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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Ineed to share this!

61 replies

Ineedmorepatience · 21/04/2015 17:42

Exciting news! The decision is made, from July Dd3 will no longer attend school.

I habe begun to take steps towards HE including buying a handwriting rescue pack and phoning the schools music service to check that she can still attend her after school band once a week!!

I am very excited and Dp is showing signs of enthusiasm as well which is about as good as it gets from him.

Cant wait to tell her now but just need to wait a bit longer.

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StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 18:38

You will be knackered. But it's the knackered that you get from an afternoon in the park watching your child practice a social skill you have been working on, or a tiring day-trip to a fun place of interest, or a week of working on a challenging maths concept that they have at last finally grasped AND generalised.

And life skills can be learned so much more easily in real life when shops, parks, pharmacies, roads etc. are all quieter.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 18:40

If I sound mega-enthusiastic it's because I've been doing it for over 2 terms now, established a routine, a system of boundaries that work for me and ds, - and got through February!!!!!!

Original poster
Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 18:54

Hmm good thinking streaky we will definitely do a typing course of some kind too. I think the writing thing is worth a try because no one has ever tried properly to teach her but no I wont flog it!

starlight I have been signposted to a forest school group that meets one day a week and a community garden project that some HE friends go to. There are a few HE groups around, some are more unschool than I probably want to be and I will need to see how Dd3 fits in.

I am hoping that she might be able to return to scouts which she hasnt managed since September, if she is not so utterly exhausted due to school she might be able to cope with it. She was well supported there and did love it. Plus her band that she can continue with.

And yes I can always come on here for a moan Wink

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Original poster
Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 18:57

I am glad you are enthusiastic starlight, I am trying not to be niave but I am very excited about all the ideas that keep popping into my head Smile

I will have to start writing them down so I dont forget them by September! Confused

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streakybacon · 22/04/2015 18:59

And life skills can be learned so much more easily in real life when shops, parks, pharmacies, roads etc. are all quieter

Oh yes! Independent ravel training was a doddle with ds because we did it at 10am mid-week, when there was nobody around. So much easier than faffing about in the evenings and weekends, especially when you fact or in after-school stress. I couldn't teach ds anything in the evenings when he was at school because he was incapable.

I'm quite envious - you've all this to come Wink.

Original poster
Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 19:28

I cant do anything with Dd3 after school at the moment streaky ! Some nights she goes to bed before tea and I have even had to wake her to eat! That is not how a lively 12 yr old should be!

I hadnt even thought about travel training but yes it would be good in the day time Smile

As I say I will have to write the ideas down!

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StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 19:36

Exactly,

You'll come across people who say 'I don't know how you do it, I can't get my child to do ANYTHING. Trying to get them to do their homework after school is traumatic!'

Of course it is.

4pm - 6pm for most families is the Witching Hour. You're trying to get them to do something set by school, that you have no control over with regards to its intrinsic motivation, at a time when your kids are shattered from school, with all their pent-up anxieties and excitement, and you are trying to make dinner and/or getting them ready for some further exhausting after school activity.

That is NOTHING like trying to teach your child according to their interests (and yours) 9:30-12:00 in the morning, followed by lunch, followed by science/art/outing/discussion/gardening/chilling/tennis/baking/shopping then a break then a possible mainstream after school activity.

(not saying you need to aim for what I have written here, but it is what works for us, you'll find your own optimal pattern)

streakybacon · 22/04/2015 19:36

As well as HE groups and workshops, don't forget there are loads of things you can access in the community that really help with developing strong social skills. All the usual things are still available - swimming/sports, drama, brownies, dancing. Ds hardly does any HE-only stuff nowadays because there's so much other stuff going on.

streakybacon · 22/04/2015 19:37

Oh! Oh! And you can do loads of evening things like theatre, cinema, shows etc because you don't have to be up early for school in the morning Grin. I LOVE that bit Grin.

streakybacon · 22/04/2015 19:38

AND ... when it's a lovely day, you can just say "Fuck it!" and go the seaside Grin. There's plenty of time for Maths tomorrow, when it's raining Wink.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 19:39

Oh yes. DS was in a special school, but pretty much all groups he does now are 'mainstream' and most after school. He wouldn't have been able to do them actually after school.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 19:41

Bleugh, I'm still stuck with the school day and the school run........ Fuckin it and going to the seaside isn't so easy Sad

Dunno when dd is going to realise that she's better off at home. Perhaps year 3/4? She thinks her teachers are Gods and nothing fills her with such great pleasure as being awarded 'Star of the Week!'

