ASPERGERS

[bonkerz]

Need some support really. Previous threads linked below to save me writing it all again. Would be grateful for some advice TBH!!! Im not coping very well and am fed up of having to fight for support for my son!!!

here

and here

oh bonkerz, that school is appalling. Whether or not your son has a dx should be irrelevant in any case - they should be aiming to meet his needs. You must feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall, and it really is not on.
Are there any other schools in the area which you could try? I don't think a dx will really make much difference to the school's attitude. Could you get your senco to meet with your paediatrician? I kept getting fobbed off by our senco. ds1 only has a diagnosis of hypermobility atm, though the paed suspects autism. When the senco met with the paed, and the paed told her this, the school had to take the problems a bit mroe seriously, and they discussed what support ds needed.
I think you need some sort of other plan of action for dealing with him at school too, other than them keep resorting to excluding him. What sort of things do you do at home when he behaves innapropriately? Can you suggest a different action to the school?

I'm sorry I can't be more useful, and I hope you get something sorted soon. {{{{hugs}}}}

thanks for the reply, it means alot.
Have really struggled to get any sort of meeting with SENCO TBH. She didnt tell us she had put DS on SN register and has generally been invisible throughout this process. I havent been involved with any IEPs and dont know exaclty what role she plays TBH. Ed psych gave teacher lots of different strategies to try in school but teacher decided last week that it was never going to work as my son is beyond strategies!!!!
Head has spoken to pead to express severity of situation but as yet we havent seen pead.
Have rang only school local to us (20 mile radius) that has a special unit attached who say the without statement they cannot take DS but also that as DS is a high achiever they feel he wont benefit from being in a speical unit!
Brick wall is definately starting to hurt now!!!

how is the statementing coming along?

My thoughts are that even a different ms place might be better than a school that is providing no support whatsoever. His teacher sounds so unsupportive it is unreal, she can't jsut give up on him, it is her job!
It is so difficult, i know. ds1's teacher gets this sort of look on her face everytime I go in to speak to her now. I think you jsut have to develop a very thick skin.

Do you use msn? if you want to chat mine is [email protected]. Hopefully someone with more experience will have better suggestions for you, but I'm happy to provide an ear to listen.

Bonkerz I'm sorry that the school are being so crap about all of this. What on earth would the school have done if you were working FT and couldn't be at home in the afternoons for ds?? Keep posting if it helps. I'm not much good on the practical side of things but am here if you need someone to listen (or should that be to read?). xx

thing is coppertop i do work full time. Thankfully im a childminder so have reorganised things so i can be at home with DS. Have not told mindees parents yet and am not sure how they will feel especially as i will have to help ds complete work etc.

Kelly, have added you to my msn, thanks for that. Statementing not going great. They refused statementing before id even sent back my report to them. When i applied to appeal the lea rang me and said they were reassing so i withdrew appeal. Then letter last week saying after reviewing they still felt DS didnt need statement and now i cant reappeal as deadline from initial letter has past.

Bonkerz

It's one of those situations that has you going round in circles. I would bet that if your ds had the help he is entitled to school wouldn't be half the nightmare it is for him, but because he is perceived to be beyond help by his school he's not getting the help he needs. It's so incredibly frustrating. I wish I knew a way to help.

Hi bonkerz, this whole situation makes me feel so angry with the Council on your behalf. Although I am not an expert in this area I have done a little bit of research as this has got me so annoyed.

You can make a late appeal to the SEN tribunal appealing the Council's decision to refuse to assess your ds. The tribunal can accept an appeal in "exceptional circumstances". I would say your situation counts as exceptional given that your were misled by the Council as you were waiting their decision to reconsider the matter. It may well be that the Council will back down if you make a late appeal to the tribunal and proceed to do an assessment.

I would urge you to contact IPSEA or NAS perhaps by letter if you are having no joy on the phone. They can give you much more detailed advice than I can. Don't let these b** grind you down, they clearly think they can make you go away but you have more power than you think. Remember the more fuss you make the more likely you are to get results. Keep posting.....

thanks all and thanks kelly for chatting with me last night. This support is SO needed right now.
Well picked DS up at 12 as planned today. No contact from head or teacher at all and he was sent home with 1 worksheet with 4 maths questions on!!! He apparently had a very bad morning, no response when i question him except the usual blank expression. He has had lunch and is now sat up at the table doing some advanced maths from a text book i have bought!!! Will send that in tomorrow with a polite note requesting they provide adequate work from now on to occupy and challenge him!
Am going to ring round local schools to see if i can gain any info about SN places available. What i need is a school that already accomadate children with aspergers who would be sympahtetic to what DS is going thorugh and be more patient and accepting of him.

Hi Bonkerz. have you considered a ms school with an attached asd unit? Something like that is ideal IMO.

