Had written SALT report through, time to take my head out of the sand.

[mummytosteven]

A very depressing read it was too. Hopefully a little more negative than >S's true abilities - e.g. "S is beginning to search for objects out of >sight, showing that he has the beginnings of object permanence". Conclusion >was "Although his communication is continually developing, S has very >delayed understanding and use of language for his age. There are potential >oncerns about his social interaction at this stage, but this should be >properly investigated by a multi discplinary team in due course, preferably >before he reaches school age".

so from being very positive at the >assessment, feeling he didn't need any further professional involvement, >and she didn't think he was on the spectrum, her views seem to have altered >somewhat. Oh nuts.Time to take my head out of the sand and ask HV or GP for >a paed referral now.>

hello mumtos, my ds is similar to your ds, in age, he'll be 3 in mid May, we had salt in today to observe him eating, and see how he was doing, this is her third observation of him, she wants a colleague of hers to see him now and also to refer him to paed, i know how you feel about head in the sand stance, my dh and I have seen a big improvement in him, but the salt still has obviously quite big concerns about him

salt really thinks he needs one-to-one attention at pre-school level and thinks I am wrong to consider sending him to an ordinary playgroup..

it just feels like a rollercoaster ride I don't want to get on, just wanted to say hello, you are not alone.

at the time both HV and GP chanted at me that S was within normal limits for speech so a referral was not appropriate. And I so wanted to believe them. And without the option for parents to refer, DS was shafted. So you get a child of 3 who is very behind, who is then abandoned for another 10 months on the list.

I haven't complained yet, am plucking up the courage, you are absolutely right though, that moaning on here isn't enough.

Oh and GPs know precisely FUCK ALL about language too. (Sorry for swearing,it is just atrocious.)

Moondog. Too bloody right about the gatekeeping.

Aefond - it's not a good place to be. Do you do MSN at all, we could whinge together about the unfariness of it all . I hope that the paed referral goes well for your child, and that he can go to the pre-school. Have you explained to the playgroup about his speech problems, to get a feel for their attitude, and how much they will be prepared to give him individual time. S is at private nursery (started him at 2.5 for a few sessions with the naive hope that would help his speech), the staff are very kind and patient, so it's working OK.

No apologies needed, I fully agree! So do you think parental concern is the best way to manage referrals?

Out of interest, what sort of level of speech problem should trigger a referral for a 2.5 year old?

MTS it is so hard to say as there are unfortunately so many things that can go wrong.
It may be that in the case of your child the non referral is indeed appropriate.It's impossible to say without an assessment.

Also depends on whether yuo are talking about more global language probems (eg difficulties with eye contact,imaginary play,turn taking,appropriate reactions to everyday language) or pure speech issues (ie the way sounds ar made within words.)

In latter case,we wouldn't expect a three year old child to be pronouncing words perfectly by any means.

Our maxi is that the parents know the child best and if they are worried,that is a valid enough reason for referral.

They may be worrying over nothing but in that case,the one off initial assessment and subsequent chat usually suffices and the nthe child is off the waiting list and everyone is happy.

It's not rocket science.Why can't the powers that be get this???

START KICKING UP A FUSS.
THOSE THAT DO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

Sad but true.

I think you should state politely but firmly that these people are not appropriate or accurate assessors of communication difficulties and that you are therfore discounting their recommendations.

Have you asked private salt for pointers on how to get through to NHS services?
She may have worked there and know the score.

Honestly,you should see some of the utterly off the wall referrals I get from GPs and HVs!!

Thanks MD and Socci for your useful input.

Hi MTS, sorry you are going through this

Do you still have my new msn address? I am not using the old one anymore.

Please bear this stuff in mind,and when you have a chance,read over the ICAN and AFASIC links.These are good people and there are forums for parents going through this stuff.

(My own daughter has communication difficulties so I have the perspective of a salt and a parent.I know how not to get pissed about.)

bh no - i'm milkfloatquack (at) hotmail (dot) com

hope that your DD's difficulties are soon resolved MD. Have looked at those forums quite recently, they seemed a bit quiet, will take another look in case they have livened up a bit.

Have added you mts x

\link{http://www.sensetoys.com/index.php?r=N4EMAXJ8AJ|I've had this bookmarked for a while.They even recommend MN as a good resource in the links!}

Not trying to freak you out but they seem to have some good resources.

And again.

mts I just cat'd you

maybe we can compare notes on stuff we are using and finding helpful, I feel directionless atm

I have looked at moondog's very useful links, but tbh I was hoping the salt would have given me some ideas today, it feels like the goal posts have been shifted for my ds, and really not sure what to do until we get the next round of observations and meetings

thanks MD, GREAT link, the front page showed a book for £12 that sounds good, about encouraging interactive play in children with ASD. I am not freaked at all - ever since I have read about delayed echolalia I realise that there is quite a possibility that DS is somewhere on the spectrum.

Oh good!
Have a look at those links to the left too on verbal play and non verbal play skills.Very good.

yes I feel very alone too. Nursery for all they are good at the individual attention for S have been very flakey about getting formal help for S via the early years/senco system. If you push not much is immediately available, and if you don't push, god help your child.

So sorry that you feel alone.
Everything is so much easier when there are people to help you thorugh it.
Please check out those chatrooms another time.

this is why I come online to whinge at you all here and pick your brains Moondog . Seriously, I can talk a bit about this to DH and a few RL people so I am not completely alone, but it's only online I feel that people really understand as they have been through it and/or are knowledgable.

What is lonely, is the prospect of taking DS to loads of toddler groups/storytimes (have been recommended to by the private SALT to help his social skills) where it will become increasingly obvious how behind he is. I hate it when people on public transport/in shops try and ask him his name etc and get no response.

I know how hard it is,believe me.
You sound like a wonderful mother.
With wonderful parents,these children will be ok.I promise you.
It is exhausting and demoralising to battle for your children but this is unfortunately how it can be.

We can either slink away thinking that the 'professionals' know best,or we can arm ourselves with the wealth of information that is out there and come out fighting like lionesses.

Be strong for your little boy MTS.

I'm off to bed now but am happy to talk anytime you need to.

XXXXXXX

night night Moondog, and thank you so much for being there with this and my other threads on the SN section.