It may help you to know that ABA is the standard treatment for ASD in America and several other countries, including the Scandinavian ones.
It is only in the UK that there is this weirdy attitude towards it. Misinformation and superstition still persists here, which I find it hard to get my head around.
Another thing to know is that ABA is literally the only intervention for ASD with any evidence base behind it. There is none for TEACCH and even less for the cheap eclectic provision which most children are subject to in this country. And less still for the benefits of SALT/ OT.
Yet prejudice remains, with a couple of regular posters predictably popping up on every single ABA thread to denigrate it.
There is nothing woo or cruel about ABA, in fact practitioners go out of their way to provide fun and joy. Cruelty lies in the 'ah bless' attitude that was the alternative for my son. Low expectations (he'll never speak) and vague, meaningless targets.
Of course we should respect the voices of those with ASD. But only to a point. You've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. So why should they speak for my son? My NT daughter hated going to school for years. Does that mean it's cruel to send children to school? Or that it was her individual experience.
My son is unable to make a YouTube video articulating his likes and dislikes just yet, so no one is hearing HIS voice. But I am. I hear it in the way he cries out for his (ABA) school all weekend and races through the doors every single time he arrives there. I hear it in the giggles and permanent smile he has on his face while there. And most importantly of all I hear it when he SPEAKS. The thing we were told he would never do. And I hear it when he can play with his siblings, learn through imitating them and others, and self calm instead of throwing things and screaming.
I wish that, just once, the 'autism community' would hear his voice, and that of lots and lots of other children like him. And that those who are able to speak and and articulate well don't try and claim that it is less cruel to 'respect' my son's autism by leading him on the path to institutionalisation as an adult.