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SN children

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Original poster

ds starting school - feeling nervous

43 replies

Eulalia · 18/08/2004 10:42

ds starts school tomorrow and I have so many mixed emotions. All the usual ones such as my baby is growing up etc... but all the worries about how he will cope and in so many ways he just doesn't seem ready. Emotionally he seems to be stuck about age 3 and doesn't seem to be getting any older (he was 5 last month). I am on tenderhooks in case he whacks someone. He hit an older girl in the park the other day. Doesn't seem to mind that kids are bigger than him. I know the teachers will be watching him and its a small school and the kids will be more understanding. It's mainstream and I so much want him to settle there but have doubts....

Also he is acting more autistic at the moment. Not cooperating, throwing his food around, shouting at people for doing the WRONG things. I just can't imagine him coping at school. He did do OK at nursery last year but it was a more relaxed setting and in some ways he seems worse now he is older because he has more understanding.

I guess I just need someone to hold my hand ...
Anyone else's child started school this week? I know it is a bit later in England.

OP posts:

Davros · 18/08/2004 21:08

Just want to wish you and him all the best Eulalia, do let us know how it goes. Is it m/s school or special? m/s I'm guessing. Good luck and report in!

heartinthecountry · 18/08/2004 21:18

Oh Eulalia, it is such a big step, and I'm sure its hard enough for any parent, let alone when your child has SN. I am sure your ds will do just fine. But if he struggles then you and the school will deal with that as and when he needs it. Good luck to both of you.

tamum · 18/08/2004 21:20

Eulalia, good luck. Although my ds doesn't have special needs he had a lot of autistic traits when he was young, and they certainly peaked in the run-up to starting school. Once he started school he was like a different child and hasn't looked back since. I know that's too much of a fairy story to be much help, but he thrived on the predictable routine, and maybe that will help your ds? I do think it's possible that the reason his behaviour is like this at the minute is at least partly stress.

My ds is now in P6, and dd is a big P2- they started back yesterday.

Thinking of you.

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 21:33

Eulalia - Wanted to wish you lots of luck for tomorrow. Dd (who is still a baby at 4) started in reception In Jan as her birthday is 31st August, being the cut off date for the year. I was very anxious like you but infact dd is so much better in a structured environment and the progress she made in Reception was unbelievable, well above what I could have ever hoped for. It is slightly different as dd does access the unit but I am sure your ds will be fine. Will you have a home/school book to keep close contact?
Please let us know how it all goes. We have another 2 weeks yet and then dd goes into Year 1. Unfortunately my baby is growing up!

maddiemo · 18/08/2004 21:34

I hope everything goes well for your ds Eulalia. Will he get any extra support at school?

coppertop · 18/08/2004 21:58

I think I know how you feel. Ds1 starts m/s school in just over 2 weeks. There's the whole 'my baby's all grown up' aspect and of course I'm wondering how he'll cope. Unlike most of the children in his class he will only have been out of nappies for a few short weeks, unable to dress himself properly for P.E. (although we had a huge breakthrough today when he managed to put on his trousers all by himself for the first time ever) and will have a whole new environment to adapt to.

I think that the others are right when they say that the structured routine will help your ds. The end of the holidays always seems to be the worst time with ASD.

Good luck for tomorrow and let us know how ds gets on.

anniebear · 18/08/2004 22:00

will be thinking of you and your son, hope he gets on ok.

Let us know...

suedonim · 18/08/2004 22:40

Oh, I've just seen this thread after commenting on the other thread, Eulalia. Lots of luck to ds and I hope he settles in. Will he have a one-to-one classroom assistant?

JanH · 18/08/2004 22:46

Eulalia, I wonder if he is just picking up on your anxiety on top of his own (probably) about starting school? Maybe when he actually gets there and finds out what it's like he will calm down and be OK - hope so - good luck!

Davros · 18/08/2004 22:46

Sorry to hijack. Coppertop, someone gave me what I think is a good idea today on learning to dress. Start by making it a fun thing and have a bag/box of clothes that are too big (DH's cast offs cut down?) as its much easier to get on clothes that are too big. Also put bright marker on the labels to show which is the back and use t-shirts/pants with logo/pattern to show which is the front. Will be trying this out soon.

coppertop · 18/08/2004 22:49

Davros - that sounds like a brilliant idea. Ds1 likes dressing up now and then so he should be fairly willing. Come to think of it he was asking me today if he could put my trousers on (on himself).

