Anyone regretted the move from mainstream to special school

[Stradbroke]

We are on the verge of moving my DD from mainstream to special school. This has been something that I have been thinking about and working towards for so long and now we have nearly got there I have the fear.
She is 8 and will be going in to year 4. She has full time 1:1 and is working at P levels and 1b.

She finds learning very difficult and has huge problems with concentrating and doing what is asked of her. The senco says she only spends about 30-40% of her day in the classroom and says herself that she is not included despite their best efforts (mostly because she can't cope with the demands). The EP went in recently and essentially said that most of the TA's time is spent getting DD calm so that she can attempt to learn. Her 1:1 thinks she would do better in a special school.
BUT it's not perfect. Most classes are lower functioning than DD although the class she would be in are like her. Although it is a small class (10 max) and I really liked the head and all the staff in fact. They are at about the same level as DD and it would obviously be more life skills based than currently. She would go swimming every week. This would make her so happy!
But she will not be in a mainstream environment anymore. No more local school and seeing your school peers at the shop etc. This does count for something. The school is out of borough and we have been refused transport so there is a chance I will have to stop work to get her there and back every day. It's such a massive change. What happens if it's awful?

I know for her sake I have to try it but I feel so terrified of the unknown. And so sad at the thought of her leaving the only school she has ever known.

We have just accepted SS secondary placement for DS as have been told he won't cope in mainstream. Not sure if it is the right decision. He has good cognitive ability, but is very behind (level 2 for literacy) couldn't access SATS etc. I guess we'll never know

My ds is at a specialist school and has been for four years. He has a "spikey profile" in that he has very profound literacy and numeracy issues but other areas where he's 90th centile. He would never have coped in a MS environment and I know that, but there are still lots of compromises at his present school, the main one being social as he struggles hugely with his colleagues and many of the other kids have social, emiotional, behaviour issues which he doesn't. We get him involved with lots of out of school clubs to meet lots of other kids etc but then that can be an issue as he literally can't access any kind of written task. Nothing is going to be ideal in my experience but go with your instincts.

Tainbri, nothing more to add, just to say your DS sounds very much like mine . I can only hope we have made the right decision with the specialist placement. We are not prepared to throw him into the 'lion's den' in mainstream

My ds went left ms nursery early to start ss four days after he turned four. It was not an easy, obvious decision and the ss shared their concerns that ds might be too capable and with too much language to find peers at a ss school. His ms nursery cried when I told them as though I was throwing away his potential by moving him. It was fucking awful.

Well, we have since been told he is a perfect fit and there is not a day that goes by when I don't thank God I'm not trying to defend him from ms schooling expectations and exclusions.

It does have to be the right school for the right child but it was in our case and I am seeing my son grow up relaxed and comfortable in his own skin and fitting into his environment. He can be free to be his very own, utterly brilliant, unpredictable and quirky self.

All these years later (DS is 9) I'm still gobsmacked by how life was comparatively peachy when DS was at nursery but turned irrevocably into a nightmare once he started mainstream school. The nursery (with the possible exception of one woman who had an autistic grandson and with hindsight I realise was trying to hint to me about 'issues') didn't have a clue, sweetly describing DS and DD as 'freethinkers'. I've never been able to decide whether I'm annoyed that it wasn't picked up or grateful for the halcyon days of blissful ignorance.

It's very difficult. If DS was academically able, in terms of accessing the mainstream curriculum, had a minor delay in his speech and language skills and a few social interaction difficulties. I would of left DS at mainstream but work on us others areas of need, by sending in a therapist of some sort into the school or a unit. DS is above average cognitively but his S&L difficulties make it very difficult for him to learn. I could of waited I see how he pans out but didn't want to take the risk.

I've known some children who are very sociable, good speech and language skills but for some reason they are not able to access the mainstream school curriculum, very very behind in their work. Teachers don't have time to go through extra stuff with the child as they have XYZ to do.

It's very difficult and depends on the needs of the child.

Ds moved to Indi ASD SS & life is so much happier for us all. He was extremely unhappy & self harming previously. So it's been a positive move. I have friends when have children who have moved from MS to generic SS who aren't getting on as well. Mainly due to lack of peers & the level of the work.

hope you don't mind ne joining in I'm in very similar boat I'd never even considered SS until my 12 yr old boy's CAMH's worker mentioned it .

I'm in turmoil as my boy is very acedemically able but struggle's with anxitey and socially,he has a host of diagnosed condition's and is eligible (depending obv on ehcp) toattend a very local SS for HF autism/social communication difficulties children

He is currently home schooled doing inter high as he couldn't manage HS but is struggling getting out to socialise ,

Ireally am torn and would be intrested in other's experiance

My 8 year old boy with Down Syndrome has just moved to full time at special school and I really understand where you're coming from.
Both me and his dad agonised over it because we want him to be pushed and reach his potential, but mainstream really wasn't accommodating his needs...he was getting very frustrated with the demands put on him so his behaviour deteriorated which the school couldn't manage. Now he is there (and only started full time at the beginning of last week) he is calmer, he is sleeping better, and home life is so much easier. So, my reassurance to you is that their happiness is the most important goal, and to be in an environment where they are expected to conform to mainstream rules, for my son, he wasn't at all happy.

My DS2 started at mainstream nursery and moved to SS at reception age. A SLD school where he was one of the 'able' pupils. He didn't talk til he was 5... now he never shuts up.

