Do you think we parents of "Special Needs" children are more likely to be smokers?

[adamadamum]

Please, no self rightious (SP) posts, we all know the stresses. It must be nice for you non smokers to not have this addiction, but please be sensitive! I used to smoke a little before having my DD (managed to cut down to a couple a day whilst PG) but the stress of all the extra problems and worries makes giving up low on my list of priorities!

I don't smoke in front of the kids, rarely even have one in the daytime, but when they are in bed I use it as part of my unwinding process I suppose. Plus at any really stressful times I feel much worse if I can't sneak away for one, feel immediately calmer afterwards. The stress is just too much to think about giving up but I sometimes feel like I must be considered a terrible, selfish, dirty person because of it. I am one of the people you will see at night outside the hospital, stressed, fag in hand, then waiting for ages to be let in again!

And can anyone send me a few virtual ciggies please? I have run out and have had a very, very stressful day, have even lost my Nicorrette Inhalator thing somewhere (Yes of course it's out of the kids reach but I have a lot of hiding places...!) Thanks xx

I didn't criticise her and I don't think anyone did

if you need something to help you then fine

someone further down mentioned anti-depressants

but smoking is no help

adamadamum,

I really feel for you. I have no idea what your child's special needs are, but I do know what its like to be suicidal. When my son had developmental problems and was undergoing various tests I was suicidal.

It may sound stupid, but it might help if you got your health visitor to refer you to home start or even a community pycharatic nurse. I had a CPN briefly and it really helped me.

Have you got a social worker. Its nothing to do with child protection. Its about making sure you have the resources to cope. For example your child might be offered a free place in a council nursery to give a break for a few hours a day.

I might get banned from Mumsnet, but there are better special needs boards on the web. (Babycentre is good)