Original poster

Eulalia · 19/08/2004 11:11

Thanks for the kind words. actually I'd only just got nervous yesterday as I was totally disorganised due to it being my birthday on Sunday and then a big day out on Tuesday. I was panicking wondering if I'd got everything!

It went so well today, like a dream really. I just hope he is happy when I pick him up at 12.30. The weather had turned better so we walked to school and he stopped to pick a bluebell saying he wanted to give it to our neighbours daughter. It was so sweet . Met her in the playground so he was able to give it to her. I took some photos.

Yes it's a very small rural mainstream school - less than 30 kids in the whole school. There is only about 12 in his class. He has an auxilliary (shared) and some help in the classroom.

It kind of feels unreal at the moment. Now I'll have time to work on dd's speech without interuptions.

OP posts:

Original poster

Eulalia · 19/08/2004 14:16

All went well. There are actually only 23 children in the whole school and just 10 in his class. It's a nice bright airy room. They did some colouring in so it wasn't too academic. The teacher said she couldn't get him to repeat after her - no surprise there then.

OP posts:

maddiemo · 19/08/2004 14:50

Glad it went well. In such a small class at a small school there is no danger of him being overlooked. Hopefully he will settle well as there should be less hustle and bustle around him.
The schools where I live are oversubscribed, 30 in an Infant class and 34 in a Junior class. My ds3 is in a sn unit which takes 10 children and it is a haven of tranquility compared to his brothers 30+ mainstream classes.

suedonim · 19/08/2004 14:57

I'm so glad your ds had a good day, Eulalia. As you'll know, dd goes to a small school (I think the roll is 28, though two new children just turned up on Tues morning!) and the first two years are anything but academic. They begin to learn to read etc but it's fun, fun, fun all the way. Dd is now in P4 and complaining that she has to finsh her maths before being allowed to play! An older girl with SN started at the school last year and, my goodness, she's blossomed over the year, it's a delight to see.

coppertop · 19/08/2004 17:54

Awwww! What a little sweetie. I'm so glad it went well/ LOL at the teacher commenting that ds wouldn't copy.

Davros · 19/08/2004 18:54

So pleased Eulalia, was wondering what had happened. Love the bluebell story

blossomhill · 19/08/2004 22:07

Great to hear that ds's first day went well

blossomhill · 27/08/2004 21:29

How are things going Eulalia?

coppertop · 27/08/2004 21:31

How did the first week go?

blossomhill · 27/08/2004 21:34

When does your ds start Coppertop?

coppertop · 27/08/2004 21:38

Ds1 starts on Monday 6th September. I'm a little less nervous since the Ed.Psych told me that he has definitely been allocated funding for "settling-in hours" but I'm still nervous.

blossomhill · 27/08/2004 21:42

Don't worry Coppertop your ds will be fine easier said I know especially as I am the worlds worst!). I was so worried when dd started in Jan as she was only 4 and 4 months. I do feel slightly apprehensive as dd is 5 on Tuesday and will be going into year 1 on Thursday whereas ds was 5 and 9 months when he went!
Anyway good luck for Monday and please let us know how ds gets on. Will ds be doing half days to start with? Have you managed to get any schools yet. I am so mean but I have told dh he has to do it. It's always me that does things like that and I decided he should have a turn. Am I being cruel?

coppertop · 27/08/2004 21:50

Ds1 has a place at the local m/s primary. He'll only be 4yrs 2mths so he'll be one of the youngest in his class too. He'll be going part-time for at least the first 3 weeks, although if the Head gets her way he'll be going part-time all year. When I met the Ed.Psych this week I sneakily mentioned that going part-time all year would cause far more problems than it would solve -and she agreed.

Yes I seem to be the appointment maker/chaser here too!

blossomhill · 27/08/2004 21:53

My dd was much happier in Reception than Nursery as she prefers the structure so I am sure that will apply to your ds too. I am sure it would be better all round for your ds to go full-time. My dd did but as you probably know she is mainstream but also accesses the language unit daily so not sure if that's why she went straight into full-time.

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