Managed to find out that as long as the appeal is lodged before Friday (ie posted first class tomorrow morning) they will accept it so i am furiously typing away trying to put across my point as to WHY my son deserves a statement. Cant help feeling i am fighting a losing battle though BUT i spoke with DS this aternoon about changing schools (was doen in a very low key manner) and he said he wants to stay with his friends and would be sad about leaving. It is so upsetting as i know he isnt happy wioth things and he told me that the head really annoys him cos she keeps telling him to be good and he says that makes him angry cos he is really trying! My boy is so special it breaks my heart to think of what he is going through on the inside.

I think sometimes you do have to make decisions on your child's behalf. I suspect your son can't really accurately imagine that a different school could make him much happier. Do YOU think it could? If so, then I think you have to make the decision for her.

Good luck with the typing. If it's reached the point that the school have asked for ds to go part-time then I would've thought it would be almost impossible for the LEA to argue that his current school is able to meet his needs etc.

He might be thinking it's a case of 'better the devil you know'. Change and a fear of the unknown might make him think he would be better where he is but, as Aloha says, it's because he doesn't know how different other schools can be. If you find some potentially suitable schools it might help if he were to be able to visit them with you one afternoon.

Letter and appeal form done and in envelope ready to post tomorrow. Will send first class recorded i think to be on the safe side! My letter is a rambling mess TBH but hope they will seeim a distressed parent. Have really been very blunt and quite nasty about schools total lack of anything!!!

With regards schools, i made a few phonecalls this afternoon but it doesnt look hopeful! The schools which would benefit my son are only available to him if he gets a statement! Round and around we go, im getting dizzy!!!

good luck with the appeal, bonkerz, will be keeping everything crossed for you. xx

Well done for getting the appeal paperwork finished so quickly. Fingers crossed that ds will get the statement and go to a school which appreciates him far more than his current one does. xx

Good luck boonkerz. Don't worry about other schools at the moment. You need to put all you energies into getting the statement then perhaps you can look into moving ds.

Good luck Bonkerz! Blunt no holes barred letter sounds good! Fingers crossed for you and DS.

How much work would you expect to be sent home to compensate for not being at school in the afternoon??????????

My son (MLD ASD traits)was never given work when sent home (unofficially excluded) I kept a note of what we did, in his school home book. Im not sure any one read it! They don't seem to do much work in the afternoon! However the LEA has a duty to provide ? ( is it 19? its on the IPSEA website somewhere) hours schooling a week, so if your child is coming home at lunch time, I would expect sufficient work to make up the defecit! My Ds only came home for lunch itself to miss out playtime and afternoon hunger (poor self feeding skills)so I had a very different situation, so didnt go into this. My sons need was play and positive attention.

HAd aphone call today and DS has appointment on Monday for initial health check. Am hoping they will agree to assess for aspergers!

Had pead appointment today and pead (after an hour of questions) said he felt DS had a problem that was deeper than ADD and ADHD BUt that DS fell into the large grey area and it may take some months to give diagnosis!! Am now in limbo again.

What shall i do about school now though? He is supposed to be part time till he has seen PEad, obviously thats happened but when i spoke to head she said that she wanted it to stay like this!!!

Hi Bonkerz, sorry that paed would not diagnose yr ds. Obviously he wld still be the same ds but a "label" is very helpful when applying for extra help. Did you explain the problems you were having accessing suitable help at school? Are you going to see the paed again?

I still think you need to push for a stat assessment regardless of the diagnosis situation. The fact that the HM is refusing to take yr ds for full days at school is NOT acceptable. I believe the Local Ed Authority have a duty to provide full time schooling for yr ds so they are going to hve to ask them how they envisage doing this. Sorry, but I doubt any other school will willingly accept yr ds at the moment without a statement.

Hve you had any luck contacted NAS or IPSEA. You really need expert input into this situation from someone who knows the system and how to deal with it. I am really sorry you are having to fight so hard to get the support you need for ds.

Hi Bonkerz, I remember feeling disappointed after my sons first paediatric appointment to not have a diagnosis, it was only the beginning of tests , assessments (some forms for school to fill in). So well done at starting the ball rolling with the paediatrician! Are you expecting further appointments or assessments? Will the paediatrician write to school to help them understand?
As regards part time schooling, why does the HT want this to continue? Is part time schooling of any benefit to your DS (rather than making life easier for the school?) ie is it helping prevent negative secondary effects? (like falling self image, nightmares, stressed behaviour, bullying,). Do school need some time (how long?)to put suitable help in place to prevent these things (a quiet place to work, a supportive mentor or working with another class to strech him, funding for support, antibullieing proceedures in place etc). These are the questions I found helpful for my DS. Good luck also with the LEA!

Hi again! After looking at a previous thread (thanks Hansa) ( cant do links sorry) I wondered if the NAS Advocacy in Education tel help line 0845 070 4002 could give you some experienced support wrt the part time schooling etc. (Ipsea is impossible to get through to.) You leave your number and they ring you back after a couple of days.