how can i improve our lives?

[lisa666]

i am a single mum to a 6 yr old dd.
she has not been statemented yet, but i think she has some sort of special needs.
she has poor relationships with friends, and is not easy for me either.
she has poor concentration, some learning delay in some areas (but i think she is clever and very good in other areas) and low self esteem.
because she can't build good realtonships with friends i am having difficulty in our social life, i have been even bullied as well because of her some of her behaviours.
i cant build a social life for us, which makes me feel lonely and her as well.
dont know what to do for that, but i think it is depressing, upsetting me.
my life is only evolved around her needs which is not good for me i think.
i dont know what to do to change our lives for better.
any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
thank you.

bump

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this

I would say your first step would be to see your gp to get your dd accessesd to see if she doeshave any special needs.

Once you know what you are dealing with then you can try and sort things out.

Do you have family/friends around that can help with your dd and support you?

SEnding some cyber hugs!!!!

Yes, I agree, you must face up to your concerns and at try to find out more about your DDs needs. It may be nothing, but on the other hand at least if she gets a DX, you will know what you are dealing with and get some suport and advice on how best to deal with the issues.

I am mum to a 5yr old DD who has Down Syndrome so I can really identify with the needs taking over your life. I haven't found the answer to that unfortunately, but perhaps getting a DX and joining a relevant support group locally may give you some light at the end of the tunnel.

In the mean time, share your concerns here.

thank you very much for your messages Dingle and Frascati.
i agreed her to be referred to CAM. we will start meeting them in may.
i dont know exactly how it works but i guess they will diagnos what the problem is, what she has and tell us what to do.
but in the meantime she is sometimes turning my life to hell.
what type of support groups can be around us after diagnosis or for now?

or is there a web site for this that i can read and support myself atm?

What areas do you feel she is delayed in?

1)poor relationships (which is maybe because
-not understanding the rules
-or knowing and ignoring them
-or she is acting without first thinking)

2)poor concentration which is causing learning delays in reading, numeracy.

and i think because of all of these she has low self esteem.

i have to add: she had some speech delay too.

she is writing some letters and numbers on wrong side.
for example b and d.
2 and 5.

Well MN is a good start.

Do you invite children home from school?

Does she do any after school activities?

Are you involved in any community activities?

Do you make time to do somethnig just for you?

Have a look at these websites...

ICAN

AFASIC

i did invite but we couldnt continue, they didnt invite back,i think people dont want to come close.
and she is generally embarrassing me in public.
i was told she is emotionally immature.
i dont know what community activities are around.
i recently joined gingerbread and will try to find out if they have anything for us.

How about proiritising a few thing at a time and perhaps trying to spend some quality time with your DD.

Things like concentration; is she sleeping OK? how about trying supplements, we give our DD flax seed oil, but others will be able to give you much better advice.

I know it is so easy to be weighed down with all the negatives and worries that you actually have no time or energy to actually enjoy with the DC. Perhaps try a few short but fun learning games. Finish on a high, lots of praise and encouragement, but most of all FUN.

Sorry honey, I am probably not the best person to give advice!

Lisa,anything is good!
Volunteer for something!
Go t othe library.
Swime
Horseride
Join a church
Help oot at school

thanks for the websites moondog.

Lisa,I'm a speech and lang. therapist,have a daughter of 6 with communicattion difficulties and my dh is away all the time,so I kmnow some of what you are on about.

Have you chatted with her teacher?

she is going to ballet.
we going to swimming but every time she is making everybody look at us by crying, shouting, once she kicked me infront of people in the pool, i was nearly falling down.

Why was she crying and shouting?

i am working with school in this aspect, they know everything and they are really helpful.

Oh that's good.

she is not able to swim properly yet, she is running out of my control, i have to follow her everywhere.
it is this way in pool, or in a shopping center.
she doesnt consider any danger or risk.

I think if i were you,I would go to the GP and ask to be referred to a paediatrician.
Don't downplay your difficulties.
If anything,over emphasise them.

It sounds like you need some extra help and it is out there.

thank you very much for your advices Dingle
i really apreciate it.

we worked with a behaviour specialist.
and finally we agreed to continue with CAM.
Gp knows all the situation.