At SS he had FRIENDS... and while we briefly considered mainstream towards the end of primary... they would have taken him in their SN 'unit' what swayed me was the fact that in SS he had peers..and genuine friends, all with differing disabilities.
He was never going to get GSCEs no matter where we placed him, but in SS he was happy, safe, felt loved and because he was one of the more able pupils, he has good self esteem, which I strongly suspect he would not have as a 'learning disabled' person in mainstream. (he has ASD and LDs)
He's 20 now and I can honestly say we have never regretted our decision to go down the special school route!

StillMedusa I wish there was a like button for your post!x

Used to teach in secondary special school - at parent's evenings I would hear the same thing over and over again - "my child is so happy here".

In special schools, the child is the main focus (rather than the education of the child), and only once the child is happy and settled can the learning begin. The teachers know how to deal with all sorts of children from challenging behaviour to the wide gamut of special needs and will have internal guidelines and processes in place and work together to make for a better learning experience than 'normal' teachers can / want to. For example as a student teacher I received one afternoon of special educational needs training which was totally useless but ticked the box that the govt set out for the training course. So, in a mainstream school, children with sen don't really have their needs fulfilled on many different levels.

It really is a different experience to mainstream and I think once your child goes, new friends will be made and can hopefully settle for learning!

Can I ask those whose DC are at special school a question - what levels are your DC and other children working at please? I have a 5yo DS who is starting mainstream primary in September. he is going into reception, as we deferred him for a year. He has ASD and severe speech and language delay and disorder.

We've done an ABA programme at home for nearly two years and he has made huge progress. Very spikey profile, but eg his phonics levels are right for his chronological age, despite him being around 2 years delayed across the board when we started ABA 2 years ago.

Ive seen SN units attached to mainstream schools and special schools. In (what I thought of as) the best of the units, the most able children at 11 years old were working at Year 1 levels. Obviously, I have no idea how DS will continue to progress or not. But indications are that if he is working at age appropriate phonics now, he may be able to achieve more than Year 1 levels over the next 6 years. And that is partly why I don't want him to go to special school, much as I see the social aspects, care and other support as being superior, and there is of course the possibility therefore that DS might be happier at a special school in the longer term.

My son is working at year two levels in Year six. So there really was no place for him. Fortunately our LA seem to have woken up to this fact and set up a new unit at the special school for ASD pupils with slightly higher ability.

WellTidy it's not about really about that. It's how a child's difficulties can severely impact their educational needs. As an example, a child can be really bright but due to their difficulties ( delay in speech and language for example) they are working below than their peers or what they are capable of.

Your child may be very good at phonetics but I wouldn't take that that he may be fine long term ( he may be, I don't know !). Over the years, your child's needs may change, sensory difficulties, communication difficulties, attention difficulties and because of those difficulties your child may struggle (even though his bright) to keep up with the curriculum and hence falls behind.

It's all about finding the right balance. Your child has been having 1:1 ABA so he has been getting a lot of direct teaching. In mainstream schools, typically a child has to learn to work within a group, listen to the teacher, follow the teachers instructions and get on with it, with minimal help or direction. Some children are not able to do this and need a 1:1. So your child may be a bit different in that set up.

thanks for starting this thread OP, so interesting! DD is currently in MS and is being supported well - so much so that I doubt a MS secondary will be able to supply the same support, and since her big issue is with transitions I think the whole classroom situation at secondary will be too much with her - and so am seriously considering SS for Y7.

Besides secondary provision I guess I would want to know about six form stuff, and transition into the real world? I guess all SS focus on this but I do worry that the SS would be a lovely bubble and then when provision is lessened at age whenever it is (I forget when EHCP is supposed to go on till) a SN child will be less equipped to deal with it, even taking into account their SN. I'm hopefully wrong about all this.

Your best looking at independent specialist schools as some can cater to children who are bright but have difficulties.

You saying your child has a severe language disorder worries me as through the education years is very language based and increases. Eg, learning about division, times (again language), English, story writing ( again language) etc.

lucy depends on the school. Not all SS are bubbly. Plus isn't it best to give your DCS as much support as early as possible, so when they do get older, they can manage and can do well with less support ?

Hi notgiving. :) Yes for sure, and the teenage years being esp tricky it would be wonderful for DD to go through them successfully. I think some SS don't go up to 18 so something to check out...

At the risk of making sweeping generalisations, I do think that most parents of children with special needs who are broadly keeping up academically tend to soldier on in mainstream unless the problems are really severe. My DS is year 4 but working at Reception (reading and writing) and Year 1(maths) levels. We are trying to leave mainstream ...

I just wanted to thank everyone for their contributions to this thread. It was so helpful to hear people's experieinces.

We have decided to go for it. Staying in mainstream is not an option. We visited the school again with DD's TA who liked it and thought it would be good and this morning DD spent the morning with her new class.

It went really well. She fitted in, already seems to have made friends (in the way that ASD children do :) ) and the teacher was really happy.

Her TA froms school stayed with her and she was really happy. DD will have another morning and then an all day there before the end of term and then she will start in September.

Dare I hope that this might work out for her?

DD1 is 11 now, going into year 7 in September, and has been in SS all of her school life. When she was first dx with SN, she was delayed about half her chronological age (spiky profile). She's now probably between (old) level 1 and level 2 in core subjects (MLD). She's learning to read, using a mixture of Read, Write, Inc., which the school has introduced in the last term, and Headsprout. She can read a large variety of words and sentences, but often makes substitutions for words that she knows and seem similar. Her writing will always lag due to physical difficulties and I think her Secondary will need to look at typing or dictation long term (primary tried but she stubbornly insisted she was a writer!).

At SS she is popular, successful and an individual with many strengths. She is not weak, a victim, to be pitied or accommodated. She is just DD.