my sisters son is hitting her but she's keeping quiet

[duke]

I don't know what to do. My sister has a severely autistic son who has started hitting her when he doesn't get his own way. He isn't violent at school, his social worker knows about him hitting her, she has been told to ignore him and not give him a reaction, he wants her to cry as he knows this is when she gives in. The problem is he is hitting and really hurting her, more now than ever, but she won't tell her husband because she knows he will say it time they thought about residental care for him. He's 13 and she isn't ready to think about that yet. He has hit one of the other children but she didn't tell the social worker. I'm concerned for her, she is like a battered wife she covers her bruises, I'm the only person she has told, but I know she's not telling me everything. Can I do anything? I feel like talking to her social worker, but is this the right thing to do? I am concerned about her and the other children.

Just spoken to her, she has a new SW and he is going to try and help her with some extra respite days for the easter holidays, which will be a massive help. I won't talk to the SW I know this will cause trouble. I have sat in on meetings with her and his doctors and promted her to tell the facts as it were. It's a desperate situation with no real soloution.

Jenk1 - only trouble with my DS is if I say if you do this you'll loose XXX (probably computer time which is mot probably the thing which has got him upset) he gets even worse!! Maybe just repeating DO NOT HIT ME will do the trick for him. Funny how I forget all these strategies when you're I'm in a situation!!

Duke - I know how your sister must be feeling. To be honest I sometimes feel emotionally and physically abused!