2.1 year old girl Autistic traits

[LondonSE17]

Hi Everyone, first post, longtime lurker and desperately need some advice

Last week my 2.1 year old girl had her review with the HV. HV was very concerned with her lack of speech and said she is still a baby but should be acting like a little girl and showing her things like her toys (showing off basically - daughter was tired and a bit moody as due a nap

Anyway after the HV left I started to have a look online about speech delay, and come across lots of info about Autism...I nearly died inside as everything I read described my daughter perfectly. I called the HV and told her I want to come back and see her as in the first meeting I was taken back and it didn't really sink in. So I went back to see her and she agreed daughter does have some autism TRAITS but these could disappear once her language is sorted. She also reassured me she seen a lot worse in autistic 2 year olds.

These are the things I have noticed about daughter

Doesn't respond to name
doesn't point to things she wants
poor eye contact
completely ignores strangers if they say hello
leads me and throws my hand at things she wants
a rapid head growth 4 percentile to 75 percentile between birth and 8 weeks
flaps but quite subtle compared to videos I seen on youtube
spins a lot whilst looking at hands
stares in to space sometimes
does this little dance thing where she goes in a circle and goes up and down with her foot
doesn't understand commands apart from bath and bed
is on gluten free diet from 12 month as was waking all night with wind (has no allergies though as had her tested at private doctor)
doesn't like me invading her space, pushes me away
she will play a bit with me, she likes to hide under the covers with me
she plays running games with her dad and will run away from him laughing and seek me out to "protect her" in their game
prone to tantrums and hard to get her out of them
tries to eat sand, crayons, even mud (yuck)
with the sand eating I thought she grew out of it but has started again
likes spinning pram wheels but will do in for a minute or so not hours
Same with her toys, like opening and closing doors of the toys but will quickly move on from this
she can count to 10 and even read numbers. Like if she see a 7 on the wall she will say seven
knows some colours
knows most the alphabet
knows some words, like apple, baby, bubbles etc and can recognize and identify these
never calls me mummy
bad sleep ( tho this has improved since I stop letting her play with ipad)

Ive always had my hands full with her but I just though she was strong willed and independent, now I'm seeing her with the rose tinted glasses off.

I guess what am asking is this : Is there any HOPE she isn't autistic?!

Also for my own peace of mind I would like to do a private assessment also, so any recommendations in Central London?

Thanks for reading :-(

My daughter is a little older at three and her six year old sister has asd. Youngest was diagnosed with coeliac recently and has serious language issues. My middle dd was an utter nightmare. I was frequently told I had the patience of a saint with her but numerous people. Early intervention didn't help as she just couldn't engage and her concentration was poor. She also has ADHD and is now medicated. But she's doing amazingly now. She's about to be signed off from salt as her language is on par with her peers. The typical communication that comes with her autism holds her back slightly as does her behaviours but she's in mainstream with an amazing 1:1 and she's so much easier these days. We can back and fourth conversations, meltdowns aren't as frequent and sometimes she's easier than the seven yr old nt kid. Her youngest sister is very hard work at the moment. She's due to go to panel for her autism assessment this month. We're not sure as we know coeliac has done a lot of damage and her relationship with both sisters isn't great as she's basically left to it as they play a lot and her middle sister (asd) has always had issues with her.

Just keep doing the things she likes doing. It's hard and scary but only 7% of communication is verbal so the seeds of communication are there.

@LondonSE17 How is your daughter doing now?

Absolutely fine . Pretty advanced academically - especially in reading and literacy. No issues at school, has a bestie and is happy.
Don’t really have any significant issues with her . If only I knew then that everything would be ok 😊

@LondonSE17 is ur daughter diagnosed with autism or not? Is she doing well. I have same concern so rply me