2.1 year old girl Autistic traits

[LondonSE17]

Hi Everyone, first post, longtime lurker and desperately need some advice

Last week my 2.1 year old girl had her review with the HV. HV was very concerned with her lack of speech and said she is still a baby but should be acting like a little girl and showing her things like her toys (showing off basically - daughter was tired and a bit moody as due a nap

Anyway after the HV left I started to have a look online about speech delay, and come across lots of info about Autism...I nearly died inside as everything I read described my daughter perfectly. I called the HV and told her I want to come back and see her as in the first meeting I was taken back and it didn't really sink in. So I went back to see her and she agreed daughter does have some autism TRAITS but these could disappear once her language is sorted. She also reassured me she seen a lot worse in autistic 2 year olds.

These are the things I have noticed about daughter

Doesn't respond to name
doesn't point to things she wants
poor eye contact
completely ignores strangers if they say hello
leads me and throws my hand at things she wants
a rapid head growth 4 percentile to 75 percentile between birth and 8 weeks
flaps but quite subtle compared to videos I seen on youtube
spins a lot whilst looking at hands
stares in to space sometimes
does this little dance thing where she goes in a circle and goes up and down with her foot
doesn't understand commands apart from bath and bed
is on gluten free diet from 12 month as was waking all night with wind (has no allergies though as had her tested at private doctor)
doesn't like me invading her space, pushes me away
she will play a bit with me, she likes to hide under the covers with me
she plays running games with her dad and will run away from him laughing and seek me out to "protect her" in their game
prone to tantrums and hard to get her out of them
tries to eat sand, crayons, even mud (yuck)
with the sand eating I thought she grew out of it but has started again
likes spinning pram wheels but will do in for a minute or so not hours
Same with her toys, like opening and closing doors of the toys but will quickly move on from this
she can count to 10 and even read numbers. Like if she see a 7 on the wall she will say seven
knows some colours
knows most the alphabet
knows some words, like apple, baby, bubbles etc and can recognize and identify these
never calls me mummy
bad sleep ( tho this has improved since I stop letting her play with ipad)

Ive always had my hands full with her but I just though she was strong willed and independent, now I'm seeing her with the rose tinted glasses off.

I guess what am asking is this : Is there any HOPE she isn't autistic?!

Also for my own peace of mind I would like to do a private assessment also, so any recommendations in Central London?

Thanks for reading :-(

Thanks for replying. I did MCHAT, score was 12 :( High risk.

HV got me a gp appointment for tomorrow so she can be referred to paediatrician for assessment and SALT but also I'm taking whole day off work tomorrow to go to "chattertime" where they can refer for SALT immediately (cut out the middle man) HV also referring us to "ppp"? some behaviour group I think
HV is very proactive and wants to get ball rolling asap

she is my only child and I don't really have friends with kids (despite being 33!) well more like don't have the time (work full time etc) so she goes out with her dad to soft plays in the week and me at weekends to all sorts of places (science museum etc) but has no regular friend so to spk. I mentioned this to HV as I said I will pay for her to go nursery early (400quid monthly for 2 full days a week) she thought was good idea but to get all the support things in place first. Maybe she has been to isolated? ive never let anyone look after her either....I take her with me everywhere (tantrums and all) - she is very exhausting

I will check for Montessori Nursery but they may be more expensive, my local one is good price I think..but if it helps I don't really care about price..ive been saving since she was born for lump sum for her when she is older for uni or something...now that just seems like a pipe dream..

Maybe I should give up work but then I wouldnt have the finances to give her the best chance :(

I know what your saying, I just cant sit around and do nothing though feel useless!, cant wait to see GP etc tomorrow. Ive read so much online since Friday, I feel like I'm going to explode with the frustration of not knowing and the grief feeling..like I have lost something

How has your little boy developed ?

That's the sad thing,, she is not that enjoyable to be with right now, constantly whiny and spends a lot of the time dragging me to the kitchen to pick her up in there to look around. Though I am trying to engage her more with playing..reading etc is just out of the question

But I do enjoy taking her out and watching her play..though that's not exactly a pinic either!

Its the future I worry about for her

ill watch that when I'm home from work.. she can read numbers and some alphabet

Hi, not in any way an expert as still waiting for assessment, but my dd is 4, shares quite a few of these traits and is a delight, doing well at school, and I am still (secretly, of course) expecting her to go to Oxbridge and rule the world. In fact, her absolute intransigence and determination makes me even more sure that she will be an excellent benign dictator.

So don't despair of the uni fund yet! I haven't.

Thank you, how was your DD at just turned 2? did her behaviour improve? HV has reassured me that she will be a different little girl once she communicates.

Its hard to understand cos she crawled and walked very early 6.5 and 10.5 so I thought I have a very advanced baby..she met all her milestones early

At the moment I have realised it likes having a giant baby not a little girl (this is what hv has said also)

Oh bless you. Please don't panic (easier said than done I know). I think at the beginning it is so hard because you worry about what your child's future is and when they are just 2 it is hard to tell how disabled they are, will be, etc.

My DD is 7 and has ASD. She is more disabled and behind her peers than I thought she would be BUT it is really fine. She has SO much personality and brings me SO much joy that whilst her disability causes me torment it is not because it has changed how I feel about her. And in fact her disability does not cause me torment it is finding her suitable schooling and seeing her struggles which causes me torment.

You are in shock at the moment and your mind is running at 100 miles an hour. Try and slow down, enjoy her for who she is and your path will become clearer.

Good luck :)

Agree there do sound a few red flags there (especially the lack of pointing, reciprocal sharing and ritual stuff). But it is VERY early days.

Daphne Keen is very well respected for private assessments. Also the London Children's clinic (Harley St). We took ds there for S&LT assessment some years ago, I'm not home atm but can look up the name of the therapist there, she was extremely good.

Prob worth reading through this board for past threads on early support - if it turns out your dd is fine it won't do any harm to help her with communication & development in any case

Hi, I have been reading all the old threads also and saw threads about Daphne Keen but also its a pain to get an appointment and she assess by what you tell her mostly..i want someone to really look at my child and interact IYSWIM

Please I would really appreciate the Harley st details. Does your DS have ASD?
How did they assess?

I know its very early days but ive read that early intervention is the key for the best development. In the US they start from as young as 18mo and some children have even lost their autism "tag"

I do think early intervention is v important. I have two with asd. I did early intervention with my dd and it has made a huge difference to her. It is in fact the one thing that I have no regrets about. She is still autistic and has many problems, but she has learnt basic skills and it made a big difference to her communication skills. This is the hardest time where you are unsure and have had a massive shock. I would however spend a bit of time going through the NHS assessments and getting to grips with what difficulties your dd has. She may or may not have autism. There are things you can do to help her, but take your time. Personally I would not rush to give up work. You will probably need your wages! It will give you more choices about the help your dd gets.