DD1 has been offered a different secondary special school than expected...what to do.

[lougle]

A bit shell-shocked earlier, but it's wearing off now. Virtually all of the children from DD1's primary special school (complex needs) go to a nearby secondary special school (complex needs) for year 7. The only exceptions being children who need residential placements, or parental choice for out of LA placement (because we have two unitary authorities neighbouring us, so a school can be 'out of county' but closer to a home address).

It was always assumed that DD1 would go to school 1. In fact, it was assumed that her whole class would move up together and would likely stay as a class group throughout secondary school. She is very close to her class members and they have been together for between 4 and 7 years (some transferred in for Y3 onwards).

I was given her 'My Story' form, completed it and stated School 1 as preference for continuity and peer group. Then, her draft EHCP arrived and I was at that stage asked my preference. I once again stated school 1 for continuity and peer group. Today, I received her offer letter, stating that a place is available for her in school 2.

School 2 is a MLD school rather than complex needs, although it does take a wide range of SN including ASD.

I don't know what to think. She finds her peer group hard, but she also loves them dearly. She's very vulnerable. But it is probably academically better for her and they have a strong focus on life skills for independent living. A trusted source told me that you usually can't get places there for love nor money, so I don't want to lose a good opportunity for her. It's so hard!

It's so hard, isn't it. DD1 is superficially able and sociable, but it masks a complicated little mix of problems. I let her use Roblox with her sisters. I thought nothing of it. Except (it turns out) that you can't disable chat and very quickly somebody had been rude, and her sisters suddenly said "Mummy, Millie's swearing at the person on chat!" She has no understanding of how much trouble she could get into.

Today she was sent home sick from school. I got trapped behind a queue of minibuses getting ready to pick children up, so her teacher brought her out to me. Her teacher said 'remember, missy, if mummy says you're too ill for school tomorrow, you can't have a tantrum, because you can't help being unwell.' DD1 replied 'yeah, and who cares about the golden certificate anyway? Who needs one of those?' with a doubtful look on her face. Her teacher looked really confused and glanced at me questioningly. It clicked, and I said 'ohh about 18 months ago school started attendance awards, but then you ditched them because it made the kids anxious. DD1 got really upset when she missed school because she wouldn't get her gold certificate.' She'd remembered it and still associates it with being ill.

Baycroft have fitted us in for a visit at 10.20 tomorrow.

We visited today. We think it will be good for her. She liked it, too. So we're going to accept the place and go from there. Brave new world!

They were lovely. My main concern was that on paper it sounded like they dealt with 'normal kids' who were just behind in their academic learning. When we got there, I could see lots of older DD1's.

It was all very daunting. The things they described seemed so far beyond her, but then I remembered looking at her year 1 class when she was in year R, and seeing their self-portraits. I remember clearly saying 'DD1 can't do a self-portrait!!' Ok, she was no Picasso, but at the end of year 1 she had done a pink splodge self-portrait.

They focus on functional skills. Life skills. Independent living skills. So that's good. I was particularly impressed that I saw a girl (through glass) who clearly had SLD getting 1:1 maths input and the woman said that they always give intensive support where it's needed. Likewise, I saw a boy getting 1:1 support, and his teachers said he was considered gifted and talented so he was having 1:1 support to boost him for his GCSE maths.

DD1 was particularly taken with their Friday afternoon fun reward system. Good behaviour during the week means they can choose what to do on Friday afternoon. They can choose cooking, sewing, lego, ice skating, using the Wii, football, etc.

Brilliant update. Hooray for another LA curve ball you can run with!

Glad you liked it!

I'd heard good things about all schools on that site. My Ds is in the Ms there and has gone from a child who couldn't manage school and being assessed for an EHCP to one who is getting support as needed and probably doesn't need one!

Ooh we might have to do a RL face to face coffee or something, youare. It was amazing to see all the hundreds of bikes lined up today!

Ooh, and they don't operate KIDS at Baycroft as Osborne do, but her KIDS co-ordinator at Shepherds Down has just decided to change the age range to 4-15, so she'll still be able to do KIDS at SDS.

IT also operates at the SS up the road where I am! Don't know of logistics transport wise but it does weekdays after school!

And yes to meeting.

Loads of kids at crouton cycle because it's flat and cycle routes are everywhere. DS doesn't because we are so far away and he woukdnt be safe IMO! but he may do as he gets older!

Which SS is that? She can access any as she goes to SS...options are good.

Have sent pm.

Ignore the fact autocorrect changed my name and gender on the end

Glad the visit went well and that you think it would suit your DD.