Anyone regretted the move from mainstream to special school

[Stradbroke]

We are on the verge of moving my DD from mainstream to special school. This has been something that I have been thinking about and working towards for so long and now we have nearly got there I have the fear.
She is 8 and will be going in to year 4. She has full time 1:1 and is working at P levels and 1b.

She finds learning very difficult and has huge problems with concentrating and doing what is asked of her. The senco says she only spends about 30-40% of her day in the classroom and says herself that she is not included despite their best efforts (mostly because she can't cope with the demands). The EP went in recently and essentially said that most of the TA's time is spent getting DD calm so that she can attempt to learn. Her 1:1 thinks she would do better in a special school.
BUT it's not perfect. Most classes are lower functioning than DD although the class she would be in are like her. Although it is a small class (10 max) and I really liked the head and all the staff in fact. They are at about the same level as DD and it would obviously be more life skills based than currently. She would go swimming every week. This would make her so happy!
But she will not be in a mainstream environment anymore. No more local school and seeing your school peers at the shop etc. This does count for something. The school is out of borough and we have been refused transport so there is a chance I will have to stop work to get her there and back every day. It's such a massive change. What happens if it's awful?

I know for her sake I have to try it but I feel so terrified of the unknown. And so sad at the thought of her leaving the only school she has ever known.

Good luck to you and your DD OP! :)

I just wanted to revisit this thread as we have now completed 2 weeks at SS and it is wonderful.

It feels so good to be out of the intensity of mainstream.

They do interesting and exciting things everyday (she is always going to the bus somewhere), it is happy and she is learning, but without that constant pressure.

DD seems happy. The first week she talked about missing her old school, but she hasn't mentioned it at all this week.

Everything is positive. She is no longer a problem. Even though her mainstream school adored her and did their best they can never provide what her school does which is an education that fits her.

So far I feel relieved with the decision we made and I feel like a weight of worry has been lifted from my shoulders.

That's lovely

I'm so pleased.
It will only get better I promise. Be kind to yourself, it took me about a year to unwind from the stresses of it all before We made the move and even once, I was still on edge. Every day gets a bit lighter.
I'm over the moon your DD loves it.

DS has also had a happy first 2 weeks at special school. He's had a couple of run-ins with other boys and he does still miss some people at his old school. He said the other day 'this school rocks and sucks'. Apparently 'all the school stuff' is what rocks and what sucks is getting up earlier and not always having time for breakfast (need to tinker with our timings on this front). Trouble is my DD is also not doing well in mainstream and so I am wanting the same for her!

Thanks all.

This morning I talked to her teacher as when she is anxious she shouts at her brother. This anxiety is linked to school and in mainstream was constant. When I used to mention it I would get a blank look and be told "well she seems really happy here"

Mentioned it today and they took it seriously and will create a feelings board like she has at school so she can try to manage her feelings better.

They just get it don't they? And they believe me rather than just shrugging and thinking it's not their problem.

Shybut - glad to hear your DS's first two weeks are going well as well. How old is he?

I don't doubt it won't all be plain sailing but it is certainly better.

Yes, it's nice to be working on something hopefully sustainable and productive rather than just being The Problem. He is 9. Of course it's a much smaller school and what with the randomness of 'special interests' I don't think he's found a fellow Marvel Avengers enthusiast so we have to take an even more vigorous interest in all that than we did before but it's a small price to pay. Might consider moving closer if the journey becomes too long and tiring.

DD has just cried all the way home because she misses her old school and hates her new one

I think it is the journey and missing being in the same school as her brother and being at school where she lives and being able to walk home.

It's only a 20 minutes drive but it is on the motorway and feels a long way I think.

She is in the bath and seems calmer.

I have to remember all the tears I used to get about wanting to move school last year so it's nothing new.

DS has only just returned - was asleep most of the way home apparently! Most of the adults DS misses are the ones he used to run to in the 'Hub' (pastoral place). Do have a bit of a pang when he talks about Child A says this/Child B says that and it's someone he last saw in July. I'm sure it will take time. after all hanging onto things/people is an autistic trait in itself.