homework, if peers do 3 pieces of homework per day in Y7?