Anyone have a secondary school child with ASD? Do you have homework problems?

[SoupMode]

DD has just started year 7. We are not coping with the homework. I say we because it's affecting DH and I just a much as DD!

Any tips?

I'm in the same boat. DS2, ASD, just started year 7. The homework is so challenging, and he's already exhausted by the school day, trying to fit in and trying so hard to be in the lessons etc. it's really heartbreaking to see his little face when he realises how much homework he has got he feels completely overwhelmed. I've been doing it with him/ for him as I can't stand it and don't want him to suffer or get told off. I have now approached the school and said that I think they need to make some allowances for him as there is no way it is beneficial / consolidating his learning ...

Someone once explained to me that autistic children live their lives in boxes. Home things belong in the home box and school things belong in the school box, so problems start when you try to put school things(ie homework) in the home box.

Another problem is that autistic children sometimes find it difficult to transfer skills, so they are able to something in the school environment, because they have been taught how to do it there, but are completely unable to do the same thing in a different environment.

Our son had all these problems and eventually his school arranged for him to do his homework at lunchtime in the Homework club run by the support assistants. This was a reasonable adjustment.

I would not be spending 6 hours a week on homework. Apart from anything else your poor daughter is probably exhausted from coping with the new school and the school day, and she can't cope with any more work when she gets home. This is why you are having all the meltdowns - she has reached the end of her tether.

I would make it very clear to the school that your daughter is struggling and is extremely stressed out by the demands being made of her. I would also remind them very firmly that your daughter has a disability and is covered by the Equality Act 2010.

Under the Equality Act, the school has a legal duty to make "reasonable adjustments" for students with a disability, so they either exempt her from homework, allow her to do it in school at lunchtime (with support) or come up with some other plan, but she will not be doing it at home.

The Exit pass you spoke of upthread would also be a reasonable adjustment. Not to make reasonable adjustments can be construed as disability discrimination.

www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/resolving-disagreements/discrimination-gb.aspx

www.ipsea.org.uk/types-of-disability-discrimination

cakesandtea - yes targeted homework will be beneficial long term but I doubt that taking a break for a term is going to make a significant change to trajectory.

However School refusal because demands couldn’t be adjusted would cause massive problems however...

It may be that OPs DD just needs a little space to settle and all will be well. Secondary transition is known to be tricky for those with ASD/PDA profile and they are at a high risk of placement failure. Reduced demand might also eventually include only taking 5 GCSEs which is enough to get A levels and a uni place. It’s not the usual route but it’s a damn good compromise.

For our ASD kids we have to be more flexible to deal with their inflexibility. We have to work out how to bend the mainstream system to their needs. I find it very stressful!

cakesandtea sorry I have to disagree. DD learns differently from other children, she doesn't learn by cutting questions and answers out from a sheet and gluing them onto to cardboard to make flash cards - science homework this week. She just gets stressed out because she can't use scissors and it is taking her 2 hours. She is doing P.E. homework and food technology homework - these are subjects she will never going to do at GCSE.

We have to work out how to bend the mainstream system to their needs. I find it very stressful! Completely agree.

Soup and Tartan, I was trying to say that I don't disagree with you in relation to your DD, I am not arguing. I understand that refusal is the risk and transition needs to be managed and that DC are different. My question was more general.

Are our children going to get those 5 GCSE at all without doing same amount of hw, be it differentiated, on those 5 subjects as other students?

Or even broader, how to get to those 5 GCSEat all?

DS likely won't get GCSEs. He might get a BTEC if we are lucky. He is in MS because he doesn't fit in a SS. He doesn't really fit in MS either. There is no school for children like DS, so the setting had to be adjusted around him. No homework is one of those adjustments.

Each child and their learning ability is different. I know a fair few children with ASD and associated LD, and they all struggle with homework.

If homework is targeted with specific objectives it’s obviously beneficial. I’m sceptical about blanket homework given as a matter of course.

Our school rarely gives us targeted homework - swinging wildly between too easy and too hard. I’ve started to resent how it interferes with my ability to spend time with the kids in focussed help for their SEN. It was only our Y4 teacher

IMO not all homework is created equal so I’d not worry too much about keeping up with volume. Personally I’d cherry pick it for benefit if my DC wasn’t coping. PE and Food Tech homework might not make the cut if the pressure was on.... but this might not work for others’ dc

How did the meeting go with the school OP?

It went well thanks @Marchmallow09er

She's dropping 1 subject, this will give her 3 periods a week to catch up on work not finished in class and to do homework, with LSA support. And of course 1 less subject to receive homework from.

Have you read up on pathological demand avoidance? I'm not suggesting that your child has this necessarily, but perhaps some of the ways that avoidant behaviour can be best managed might help you and your daughter? My dd hates being told what to do she gets very anxious when things aren't on her own terms and for I while this included her homework. I told the school that I wouldn't force it on her but that for a while we needed to figure out how best to manage things so that our home wasn't a battle ground. What worked in the end was letting her decide if she would do homework each night but if she chose not too she couldn't watch YouTube. I say "are you doing homework tonight?" If she says no then I say " that's ok but I know you'll miss watching YouTube later". She usually then says "oh yeah I better get my homework done." Maybe this won't work but I got the idea from reading about pda so there might be other strategies which you might find useful.

Yes she definitely has PDA traits. We've always let her have as much control as possible at home and she's generally well behaved and compliant with the things we do ask of her.

She didn't have any problems at nursery because it was mostly free play.

Its ALWAYS been school and other organised activities she struggles with, because of course she has no control at all.

Her brother has ASD and is completely different. He loves an imposed routine, and loves school (special school) because it's very structured. Hated nursery because he couldn't do free play. Of course he can refuse to do things, especially if he doesn't understand or isn't given enough warning, because visuals and timers work a treat. These don't work for DD, in fact they make her worse

That's good about the one subject. Hopefully the three spare lessons will help with some of the homework stress.

That sounds like a good result OP. Hopefully things will calm down at home now.

Well done! Sounds like a great idea. Hope it all gets better for your DD soon

I had this problem with ds in Year 7. He didn't even have an EHCP at that stage. Massive problems with the homework, big anxiety related meltdowns. Homework club not suitable, and not suggested.

You may not want to hear this, but we then took him out of school for two years, did absolutely no homework (it was bliss) but some formal work when it suited us/him/reading, workstheets, copying, a bit of tutoring (without homework). then we sent him back to o school with an EHCP, dropped languages, then slot for langauge became self study, and he for some reason was brilliantly motivated about his work, and achieved truly excellent gsces results, 9 8 and 7/6s.

doing no homework for two years helped him and he has done better academically than both his full timed schooled/homeworked to hilt siblings. Now doing A levels and again completely self motivated with the homework and refuses all help.

ds has achieved far in excess of his academic predictions which were in the region of 4s and 5s. He went into Year 10 predicted a 4 for English and received a 7 and an 8.

fewer subjects
break subjects into manageable chunks
reduce demands
give child the lead
homework should be the servant not the master

Ds did 8 gsces including Drama and History. I think reducing the number of gsces really helped, as long it is the right ones that are dropped (in ds's case triple science would have been unnecessary, whereas Drama helped him a lot and was worth keeping) Because he had ASD there was the assumption that ICT or Sciences would suit him better but that wasnt his forte.