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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Remind me never to go on holiday again

90 replies

Jimjams · 23/08/2004 10:12

And if I ever mention the word "ferry" ever then please take me outside and shoot me.

That's all I'm going to say on the matter (for now ). Might say more when all our bruises and scratches have gone down. Poor old ds2 looks like he's done several rounds with thorn bush. DH's shirt is blood stained. DS1 has even managed to bruise himself from hitting his chin so hard, and headbutting the car window.

OP posts:

Davros · 27/08/2004 10:10

Don't lend them any more books, its a waste of time and you'll probably never get them back!
What we've done over the years is DH takes time off work and we stay at home, usually when DS is at school, and we get a bit of extra help and do nice things together in London, maybe a day trip out somewhere and we hang around the house together! Now DD's here that's not so simple. We've had the odd one or two nights away over the years but the organisation tends to make it difficult and, of course, expensive. We had our only holiday in 7 years last year as we had the au-pair here and it was great but we can't do it this year as we simply can't go on our own without help and we don't want just anyone we can find to come with us, we want it to be someone we like. We asked DH's sister and her husband if they would come with us to the lovely villa in Tuscany we went to last year, we wouldn't ask them to pay anything just their flights and day-to-day costs ..... and they said NO!! So we can't go
Someone already posted about special holidays and I remember a thread a while ago about it. I found this one:
OASIS, holidays for people with special needs. 7 specially designed villas on the Costa Blanca, email helen at oasiswingfield.ctv.es

maddiemo · 27/08/2004 11:30

Jimjams Well done re exam

It sounds as if mil is afraid of disability and uses her own health as a way to avoid dealing with ds1's disability. It is such a shame for ds1 and ds2.
I am not sure if anything would change her feelings. However she will have to accept that the children's needs are more important than hers and that is in danger of destroying her relationship with her own son.

Davros What a pity about sil not wiling to come on holiday. My sister and her boyfiend come away with us and we could not manage without them.

Original poster

Jimjams · 27/08/2004 12:14

I did wonder about the books thing Davros; After all they've had plenty of opportunity to learn. There's none so blind etc.

The camper van worked really well- I think we may need to find a decent hire firm, or hope to win some money! Not travelling too far, and moving often for a change of scene seemed to do the trick.

maddiemo- there's nothing wrong with MIL. The "illnesses" all miraculously disappear as soon as she's spent been able to spend a few hours in bed (which she would do on a normal day at home by herself just for the sake of it) and someone opens a bottle of wine. They're all attention seeking- and I've noticed they're always worse and more intrusive if other stuff is going on. So she was particulalrly bad after I'd had ds2- I'd had a section, we had a new baby- dh wasn't giving her enough attention or something.

OP posts:

Fio2 · 27/08/2004 15:04

its just a maybe jimjams, sorry to hijack your thread. We are going to Guys in october so hopefully will know more then. In the meantime we still havent got my obs notes and have FINALLY decided to take legal action on advice og the genetic nurse.....the plot thickens.

My in-laws are just twats i'm afraid. Sorry to be so blunt! &

Davros · 27/08/2004 19:47

Oh Fio, just asked you about dx on the transport thread! Let me know when you are goig to Guys and if you need a hand, seriously.
BTW, all in-laws are twats ime (MILs anyway)! especially when you're the daughter-in-law as they think you should just fall into the way they've always done things.

Fio2 · 28/08/2004 14:27

Davros, you are lovely, if we need help I will let you know

tigermoth · 28/08/2004 15:12

ahhhh.... missed all this thread . Jimjams hugs and DO NOT GO NEXT YEAR. I am in a rush but will come back to post again.

moomina · 28/08/2004 15:25

Just caught up with this - what a bloody nightmare Jimjams and so sorry

Don't go next year!!! That's the only vaguely useful thing I can say...

tigermoth · 29/08/2004 16:23

jimjams, just wondered - your own mum seems very clued up on autism and helps you out regularly so presumably knows the score. Is it any good her having a quiet word with your PILs - especially your MIL? Ok, they will be talking about your behind your back as it were, but your PILs might feel more able to talk straight when you and dh are not around. And they are of the same generation.... do you think if your mother told them how she deals with things, they might sort of see how their approach is way off the mark and in fact means you just cannot visit them? They are being so incredibly ostrich-like, just seeing what they want to see. My inlaws can be like this too, but not on such a big scale. But whatever - I hope you do the camper van type holiday without visiting them next year.

Original poster

Jimjams · 29/08/2004 19:59

I don't think it would be very welcome tigermoth. My parents have a lot more access to the kids (as they live in the same town and they help!) so I think it would be seen as interference.

More problems tonight. I'm giving up!

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sis · 29/08/2004 20:01

Fio2, sorry to read about your dd .

Jimjams, I have a vague recollection about a thread where you asked whether or not you should go on this 'holiday' - I'm so sorry that despite all the effort on your family's part, your pil did not meet you halfway so that everyone could have a reasonable time. Btw, did you get my e-mail after you replied tomy CAT message?

Batters · 29/08/2004 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Jimjams · 29/08/2004 22:06

oh gosh sis yes I did- thank you very much- I meant to write back and say thanks- but not just thnaks a proper email in reply to yours but I have to admit to being dreadful at keeping up with email (just checked my inbox 2500 unread messages!). I wanted to write a "nice" reply iyswim, but then ran out of time. Eeek. Thank you though I was very touched, and have now replied to it!

OP posts:

Ghosty · 02/09/2004 09:03

Jimjams ... I only just caught up with this thread and I am sending you huge hugs across the miles ........
What a rotten time you had of it .... your PIL sound awful ... they don't deserve you as a DIL or DS1, 2 and 3 as grandsons ....
{{{{{}}}}}

Stripymouse · 02/09/2004 09:29

just found this thread. Jim jams - you poor things - how awful for you, DH and your boys. You must all be left exhausted and fuming.
Well, you have done the holiday thing now and can relax knowing it is over. You have DH?s support about not visiting again under same situation which is a huge bonus (my DH would never have sided against his parents whatever they did/said but thats another tale).
I agree that it would be a waste to lend them any reading material. If they wanted to find out more, they would have done their own research by now. Sounds like they just refuse to face up to the reality of the situation, prefering to think they are just "a bit of a handful" or even "just plain naughty"...I think you were all amazing to have stuck it out for the whole holiday without walking out sooner!
Love the idea of a star chart - school and old routine is just round the corner. :)

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