how can i improve our lives?

[lisa666]

i am a single mum to a 6 yr old dd.
she has not been statemented yet, but i think she has some sort of special needs.
she has poor relationships with friends, and is not easy for me either.
she has poor concentration, some learning delay in some areas (but i think she is clever and very good in other areas) and low self esteem.
because she can't build good realtonships with friends i am having difficulty in our social life, i have been even bullied as well because of her some of her behaviours.
i cant build a social life for us, which makes me feel lonely and her as well.
dont know what to do for that, but i think it is depressing, upsetting me.
my life is only evolved around her needs which is not good for me i think.
i dont know what to do to change our lives for better.
any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
thank you.

It sounds liie yuo have good support.
I think you need to be getting on with activities and fun together.
Walking?
Cooking?

thank you moondog for your advices
in the meantime till may i would like to find a good website to see what she probably is having.
then i can see the picture and act according to that at difficult times.

i have to go for now.

Take care Lissa.
Look at the old threads in this topic as well.
Loads of useful info. and a lot of vbery supportive people about too,although it's quiet at present.

Hi Lisa and welcome to the SN board.

Sorry you're having all these worries.

It's good that you are on the way to getting a diagnosis. Hopefully once you know what you are dealing with, you will be able to get some help and support in dealing with dd's difficulties.

Getting out of the house while dd is at school is a good idea. Even a short walk outside can make a big difference. Did you have any particular hobbies or interests before you had dd? If so, could you maybe take them up again during the hours when dd is at school? (unless you are WOTH of course).

The local community centre is a good place to start to look for local stuff. They usually have a noticeboard up advertising local events.

If you feel that dd isn't getting anything out of the swimming, ballet etc then tbh I would give them a miss for a while. If you are spending a lot of time around children of a similar age who have no SN it can often make you feel ten times worse. (I have a 4yr-old and a 6yr-old with autism).

Local support groups can be useful when you find out what dd's difficulties might be caused by. Our local NAS group is very good. They even organise events so that families can go out for an evening and not have to be constantly on edge in case their child suddenly starts screaming, shouting etc. You can also find out useful info about what's available in your area.

Good luck. You will find lots of help on here.

hi all,
thanks very much for your advices Coppertop.
as i said before we have been bullied in school.
there are a few parents in our class who are giving hard time to us.
my dd had some problems with their children. they only just turned 6, no other parents are giving hard time but these few are giving.
new term started and problems started.
one of those parents is actually a bit agresive type, her child didnt come to school for a long time, but when they come problem is there.
my dd doesnt stay away from their children, she just wants to be friends with everyone, making some mistakes like any child, but these few creating lots of problems out of it.
this morning we heard some indirect words from one of those few which upset my dd and made my dd cry-my dd lined up just after their child which i always try to avoid, but in public she forgets everything.
i didnt say anything because words were indirect but they were staring at us.
i went to school afterwards, told what happened, and told that if they have any problems with my dd, they should speak to teacher instead of doing like that in school garden.
its a kind of bullying i guess, isnt it.
these are really upsetting me.
i dont think i have any fault.
i always try to teach to be nice to everyone, stay away from the ones that she is having problems, but she is just forgetting or ignoring what i say, she just wants to be friends.

btw, we live in yorkshire area, and i would like to meet if there is anybody else in this area who is having similar problems and want to share.

Lisa, I had similar problems with my son (age 7 dx LD SLD ADHD). I found the ignorance and nastyness of some of the other parents (who said nasty things infront of my son!) added to the general stress and really got me low for a while. One mother told her son to push DS away every time Ds came near him, another father to thump DS if he ( accidently) bumped into him! However I found I could help my child best when I looked after myself. Understanding (via diagnosis )of his problems helped me to shrug off the guilt thing, just knowing it wasnt all my parenting!! I tried to be chearful and friendly to all ( and got to know some of the nicer carers), and I got to know the kids by helping out on trips etc. The kids themselves are fine and the bullying has reduced (the little boy told to thump my son apologised thats how I know!)I also attended a support group (for ADHD/ASD) before DS had a diagnosis) Clubs (beavers, circus skills etc) away from school have helped my DS, I dont know if my experiences help, but I'm glad you have a referral quite soon. Get out and have fun with and without your dd. Have to rush now. Take care.

thanks a lot Magso.