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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Supposed 'joke' e-mail - when will things change?

35 replies

chonky · 29/09/2006 21:33

I was forwarded a supposed 'joke' attachment today on e-mail. When I opened it I very quickly realised that it was taking the blatant p*ss (and that's an understatement) of a couple with learning disabilities' wedding.
Comments included 'so is this what you'd refer to as mentally handicapped?', and 'let's hope they don't breed', amongst others. I opened it and felt absolutely crushed - how can anyone think that this is funny, and something that they should be forwarding on, especially into the inbox of a parent of a child with profound learning difficulties?
It just made me so, so sad (that someone in the future could be posting pictures of my dd to laugh at for example), and so depressed in the sense that there are still people out there who think that adults with a learning disability aren't entitled to make the same choices as the rest of us (oh, and it's ok to laugh at them too). Feel gutted really
Sorry - just feel better for posting it here.

OP posts:

Ulysees · 29/09/2006 21:35

I know there are some ignorant people in this world. Did you block the sender?

saadia · 29/09/2006 21:37

very sorry there is no excuse for this kind of ignorance and nastiness.

MrsJohnCusack · 29/09/2006 21:38

do you know them Chonky - and is it someone at work? you could report them maybe for misuse of the email system. To me that's a lot more offensive than most crappy smutty things that people forward on all the time. So sorry - not suprised you were upset.

Carmenere · 29/09/2006 21:39

that is really horrible for you.

moondog · 29/09/2006 21:39

That's fucking outrageous Chonky.
I would have been furious.Yes,report the bastards (and take comfort form the fact that it happens a lot less than it used to.)

coppertop · 29/09/2006 21:41

and

B*stards!

lemonaid · 29/09/2006 21:43

If that's the fairly high-profile couple who married recently, that was a lovely story. They were so obviously happy and fulfilled and in love, and it was really inspiring. I can't believe anyone thinks that's funny.

Did this come from someone you know at all well?

2shoes · 29/09/2006 22:35

I think you should post this in chat or other to show what sn people have to put up with.
That is so $$$$$$$ up I had to just skim over it.
don't let it upset you the people who wrote it are sick.
Track them and report them if they were using a work computor

charleypopspreviouslyntt · 29/09/2006 22:55

Sorry you saw that Chonky, sorry it's going round.

But the outrage and disgust things like this cause make me think that maybe the tide is finally beginning to turn and things like this will not be acceptable/viewed as humourous at all in the not too distant future...

People with sn have only been part of the community for a few years - they've been shut away and totally invisible to the vast majority for hundreds of years so it's bound to take time.

Who was it that said you can measure a country's degree of civilisation by the way it treats its' elderly and disabled...??

macwoozy · 30/09/2006 01:32

chonky What complete w**kers.

KarenThirl · 30/09/2006 09:11

I saw that too, but unfortunately it was sent to me by a 'friend' so I wasn't sure how to respond. TBH I don't have the time or energy right now to explain to her why it was so offensive (or even to think of how to phrase it) so I didn't do anything about it. I've accepted that there are some ignorant people in the world, my mate isn't perfect and has some characteristics that I don't particularly like, but then I have a few iffy things about me too. I personally feel that I can't change other people but I can be a better person myself by accepting the things I don't like about them, even if it's a narrow view of disability.

It was a rotten email though, wasn't it?

misdee · 30/09/2006 09:15

i think i've recieved that one as well , pictures with garage back drop? i didnt find it funny at all.

Original poster

chonky · 30/09/2006 11:52

Thanks everyone. Misdee - yep, that's the one

It was from an ex-colleague. I will try and find the words to write to her and explain why I found it so offensive, because it upset/ angered me sufficiently to have to leave the office and go and cool off.
Several of my colleagues suggested that I report the mail to her company's postmaster - however I felt that that would be extreme knowing that the consequence would be that her contract would be terminated! I'm just hoping that she learns something from it (at the very least think about the consequences of firing off something so crass and offensive from company mail!)- although sadly I expect some people are so ignorant that there's no changing them. She does know I have a dd with CP (FGS!), although perhaps doesn't know the extent of dd's symptoms.

Lemonaid - I don't think it was the couple you're thinking of. I think I know the couple you mean, if it's the same one then it's a really lovely story

Agree charleypops - for every person who sends this cr*p there's several more that will find it sick and offensive. Here's to turning the tide .

OP posts:

Thomcat · 30/09/2006 11:55

Hope to God no-one frwards anything like that to me, I'll lose the plot. I don't stop and think and will absolutley go off the handle if I see it.

Original poster

chonky · 30/09/2006 11:59

TC - I did! I'm normally calm at work, but it was a case of coat on, grabbed umbrella & went out into the peeing rain! I shook with anger for a good half an hour, followed by sobbing my eyes out (largely through sheer rage).
The only positive about it was that I ended up telling my director about my dd's disability (I've only been working for him for 6 weeks, rather than it being a case of me keeping dd a dark secret!), and he was lovely about it.

OP posts:

Thomcat · 30/09/2006 12:01

oh chonky, so sorry mate. It's so sick isn't it.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 30/09/2006 17:53

Chonky

Sending e-mails that mock the more vulnerable members of out society on company time is a sackable offence - I would have no compunction about reporting this to her postmaster and letting them deal with her. Otherwise there is no consequence for her actions, besides which what if she sends something like this again?.

dinosaur · 30/09/2006 17:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

motherinferior · 30/09/2006 17:59

Chonky, I'm so saddened and sickened by this. I'd ring the Disability Rights Commission. And Mencap. And anyone else I could think of who might be able to make a public fuss.

Blu · 30/09/2006 18:09

Chonky, how very horrible - vile vile people who find pathetic 'humour' in this sort of thing and can't see what ignorant nasty people it makes them look like!

If you do not want to report her, could you at least send a message - preferably via 'reply to all' saying 'Actually, I didn't appreciate this at all, I found it offensive and upsetting'. The very fact that someone objects to an e mail might make her think twice about using the office email for this stuff again - and maybe think twice about the content.

Don't worry, Chonky, anyone with a shred of intelligence and humanity will be on your side and in support of your dd. Sorry you had such a horrible upset.

moondog · 30/09/2006 18:11

Chonky,I take it you have a child with special needs of some sort?
Does your friend know this????

sorrell · 30/09/2006 18:13

I think Blu's advice is good - esp the reply to all. Hopefully they will all be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

motherinferior · 30/09/2006 18:15

Frankly, it's appalling to anyone, whether or not they have children with learning disabilities. Neither of my children has, but I am genuinely sickened by this kind of thing.

FioFio · 30/09/2006 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

charleypopspreviouslyntt · 01/10/2006 16:48

Have you decided what to do yet Chonky? I like the suggestion of sending an email to everyone on the list. It would definitely make everyone think twice. This sort of thing is not ok and certainly not funny.

Let us know if you want a hand composing something appropriate x

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