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Supposed 'joke' e-mail - when will things change?

35 replies

chonky · 29/09/2006 21:33

I was forwarded a supposed 'joke' attachment today on e-mail. When I opened it I very quickly realised that it was taking the blatant p*ss (and that's an understatement) of a couple with learning disabilities' wedding.
Comments included 'so is this what you'd refer to as mentally handicapped?', and 'let's hope they don't breed', amongst others. I opened it and felt absolutely crushed - how can anyone think that this is funny, and something that they should be forwarding on, especially into the inbox of a parent of a child with profound learning difficulties?
It just made me so, so sad (that someone in the future could be posting pictures of my dd to laugh at for example), and so depressed in the sense that there are still people out there who think that adults with a learning disability aren't entitled to make the same choices as the rest of us (oh, and it's ok to laugh at them too). Feel gutted really
Sorry - just feel better for posting it here.

OP posts:
chonky · 01/10/2006 16:52

Hi - unfortunately (or fortunately!!) she only sent it to me and one other woman, who sits opposite me at work so saw my complete reaction on Friday, so the 'reply all' won't work. I will compose something this evening and send it (will let you know what I write), as I don't want it to be left unsaid.

OP posts:
charleypopspreviouslyntt · 01/10/2006 16:55

good for you, I know it'll be difficult x

chonky · 01/10/2006 17:22

OK - this is what I'm planning to send....will leave it as draft, in order to reflect, for a few hours before I hit the send button.

I have to write and say how saddened, and angered, I was to receive the attachment that you sent to me at work on Friday.

The attachment showed a couple, in my opinion with quite obvious learning difficulties, on their wedding day. This was then accompanied by a completely offensive narrative regarding their disabilities, their appearance and their right to have children in the future.

As a parent of a child with learning difficulties, it completely shocked me. I felt sick to the core at the idea of someone laughing and gawping at pictures of my beautiful, happy, smiley daughter, or any of her peers for that matter, for their 'amusement'. The people in the attachment you sent will be someone's daughter, son, sibling, niece, nephew, friend....

People with learning disabilities, and their families, have had to fight so hard in recent decades to gain acceptance in the community. We continue to work towards this goal, so it makes it incredibly depressing to realise how a lot of the hard work can be washed away with the click of a mouse button. Have a look at the mencap site below, to read about some of the work that is being done, and maybe to realise that people with disabilities are not one-dimensional people without feelings, but are the same as you and I.

PS - Fio, totally agree r.e. the married couple that you know. I bet they are a lot happier than most couples

OP posts:
KristinaM · 01/10/2006 17:29

thats a great email! so rational and contstructive. i admire you for being so clear and logical in the face of great provocation

Saturn74 · 01/10/2006 17:32

chonky, that is a brilliant response.

I hope the person who sent the vile email to you will feel ashamed of themselves, and reassess their opinions.

I'm sorry you were upset by this - I honestly cannot see why anyone would find this funny, let alone forward it on to others - but good for you for dealing with it in such a positive and diplomatic way.

(I think I'd still be tempted to stick my foot out if the email sender walked past my desk though! )

charleypopspreviouslyntt · 01/10/2006 21:11

I think that's very good chonky x

MoreTeaAnyone · 01/10/2006 21:16

Good for you Chonky. You are very politely yet forceably putting you're views across. Not too emotive but it's clear how you are feeling.

moondog · 01/10/2006 22:54

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Blu · 02/10/2006 10:50

An excellent message, Chonky.
Good luck.

coppertop · 02/10/2006 13:13

An excellent reply, Chonky. Good for you. xx

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