Original poster
Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 19:42

Yes, our swimming pool is open for lengths from 12-1.30 everyday which we want to make the most of and yes I hadnt thought of going out at night! Grin

I was thinking as well that we could do written work in different places eg, library, garden, out and about generally so that she doesnt feel like home becomes school. I dont know how I would achieve that but I would like to try Smile

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streakybacon · 22/04/2015 19:43

Oh-oh, she's been assimilated by The Borg Wink.

streakybacon · 22/04/2015 19:44

My friend and her daughter used to go to a country park and sit at the picnic benches to do academic work Smile. They'd take food, and the dog, and have a paddle in the river afterwards. Bliss! And they got such a lot of work done too, because the environment was so lovely.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 19:57

We covered the whole of the science curriculum and vocab on plants for years 1,2 and 3 in Kew Gardens one day last week.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 20:00

Ahhhh, DD is a bright September girl. She's going to thrive and question no matter what. It's interesting watching her. Though she's got good teachers she'd still do well, which makes me Hmm because I have one child who NEEDS explicit teaching who never received it at school, and a child who doesn't need teaching at all and so will thrive anywhere which makes me question the point of schools at all.

Original poster
Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 20:00

Ha Ha Ha streaky Grin

Dd3 and I love wild swimming too so could combine geography, some science and biology with a quick dip in a lake somewhere Wink

Wow, startlight that is some going!! Schools waste so much time dont they!

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MooMummyMoo · 22/04/2015 20:31

I hope you don't mind me popping up on this thread but I have loved reading all your comments and wouldn't rule out HE at some point in the very distant future (dd who I think may struggle with school is not even school age yet!)

But, a question, and hopefully (but probably) a completely stupid one... With HE, what happens re exams? Do your DC still do GCSE's etc??

(And again sorry if this is a really stupid question)

MooMummyMoo · 22/04/2015 20:41

Hopefully 'not' a stupid question....

Oh dear! Maybe I could do with being HE'd myself!!

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 20:41

Exams aren't worth figuring out until you are close because it keeps changing.

However, currently it appears to me (and I'm too far away to have a concrete feel for this) some LAs have 'exam centres'. Some kids do IGCSEs. Some kids do online school. Some go to college part or full-time as they can take them from 14. Some jump straight into OU degrees if they can prove they are capable.

MooMummyMoo · 22/04/2015 20:42

Ah ok, thanks Starlight. So, lots of options then.

That makes HE an even more appealing option.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/04/2015 20:51

Yes. I get the impression that nothing is standard and figuring them out can be a bit of a pita, and that also criteria and arrangements change regularly, which is why when they are years away there isn't much point in researching them.

but worst case scenario I guess is that they could return to school for GCSE years if they can cope.

Original poster
Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 21:06

We have a small "Free" type school near to us that offers vocational courses from yr 10, Dd3 has expressed an interest in going there to do a music course which can be continued into 6th form.

GCSE's/A levels are not the be all and end all and we learned that with Dd2, she struggled massively to get the required Gcse's to get her a ticket to college but when she got there we realised that she could have gone a different route which is what has given me the confidence to not worry about Dd3!

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MooMummyMoo · 22/04/2015 21:12

I guess it is just knowing that there is an option of some sort of qualification and that by HE I wouldn't be setting DD up for further problems down the line. My own education was very standard so it's a whole new world to me - probably for all of you too which is why I hoped you wouldn't mind the ignorance of my question. Thanks all x