I am so sick of my fucking SEN life

[Mrsmaudwatts]

I am so sick of it all. The relentless fucking groundhog day of ffeelinlikeg the crappiest parent on the planet I wish I could just fucking runaway from it all.

This is not what I expected my life to be and it's not want I expected for my dcs or my but here we all are. Stuck in this shitty situation that has no end in sight. I can't do anything at all to fix anything. I'm just powerless and angry and fed up of the whole fucking shebang.

I'm totally wallowing because our situation isn't even that bad. But I want to scream I Am fucking sick of it!!!!!!!!

I'm sick of teachers. Of school. Of fucking books and experts and well meaning people and people who don't give a shit. Everything and everyone. I'm sick and tired of it all.

But tomorrow I will suck it up and try and drag my family through another shitty day and cry myself to sleep.

I can't be alone?!

Can I join you on your island? It's not so much the children with SN that I find so hard, it's the system, some of the professionals and the mammoth task of organising everyones appointments, meetings etc. Also the way if my dc get something from the family fund or if they don't have to queue at LEGOLAND there is always someone who says we don't deserve it or it's not fair on the nt/healthy/non-sn children.

The system is royally shit. I'm tempted to go to the council building and beg and cry in person. No one seems to listen. When people say a diagnosis opens the door to support I'm always tempted to laugh as the support here is minimal at best.

Yes, although now I'm recognised by professionals as "mother of child who has aspergers syndrome" rather than "over anxious hypochondriac mother" which helps a bit when he does something that most nearly 10 year olds wouldn't do and I have to explain to a dr why he swallowed a £2 coin and why he is reluctant to tell anyone what happened.

I have to try and get my 3 year old an ehcp soon. My mum thinks that if he doesn't get one that means he doesn't need special school. I'm far more cynical and know that the LA will want him in mainstream because it's cheaper. And because he has an unknown syndrome it's really hard to get advice from people who have been through similar. He is very like children who have downs syndrome except he has hydrocephalus and a cleft lip/palate instead of the heart problems associated with people who have downs syndrome.

I find the support here is quite patchy and you have to really look for it. I'd had dc with SN for 7 years before someone thought to tell me about the local monthly SN drop in group. Some professionals are great (DS4's paed and portage worker) and some just give me a patronising look and tell me that they see parents with children who have much more complex needs than mine do and who cope much better.

Seems it's a constant battle. Support seems woefully inadequate in most areas. Everything is a fight.